On The Roof
by whitwit
Summary: Jasper is a musician searching for direction in his life.  Edward is a man who is broken by a tragedy in his past.  Can they help each other find their way to a happier place? A/H M/M
1. Chapter 1

**SUMMARY: Jasper is a musician searching for direction in his life. Edward is a man who is broken by a tragedy in his past. Can they help each other find their way to a happier place? A/H M/M**

**A/N:** Thank you to my wonderful beta, **BbEyedGirl**. She held my hand and kept me sane while she diligently corrected my grammar and punctuation.

**Disclaimers:** All Twilight characters in this story belong to Stephenie Meyer, "Under The Bridge" written by John Frusciante, Michael Balzary, Chad Smith and Anthony Kiedis.

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**Chapter 1**

The sunrise peeked out over the horizon revealing a sliver of red and orange. I could see a bright star shining not too far away from the streak of color. The black night sky shied away, retreating as though in fear, and stars began to fade under the blanket of light. It had been one of those rare clear nights in July, a pleasant reprieve from the usual cloudy cover.

Seeing the sunrise reminded me that I had been lying here on the chilled roof shingles for hours. I shivered as I realized how cold I was. Despite my cool surroundings, the half empty can of beer in my hand was warm. I put it to my lips and swallowed a mouthful. I grimaced and tossed the offending can into some bushes below.

_Gross._

I closed my eyes and sighed. I needed to sleep, but my mind refused to shut down. Last night at around 3 a.m., I gave up tossing and turning in my bed and climbed onto the roof of the house. This place often offered me solace from the outside world. Here I could relax and listen to the wind whisper to the trees and hear the gentle babble from the stream that ran close to the house. Unfortunately, this was also the place I came to on occasion to do some serious thinking, and despite utter exhaustion, my brain raced all night long.

I had moved from Tyler, Texas to Seattle, Washington six years ago to go to UW. I finished up with a degree in History and had planned to get my Masters and eventually find a teaching position. However, during my senior year I met Garrett Gunnison who introduced me to a few other guys who shared a similar interest in music. We teamed up and started a band, playing for free at several frat parties before landing gigs at local bars.

Smiling, I recalled that I learned to play guitar from my Daddy. He was one fine guitar player. He played some mean country western, but he never used his talent except for entertaining the family. His career was chosen by my granddaddy, founder of our family oil business. Daddy wanted me to go to his alma mater, Texas A&M, but I didn't want to be stuck in some small college town with a bunch of redneck cadets. He also thought I should get my Masters in Business Administration so I could work in the family business, but I never could see myself working in an office. He was disappointed when I decided on UW, but he reluctantly supported my decision.

I had been fighting off and on with my parents nearly all my life, and I argued with them again last night over the phone. I was low on cash and was hoping to find them in a good mood. What a mistake! They let me know that they were tired of supporting me. I needed to either get a job or go back to school.

_I guess I had it coming._

Although, we recently started getting paid for our gigs, it wasn't very much money. Our band, Chemical Warning, was finally getting some recognition on the local scene. It was exciting to be doing something that I really loved and getting paid for it. My other band mates, Emmett, Garrett, and Peter actually had jobs to supplement their lifestyle. Emmett and Peter were partners and owned a small music store. Garrett taught music at a local high school. I was the only one that still got an allowance from his parents.

"_You need to grow up, Jasper." Daddy growled. "Mama and I talked. We're not doin' you any favors by lettin' you live off us. Startin' next month, I'm cuttin' you off. You need to get yourself a job, boy. No more foolin' around with those friends of yours. You come on back here to Texas and I'll have Henry Newsome give you a job on one of our oil rigs. Be good for you. Being a roustabout or roughneck is hard labor, but it'll make a man out of you, and it's high time you learned about the family business."_

I winced as I remembered his words. What made him think I wasn't a man?

"_I don't wanna work on an oil rig. I've got a degree in History." I pointed out to him._

"_And what good is that degree doin' ya?" he countered, "Biggest waste of time and money, if you ask me. What are you doin' these days? Still playing that sorry-ass music of yours? Well, don't you even think I'm payin' for that anymore. Get a job or get yourself back in school. Go for that Masters in Business Administration like we talked about."_

Then Mama got on the phone. I cringed as I recalled her persistent nagging about settling down.

"_Sweet pea, you know I only want you to be happy, right?" she asked, in her sugary southern accent, "Whatever happened to that cute little girl you used to date, Alice? Wasn't that her name?"_

"_Mama," I tried to explain for the hundredth time, "we've never dated. She's just a close friend." I cursed myself for ever bringing Alice home at Thanksgiving and introducing her to them. Originally, it was a ploy to allay any suspicions about my lack of interest in the opposite sex. They had no idea I was gay and I sure as hell wasn't ready to tell them._

Alice Brandon was one of our first real fans. She'd been hanging around us for months, coming to our practices, bringing her friends to our gigs and cheering enthusiastically while we played. Her effervescent personality was hard to contain and helped give us the boost we needed at times to keep going. She and I became good friends despite her disappointment when she found out I was gay. However, once she knew about my sexual preference, she made it her mission to find me a boyfriend. She was constantly introducing me to random guys that she thought I might like.

"_Well, if you ask me I think she'd be perfect for you, Jasper Whitlock." Mama remarked. "She wouldn't put up with your laziness. You need to get yourself a nice job so you can impress her. She's not gonna want to get serious with you 'til you do. Oh, I could just see the babies you two would make with your pretty blue eyes and her black hair!"_

"_Mama, stop!" I begged. "Anyway, her hair's dyed. I think she told me she has red hair."_

"_Well, red's not bad. What kinda family is she from? Good people, I hope. She does know how to cook, doesn't she?" Mama continued. I groaned._

"_Mama, I gotta go now." I said._

"_Honey, if she ain't right for you there are plenty of pretty girls down here. You remember Tanya, don't you? Her mama told me she's home from school right now. She's a looker and has a pretty head of red hair to boot. Why don't you move back home, baby?"_

"_Bye, Mama." I said as I hung up._

Thinking about my love life made me think about Seth again. I still don't know what I could have done differently to keep him from leaving. I just wasn't enough for him. I started to reflect on the last time we argued.

_Oh hell no! I don't want to start thinking about this stuff again._

I buried my head in my hands. Man, they knew just what to say to ruin my mood. Maybe they're right, though. Maybe I am wasting away time pretending I have a music career. I need to man up and get my shit together. Go back to school, I guess. Fuck if I'm going home, though.

_Shit! How am I going to tell the guys that I need to quit the band?_

"WELL, THANK FUCK!" The loud voice startled me, and my eyes snapped open. The sun was now higher in the sky. Its warmth enveloped me with comfort. I must have finally passed out. I looked up to see wisps of Garrett's long, baby-fine brown hair blowing with the light breeze. He was peering at me from the top of the ladder with a smirk on his face. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes.

"Jasper," he said, shaking his head, "What the fuck are you doing up here anyway? Have you been up here all night?"

Yawning, I shrugged.

"Dude, I've been looking for you. Emmett called. He says there's going to be a talent agent at The Liquid Lounge tonight." Garrett didn't try to conceal the excitement in his voice. "He's going there to check out Charmed Trick, but this is our chance to get noticed. Who knows? Maybe we'll get a chance at a contract."

I raised an eyebrow and gave him an incredulous look. "Yeah, sure. Don't get your hopes up. We're not that good."

"You've gotta quit this emo shit, man!" he exclaimed, angrily. "I'm sick of it! Every time you come up here, you're moody for days."

"I'm sorry." I muttered, guiltily. "I'm just really tired." I really didn't mean to take my frustration out on him. Looking into his earnest brown eyes, I couldn't think of a way that I could quit the band without hurting him. He'd been my best friend for years.

"Whatever. Come on down," he sighed, "I'll fix you something to eat."

Grudgingly, I followed him down the ladder.

Garrett and I had been housemates for two years. He and Kate, his girlfriend at the time, offered me a place to stay after I broke up with Seth. They broke up a few months after I moved in. Having undergone similar heartbreaks helped Garrett and me to become close. Kate moved away to Arizona and we remained in the house.

The house was located in a fairly remote area outside of Seattle. It had two bedrooms and a bath. We converted the living area into a practice room for the band. We could be as loud as we needed to be without disturbing any neighbors. It was perfect.

As we entered the kitchen through the back door, I heard Alice's tinkling laughter drifting from within.

"Oh…umm…yeah…Alice is here." Garrett said turning to look at my reaction. "She brought a guy with her."

"What the fuck, man." I grumbled quietly. "What's she doing here so early?"

"Jazz, it's nearly noon." Garrett said, rolling his eyes. "She asked us yesterday if she could come by to listen to us practice. You do remember that we have practice today after lunch. Emmett and Peter will be here in a few minutes. I'm thinking about making some burgers."

"You might want to go shower and change." He added. "You look and smell like a homeless bum. Oh, and before I forget, quit throwing your fucking beer cans into the bushes."

"Fuck you and thanks for the personal hygiene tips, asshole." I sneered. He laughed and opened the refrigerator to take out ingredients for our lunch.

"Yeah, I love you too, baby." He snickered.

I marched through the hallway towards the bathroom. As I passed the practice room, I was hailed by Alice who was standing in front of a guy seated on the leather couch by the wall.

"Hey, Jazz!" She called. "Come here. I want you to meet somebody."

Rolling my eyes and sighing, I shuffled into the practice room, and I watched as he stood up and stepped around her. My mouth suddenly dropped open. Standing next to Alice like a Greek deity was the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on. He had delicate, pale skin and was tall, nearly as tall as me, with a thick, untamed mop of fiery bronze hair. His large eyes were a gorgeous shade of green framed by long dark lashes. He had thick dark brows and a sharp jaw line with just a hint of scruff that had my hands itching to touch. He was 100% god and nothing short of amazing. Apparently my cock concurred with my appraisal and tried to push its way out of my jeans.

"Jasper this is my cousin, Edward." Alice said, cheerfully grasping my wrist and pulling me forward. Giggling, she whispered loudly to him, "I told you he was cute." I froze in front of them hoping they wouldn't notice the bulge in my pants.

Edward blushed and gave Alice an annoyed expression. Then he turned to me and said in a velvety soft voice, "Hi Jasper. It's nice to meet you." He looked at me shyly, smiled and politely held out his hand to shake mine.

Frozen in place, I stared down at his perfectly manicured fingers. They were pale and long. He was wearing a tight, dark green short-sleeved band shirt which clearly revealed the finely-defined muscles in his chest and arms. His long legs were clothed in a pair of skinny jeans and he wore a pair of chucks without socks. Unable to take my eyes off of his proffered hand, my mind went into overdrive imagining those long beautiful fingers wrapped around my dick. Then I noticed his crotch.

_Holy shit! He's sporting wood!_

My breath hitched as my eyes shot up and locked with his. His eyes went wide and his cheeks were flushed a delicious shade of crimson. He cast his eyes downward, withdrew his hand and plopped back down on the couch.

_Crap! Did he see my boner?_

Alice was oblivious to our embarrassing situation. She looked at him and then at me with a confused and hurt expression.

"I'm sorry, guys," I apologized, looking at my hands. "I'm a filthy mess. I need to take a shower. I'll be back in a minute." With that I turned and quickly walked to the bathroom and out of their sight.

I closed the door and locked it. Standing with my back against the door, I took in several gulps of air to calm myself. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. A pitiful sight met my eyes. My long blonde waves looked greasy and were matted and sticking out in places. My blue eyes were glazed and accentuated by dark shadows below.

_Garrett's right. I look like shit._

I lifted my arm and took a whiff.

_Phew! In the shower. NOW!_

I quickly stripped off my clothes and turned on the shower. I pissed and then I brushed my teeth and shaved while the water warmed up. By the time I'd rinsed my mouth out, puffs of steam were filling up the room. I pulled the shower curtain back and hopped into the tub.

_Ow! Ow! That's hot!_

I quickly adjusted the cold and hot water to a perfect temperature and then reveled in the sensation of the warm spray. Shutting my eyes, I finally felt relaxed. I let my mind drift and zone out. A couple of minutes later I remembered that our hot water heater was not very large. Sighing, I began soaping myself and washing my hair. As I set down the green bottle of shampoo on the tub's edge, I suddenly recalled those green eyes I had seen minutes before, green eyes that were still in the next room. My cock, which had been hanging heavy between my legs, instantly delighted in the memory and began pointing to the wall, not unlike an old Springer Spaniel my Daddy and I used to take hunting. I stroked it soothingly with my right hand.

_I know, buddy. He's behind that wall. I better take care of you or you'll embarrass me in front of those nice people._

Closing my eyes and gripping myself tighter, I began pumping faster. I leaned against the wall with my left arm. Behind me the warm water massaged my back. In my mind those beautiful green eyes stared deeply into mine. I imagined feeling his plump, red lips against mine, ravishing his mouth with my tongue, licking his scruffy jaw, biting his soft earlobe. I moaned quietly as I imagined him touching me, telling me how much he wanted me as our cocks slid up and down against each other. I could feel warmth in my lower abs as my balls tightened. My hips were thrusting erratically as my cock erupted, sending cum splashing against the wall.

"Fuck!"

Gasping for air, I continued to pump my cock, squeezing out the last drops of my release until I was completely sated. When I finally dropped my hand, my knees buckled and I grasped the towel bar to avoid falling down. My breathing slowly returned to normal, and I used the hand sprayer to rinse the clods of cum down the drain. I washed myself off one more time, turned off the cooling water and pulled open the shower curtain. As I wrapped a towel around my waist, I was startled by a pounding on the bathroom door.

"Are you done jerking off in there, Jasper!" Emmett boomed. "Let me in! I need to take a piss."

Holding my towel on the side of my waist, I pulled open the door and Emmett stumbled in almost knocking me over.

"Well, it's about time. Rose wouldn't let me pee in the bushes outside. I was thinking about using your shoes," he said, pushing his 250 lb. frame past me, unzipping his jeans and whipping out his penis.

"Hey! Wait 'til I'm out of here! I don't need to see your dick." I shouted, frowning.

He roared with laughter as I slammed the door behind me and padded across the hall to my room. I could smell the burgers that Garrett was cooking and my stomach growled. I needed to hurry if I wanted to eat. Emmett and Peter could easily polish off all the burgers before I made it to the kitchen.

The door to my room was half-way open so I used my foot to push it open all the way. What I saw then nearly made me drop my towel right there in the doorway. Edward was nervously sitting on the edge of my bed picking at loose threads on the bedspread. He hadn't noticed me come in and I used the opportunity to observe him. He seemed to be in deep thought as he chewed on his lower lip and carefully pulled on the loose threads. My memory of seeing him only minutes before did not do him justice. He was more beautiful than I remembered. The sunlight streaming in from the window highlighted his hair in red, copper and gold. His skin was almost translucent and seemed to glow. I inadvertently cleared my throat then and when he heard me, he jumped up like something had bit him.

"J-Jasper! Uh…hi. S-sorry. Is this your room? I-I needed to use the bathroom and I…uh…didn't want to stand in the hall." He stammered nervously, staring at my bare chest. "Emmett said it was okay to sit in here. I hope you don't mind. Um…um…yeah…I should leave so you can get dressed." Once again his face was flushed, which only emphasized its beauty. I felt the warmth of his skin as he quickly brushed past me, shutting the door before I could even respond. I shivered as the faint scent of his cologne wafted in his wake.

_Is it possible that he's as attracted to me as I am to him?_

Shaking my head and laughing quietly to myself, I dressed quickly in a pair of cargo shorts, a plain white tee shirt and some flip-flops. I put a little product in my hair and ran my comb through it. Before I walked out of my room, I checked myself out in the mirror of my dresser. I was very pleased with the improvement.

Wandering into the kitchen, I noticed that everyone was already sitting around the table eating and talking amicably. Emmett and Peter had brought their wives, Rosalie and Charlotte. They smiled and waved to me.

"Hey Jasper!" Charlotte called out

Garrett looked up and said, "Jazz, get in here and get some food before Emmett inhales the rest of it."

I could see that the platter of hamburgers in the middle of the table was nearly empty. I didn't waste any time. I grabbed a plate off of the counter and then looked for a spot at the table. The only place that was left was between Rosalie and Garrett.

"Come on, Jazz." Rosalie beckoned. "There's plenty of room."

"Yeah," Garrett agreed, "Get your skinny ass over here."

They scooted their chairs aside to make room for me to squeeze my chair between them.

When I finally got settled and looked across the table, I realized I was sitting directly in front of Edward. Alice was seated next to him and they were both busy whispering to each other. They appeared to be having an argument. I distinctly overheard Edward angrily whispering 'I won't do it!' to her. Edward's head was down and turned towards Alice, but the moment I sat down, he looked over at me and gave me a goofy crooked smile.

"Hi," I greeted, returning the smile.

I grabbed a burger and some chips from the center of the table and tucked in. The conversation was flowing freely between everyone, but I really wasn't listening. I nearly choked when I distinctly felt a bare foot stroking my calf.

"Are you okay?" Rosalie asked me with concern as she thumped my back.

I coughed violently for a minute before I was able to wheeze a response. "I'll be okay."

Garrett handed me a glass of water and I sipped it carefully. My eyes were blurry with tears, but I could still see Edward's guilty face. His eyes were wide as he watched me. He turned and frowned at Alice.

"Jazz, there's an art to inhaling food." Emmett said with a smirk. "Watch and learn." He picked up a burger, bit it nearly in half, chewed twice and swallowed.

"Em, have some manners." Rosalie admonished, slapping him in the back of the head. Everyone laughed as Emmett pouted and rubbed the back of his head with his hand.

"Damn it, Rose! That hurt," he whined.

"So," Peter said, changing subjects, "Should we work with the same set list we used last week?"

We all agreed that the set we used at last week's gig was well received and we should stick to it again, especially if we wanted to impress the talent agent that was supposed to be there.

"A lot of my friends are coming tonight." Alice announced, proudly. "He'll hear us cheering for you."

"Cam says the guy's name is James Jager. He represents his family business, Jager Records." Emmett informed us. "He reserved a table for four tonight. He's really there to see Charmed Trick. I heard that he wants to offer them a contract."

Cam was one of the managers of the Liquid Lounge, where we were scheduled to appear tonight. We'd played there several times and he'd been pretty happy with the entertainment that we provided. His tip to Emmett was just his way of lending us some support.

"Well, let's get some practice in for at least a couple of hours." Peter suggested. "Cam says we're set to go on at around midnight. Charmed Trick is scheduled to go on after we're done. Let's hope that he gets there early and at least hears part of our set tonight."

We quickly finished up our lunch and moved to the practice room. Edward and Alice offered to clean up the dishes so we could go ahead and get started. After they finished with the clean up, they both came in and sat down with Rose and Charlotte to watch us practice.

The ladies sat on the couch and Edward sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Alice. As I played my guitar and sang, I glanced at him every few minutes out of the corner of my eye. Every now and then Alice would lean down and whisper something into his ear making him laugh. It was a beautiful sight to see. I wanted to be the one to make him laugh that way. He never took his eyes off of me while we played. I decided that I definitely needed to get to know him better.

When we played our cover of "Under the Bridge," I found myself staring into his eyes as I sang.

**_It's hard to believe that there's nobody out there_**  
**_It's hard to believe that I'm all alone_**  
**_At least I have her love the city she loves me_**  
**_Lonely as I am together we cry_**

**_I don't ever wanna feel like I did that day_**  
**_Take me to the place I love take me all the way_**  
**_I don't ever wanna feel like I did that day_**  
**_Take me to the place I love take me all the way._**

After thirty minutes Garrett suggested a break. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of beers. When I came back to the room, I winked at Edward and motioned for him to follow me out to the front porch. I saw Alice nudging him with her foot. He hesitated for a moment, but then stood up and followed me, eyes downcast.

Once outside, I leaned against the wall and handed him one of the beers. He took it from me, twisted off the cap and put the bottle to his lips taking a long drink. I was mesmerized watching his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

_Fuck. So hot._

I reached into my pocket for my pack of cigarettes and offered him one by holding it out to him, but he shook his head and smiled shyly.

"No thanks. Those things will kill you." He said softly, peeling small pieces off the label on the bottle. He seemed so nervous. I really needed to do something about that.

"So you and Alice are cousins?" I asked, trying to distract him. I took a drag on my cigarette. "Don't remember her mentioning that she had cousins in the area."

"Our mothers are sisters," he said, "Her parents live in Mississippi. She moved in with us a couple of years ago to go to school."

"She's a live firecracker, for sure," I told him. "A really good friend of ours. She's always dragging her friends to our shows. Don't remember seeing you before, though."

"It's not for lack of trying," he admitted. "I guess I've just been…preoccupied."

I narrowed my eyes. "So how did she talk you into coming today? Did she threaten you or something? Is she blackmailing you?"

He giggled and bit his lower lip. I noticed that he had dropped his arms and seemed more relaxed. "No threats or blackmail, but she is very persistent. She even got my mother involved. She's been begging me to come meet you for weeks. I'm sorry if this is uncomfortable for you. She is so set on finding me a boyfriend."

"Oh, I'm not uncomfortable, but now it's making sense. Ever since she crowned herself QGM, I've been a victim, or in her mind a client, too." I admitted with a knowing grin.

"QGM?" he asked.

"Queen of Gay Matchmaking." I told him, tilting my head back and taking a swig of beer.

He threw back his head and laughed heartily. I couldn't help but laugh too. I felt so proud at that moment.

_I did it! I made him laugh._

Absently running his fingers through his messy locks he said, "Oh, before I forget, I wanted to apologize for…well, you know…at the table." His face had turned bright red as he looked up at me through his lashes.

Wanting to torture him a bit, I frowned and replied, "No. What do you mean?"

His green eyes widened in surprise. "Umm…my foot. It was my foot touching your leg. I thought you knew." He shifted his weight anxiously from one foot to the other.

"Oh, yeah," I said, chuckling, "You just surprised me. You know, that was a pretty bold move."

"Alice kept bugging me to do it. I shouldn't have listened to her. She told me that my horoscope said that I should take a bold step to harness romance, not that I believe in that crap anyway." He confessed.

"So," I said, "How do you think that worked out for you?"

"Not very well, I'm afraid," he admitted. "When you started choking, I worried that we were going to have to take you to the ER." My cock twitched as I watched him chew on his lower lip. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed nervously. "I'm really sorry about that."

_This guy's adorable._

"Don't be so certain it won't work out." I soothed. "The day's not over yet."

Without permission, my hand reached out and cupped his cheek. His eyes shot up and locked with mine for a moment and then he leaned his head into my hand. His eyes closed and he slowly licked his lower lip. I moved closer to him, never taking my eyes off of his lips. Just as I started to lean in, I heard the door open. My hand automatically dropped and Edward and I both looked up to see Peter stick his head out.

"Sorry man, but I only have time to practice for another hour then I need to head back to relieve Jared at the store." He informed us. "We close at six tonight." I nodded in acknowledgement and he pulled his head back into the house and shut the door.

I took another long drag of my cigarette and then flicked it over the side of the porch into the bushes.

"So what are you doing after this?" I asked him.

"My mom's watching the shop for me right now. I need to get back so she can go home." He answered.

"You have a shop?" I queried.

"It's a small coffee shop near the campus. I've had it for about a year now." He answered, timidly. "Would you like to come see it?"

I smiled at him. "Yeah, I could use a good cup of coffee since I haven't had any today. Do you have good coffee?" I asked him.

"I'll let you decide. I can make you a nice cappuccino or latte." He promised. As he turned to walk back into the house, I grasped his hand and held him back. It was soft and warm and caused my arm to vibrate with electricity. He turned and looked at me surprised. Before he could say anything, I hastily pulled him to me and stole a chaste kiss. His lips were sweet and the smell of his cologne permeated my brain. He had closed his eyes for a brief moment. When he opened them, they had darkened to an almost forest green. He pulled back slightly and I could see my own reflection in those dark pools.

"Sorry," I whispered, "I couldn't help myself." He pulled my hand up and lightly kissed my knuckles. Then he smiled at me radiantly before we walked into the house.

_This is turning out to be a fucking amazing day._

_

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_

Thanks for reading. Your comments are welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Hugs and kisses to my beta, **BbEyedGirl**. I don't know what I'd do without you, sweetie.

**Disclaimers: **All Twilight characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer, "Subterranean Homesick Blues" written by Bob Dylan, "Your Song" written by Bernie Taupin.

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**Chapter 2**

After that sweet kiss on the porch, I had to work extra hard to concentrate during the rest of practice. My mind and eyes kept drifting to Edward. His eyes seemed glued to me as well, and we exchanged several surreptitious smiles for the next hour.

Since Alice had brought Edward over in her car, I offered to drive him back to his coffee shop in my pickup. He hesitated at first, asking me to wait until he'd spoken to Alice. After a whispered conversation between them, he walked over to me and told me that Alice was planning to stay longer to help Garrett clean up. I narrowed my eyes and looked at Garrett curiously. His expression was unreadable. Edward thanked me for my offer, and I noticed Alice sporting a satisfied smirk as we walked out.

The weather had changed since the morning and, though it wasn't raining yet, the wind had picked up and the clouds were darkening the sky enough to make me use my headlights.

With the exception of Edward's directions to his place, the first several minutes of the ride were unusually quiet. Even in the darkness of the cab, I could see him glancing at me often out of the corner of his eye. His hands were in constant motion, twisting and pulling on the hem of his shirt. I wasn't sure what was causing him to be so nervous. To break up the silence, I turned on the CD player.

The voice of Bob Dylan came on singing "Subterranean Homesick Blues". Smiling, I began to sing along.

_**Johnny's in the basement  
Mixing up the medicine  
I'm on the pavement  
Thinking about the government  
The man in the trench coat  
Badge out, laid off  
Says he's got a bad cough  
Wants to get it paid off**_

Edward's mouth broke into a crooked grin and he joined me for the next part of the verse.

_**Look out kid  
It's somethin' you did  
God knows when  
But you're doin' it again  
You better duck down the alley way  
Lookin' for a new friend  
The man in the coon-skip cap  
In the big pen  
Wants eleven dollar bills**__**  
**__**You only got ten.**__**  
**_

We both started laughing.

"You like Dylan?" I asked.

"It's old school. I know, but the man's fucking brilliant and the song's a classic." Edward said simply, "What's not to like?"

"You know, you have a great voice," he added.

"Thanks," I said. "You're not too bad yourself. Do you play?"

He hesitated for a few seconds before answering. "Piano, mostly…a little guitar. It's been a while since I've played though."

I reached across to turn down the music at the same time that he reached to do the same. Our hands brushed against each other briefly and I felt the familiar surge of electricity travel up my arm. We both pulled back at the same time and locked eyes.

_He feels it too._

I turned back to the road and stared out, watching it rush under my wheels.

"So…why is that?" I asked him.

Edward was still staring at me. "Hmm? Oh! You mean why I haven't been playing lately?"

I nodded.

"It's complicated." He stated, frowning and turning back to face the road.

I glanced at him briefly. He closed his eyes and swallowed. I felt my cock twitch when he licked his plump red lips.

_I want to taste those lips._

"I think I can keep up." I assured him.

He looked at me again. His eyes were filled with worry and he bit down on his lower lip. He was struggling, trying to decide if he could trust me enough to tell me. Finally, he let out a sigh and began.

"A little over a year and a half ago my boyfriend was murdered." My eyes shot over to him in horror. "We were out late one night at a club and when we walked back to our car, a couple of guys jumped us. I thought they wanted to rob us, but I was wrong. They were screaming at us, calling us fags and queers." Edward paused and took a couple of deep breaths before continuing. "One of them had a crowbar. He used it to beat Riley." His voice broke on Riley's name and he paused again to gain control of his emotions. "The other one just kept kicking me with his boots. After they left us, I dragged myself over to Riley to check on him. He wasn't breathing. I had several broken bones including some in my right hand. Before, I blacked out I managed to pull out my cell and call 911 using my left hand. By the time they got there he was dead. I had a concussion and was in a coma for a couple of days. I spent a week in the hospital and several months in rehab. I had to drop out of school, and I haven't been back."

He lowered his head and a tear rolled down his cheek. I reached over and wiped it off with my fingertips.

_Damn. And I thought I had problems._

"Jesus, Edward, I'm so sorry," I said regretfully, turning my eyes back on the road. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's okay," he said as he scrubbed his face with his hands and tried unsuccessfully to muster a smile. "I've been told that it's good for me to talk about it occasionally. It helps in letting go."

He took another deep breath and shook his head. "Anyway, I could never get myself to go back to school. Maybe someday…I don't know."

I wanted so badly to pull over, wrap my arms around him and comfort him, but I could see that we were getting close to our destination. With a few more directions, Edward soon had us pulling into a parking lot next to a narrow two-story building. The front of the building had a small blue and white striped awning over a door with the name "Cullen Coffee Company" painted on it. In the window a bright pink neon sign announced "OPEN".

We stepped out of my truck and Edward led us to the front door.

"Nice place." I complimented, peering into the window. Noticing that there were no patrons inside, I added, "It doesn't look too busy right now."

"Most of my business is breakfast and lunch…and usually takeout." Edward explained, shrugging and opening the door for us. He ushered me in by placing his warm hand on my lower back. I could feel the heat radiating through my thin shirt. I shivered imperceptibly as I stepped into the shop.

The inside was clean, warm and inviting with the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods. The walls were a dark oak and the fixtures were brass. Newspapers and magazines were stacked neatly on narrow tables that lined the walls, and four small oak tables were scattered near the front. A glass display case held various pastries and cakes. A bell tinkled as we entered, and a beautiful and petite older woman with long, wavy caramel colored hair quickly stepped out from the back room to greet us.

"Edward, thank goodness you're back! I left you some lasagna in the refrigerator." She said as she yanked off her apron and pulled out her purse from behind the polished counter. She adjusted her wire-rimmed glasses before turning to look at Edward. "I really need to get back home before your father gets there. I have to start dinner soon."

"He won't starve, Mom." Edward admonished, jokingly. "Make him take you out to eat. Oh, Mom, this is—," he began, motioning to me.

"Oh hello, dear. I'm Edward's mother, Esme Cullen," she interrupted with a broad grin, noticing me for the first time. Her eyes sparkled in the same shade of green as Edward's. She held out her hand to shake mine.

"Hello, ma'am. Jasper Whitlock. Pleasure to meet you," I responded, taking her hand and lifting it to my lips for a light kiss.

_My mama didn't raise a barbarian._

She seemed amused by my manners. Giggling she gushed, "It's a pleasure to meet you too, Jasper."

Edward rolled his eyes at me and shook his head. "Okay…I'll see you later, Mom. Thanks for helping me out today," he said as he escorted her to the front door.

"You're both welcome to join us for dinner," she offered, turning to look at me pleading with her eyes. "I'm making pot roast."

"Umm…yeah. Maybe another time," Edward replied, opening the door and gently guiding her out. "Thanks for helping me today, Mom. Drive safely and say hi to Dad."

Before he could close the door, she grabbed him around the neck and pulled him down to her. She pecked his cheek and then, in a typical motherly fashion, wiped away the lipstick with her thumb.

"Very well, then. Have it your way, sweetheart," she pouted. "You both have a nice evening." She stepped away and Edward shut the door quickly.

We stood together at the window and waved to her. After smiling at us warmly and returning our wave, she turned and walked to her car. Edward sighed loudly, locked the door and turned off the neon sign.

Spinning around to face me, he asked, "So…what are you in the mood for?"

_Sex._

I raised an eyebrow and grinned, but he either didn't notice or ignored my innuendo.

"I have cappuccino, latte and espresso. Oh, and I also have regular coffee," he continued.

Motioning for me to follow him to the back room, he added, "And would you like to have something with it?"

"What do you suggest?" I asked him back as I followed a couple of steps behind him, checking out his ass.

"Well, does anything look good to you?" he queried, turning back to look at me. My eyes snapped up to his and I noticed that he was smirking. "You do realize, of course, that I'm referring to the pastries."

"Pastries…yeah sure, that sounds great." I blurted, glancing back at the display case. "And a latte."

Edward chuckled. "Coming right up. Have a seat." He pointed to a tiny table with two chairs in a corner of the room and then busied himself with preparing our coffee and desserts.

_I guess being back in his own environment boosted his confidence. He doesn't seem as shy now._

As I sat down, my phone chirped with a message from Garrett.

**J DONT 4GET: WE NEED UR TRUCK 2 GET THE EQUIP 2 LL.**

I sent back a short message.

**B BACK N PLENTY OF TIME.**

_Of course, Edward might make me forget about getting back on time._

Smirking as a few fantasies flashed through my mind, I pocketed my phone and took a look around. A tidy oak desk and an old desk chair were next to my table. A laptop computer sat on top of the desk. On both sides of the room were counters and shelves filled with supplies. In the opposite corner, I noticed a wrought iron spiral staircase.

"What's upstairs?" I asked. Turning my head I was startled to find Edward standing right in front of me holding a tray with two steaming cups of coffee and a plate of biscotti. The scent of strawberries and honey overwhelmed me, even over the aroma of the coffee.

_What is it? His body wash? Cologne? Shampoo?_

As he set the tray down, his hand brushed against mine again. The hairs on my arm stood up.

"My apartment," he answered. "I live upstairs. Would you like to see it?"

_Hell, yes._

"Umm…sure. Maybe after we have our coffee." I tried to keep my voice cool, but my mind was racing with possibilities.

Edward sat down across from me and took a cookie from the plate. I watched his mouth and fingers as he nibbled on it for a moment.

"So, are you nervous about tonight?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I returned.

"About the gig. About that guy, Jager, being there," he clarified.

"Nah," I said nonchalantly, taking a sip of my coffee. "Nothing's gonna come of it even if Jager comes in early and hears us play."

"Edward, this coffee is delicious," I complimented.

"Thanks. What do you mean nothing's gonna come of it? You guys are really good." Edward seemed a bit perturbed by my flippant attitude. He scowled at me.

"Dude, you've got to be better than just good. We're okay. Truth is, I'm thinking about quitting."

_Shit._

I don't know what made me tell him that. I realized too late that it probably was not a very good idea to tell him before Garrett and the others. I chewed on my cookie and looked at him nervously. He was quiet for a moment. His brow was furrowed as he thought about his reply.

"Why?" he asked. "The way you play and sing make me think that you really love music."

"I do, but I can't make a living doing it. I don't think I'm that good. I have a degree in history. If I go back to school for my Master's maybe I can teach or something." He frowned, tilting his head to the side and narrowing his eyes. He wasn't buying my excuse.

Shaking his head, he stated, "I think it's more important to do the things that make you happy. Life is short. Trust me. I know." He picked up his cup and sipped his coffee slowly, never taking his eyes off of me. I looked into those green pools, sadly regretting my lack of discretion.

_He can't possibly understand. I do love music and I love Garrett and the guys, but I have to be able to make it on my own._

The next thirty minutes were spent arguing back and forth about my decision to leave the band. I couldn't tell him that I needed my family to respect me and treat me like an adult. I didn't want him to know that they currently didn't. I argued that there was too much competition in the music world. It was more practical to aim lower by simply working a profession I knew I could earn a living in. In the end, we decided that we would simply agree to disagree for now. I made him promise to not breathe a word of this to anyone, especially Alice.

When the cookies were gone, the coffee drained and the conversation at a lull, I asked, "So, do I get a tour of the upstairs?"

Edward bit down on his lower lip and smiled, "Sure. Just leave the dishes. I'll get them later." He stood and walked toward the staircase. I followed close behind.

As we climbed the winding stairs, I used the opportunity to watch his ass swivel in those skinny jeans. It took every bit of self-control to keep from reaching up and grabbing it with both hands. I licked my lips and sighed quietly.

_Jeez, what a luscious ass._

Edward opened the door at the top of the stairs and held it for me to walk through first. He flipped a light switch as he entered and my mouth fell open. Looking around me, I felt as though I'd stepped into another century. The large open space was filled with antiques; even the knick knacks on the shelves looked old. The drapes on the windows were heavy dark brocade. To the left was a small kitchenette. The cherry cabinets had leaded glass on the doors and the countertops were a mosaic tile. The only modern items seemed to be the appliances which gleamed under the lights.

Against the far wall was a large brass bed with a nightstand that held a brass lamp. Like a moth to a flame, I walked over to it and sat down on the edge. Edward watched curiously from the doorway. I smiled at him and patted the spot next to me. He pushed the door closed with his foot and then walked over never taking his eyes off of me.

"Interesting choice in furniture," I said, as he sat down next to me. Closing my eyes, I breathed in his fragrance. I reached for his hand and threaded my fingers through his. It was soft and warm. Smiling at him, I squeezed it gently. I saw him shiver.

_I love how he responds to my touch._

"It was my grandmother's. She lived here for a while after my grandfather passed away," he explained, staring down at our clasped hands. I stared at his mouth as he spoke. He reached up with his other hand and ran it through his hair.

"And you loved the furniture so much you decided to keep it when you moved in?" I prompted, raising an eyebrow in amusement. I picked up our hands and experimentally started placing light kisses on each of his fingers. I watched him carefully for a reaction.

_Let's see what you do, darlin'._

He gasped at the sensation. His eyes shot up to meet mine and his cheeks blossomed to a warm pink.

_Ah, how I love that blush!_

"N-no. I-I didn't mean to live here this long. It was suppose to be temporary," he stammered, still staring at me and gently trying to pull his hand away.

_Oh no you don't._

I wasn't letting go. Instead I reached up with my other hand and wrapped it around the back of his neck pulling his face close to me. We were only inches apart when I whispered, "Is this okay?"

He seemed a little frightened, but he nodded slowly. I pulled him closer and brushed my lips against his. They were soft and smooth. Sighing as though relieved, he closed his eyes and relaxed a little. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly.

_I'm not gonna bite. I just wanna nibble on you a bit._

I moved from his lips to the corners of his mouth, kissing each side lightly, then to his eyes, then up his jaw line nibbling slowly along its sharp edge, enjoying the feel of the soft scruff on my lips. The sensation was as wonderful as I had imagined. When I reached his earlobe, I sucked it into my mouth and let my tongue play with it, relishing its softness.

His breath hitched and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. When I pulled away slightly to look at him, he crashed his lips against mine and squeezed me tightly. I groaned and opened my mouth allowing him to deepen this kiss. He wasted no time in plunging his tongue in, tangling with my own, tasting and humming with delight.

I was swept away by the faint taste of coffee and his scent. I wanted to devour him. I needed more. I pulled my hand away from his and pressed it against his abdomen slowly moving it up and down, exploring his well-defined muscles through his thin tee shirt. The fingertips of my other hand twisted the ends of the silky strands of hair on the nape of his neck. He reacted by moving one of his hands slowly down my lower back, massaging it around and around in light circles. Our kissing became sloppy and more demanding as we became more and more aroused with need.

_More. I want more. Does he?_

After a several minutes, we had to break apart to get some air. I pressed my forehead against his and closed my eyes.

"Edward," I uttered, breathlessly, "I need to touch your skin. May I touch you please?"

I pulled up on his shirt and he raised his arms up to let me yank it off. Sitting back, I let my eyes feast on him. His skin was glorious with only a thin patch of light brown hair in the center of his chest. His neck glistened with perspiration, and his rosy pink nipples were peaked and hard little nubs. I reached over and palmed them roughly with my hands. He threw his head back and swallowed convulsively. Leaning over, I sucked on his Adam's apple and bit down lightly.

_I've been dying to do that all day._

He moaned and shuddered. Bringing his head back up, his eyes bored into me lustily. He reached for my shirt hem and pulled up on it. I raised my arms to let him tug it off and we immediately pressed our chests together, igniting flames of passion. A shiver ran down my spine, and the hairs on my arm stood up.

_Fuck, he feels amazing._

"Jasper," Edward breathed, digging his fingers into my back.

Our hands began frantically exploring and memorizing every part of our skin, taking in every sensation. Eventually, I pressed him back until he was lying on the mattress. He complied, turning and pushing himself up backwards until his head was resting on the pillows. I kicked off my flip flops, crawled up and laid myself on top of him. I could feel his prominent erection pressing against my thigh. My own was throbbing and I couldn't stop myself from thrusting against his hip for some relief.

We spent the next several minutes dry humping and making out. He was panting heavily, meeting each of my thrusts with vigor. I could feel the muscles in my lower abdomen tightening. I knew this was not what I wanted for our first time. My fingertips slowly drifted down his stomach. When they reached the waistband of his jeans, I let my forefinger slip underneath. Edward suddenly stopped moving and pushed my hand away.

"Jasper," he gasped, "I-I don't know… I haven't…in a long time."

He turned his face away from me, biting his lip. He looked embarrassed. I took a deep breath and pulled my hand up to his face. With my forefinger and thumb, I pulled his chin back toward me so I could look him in the eyes. My cock throbbed in protest.

_Damn it!_

"It's okay, darlin'," I lied, smiling and trying to reassure him. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

Edward sighed in exasperation, "But I do. I want to. Believe me. I really want to. It's just…it's just been a long time for me. I'm not sure I can last very long. It…it won't be good for you."

_That's what he's worried about? He's thinks it won't be good for me?_

"Baby, anything we do will be good for me," I assured him. "I want you so much." I kissed the tip of his nose and reached down again to press my hand against his erection.

"Oh shit," he groaned, closing his eyes and arching his back. "That feels so good."

"I know, but I can make it feel even better if you'll let me," I promised. Before he could answer, I moved my hand to the button on his jeans, pausing as I looked into his darkened eyes.

"Y-yes," he replied weakly to my unspoken question.

I made quick work of the button and zipper, folding back the flaps of the opening. Slipping my hand under his boxer briefs, I grasped his swollen cock and squeezed it gently. The skin on the shaft was hot and smooth. I stroked it slowly, moving the foreskin back and forth, spreading the moisture that was leaking from the slit. He tried to thrust up into my hand, but the weight of my body kept him from moving too much.

"J-Jasper," he begged. "Please…let me touch you too."

_Fuck yeah!_

Sitting back on my heels, I quickly unbuttoned and unzipped my shorts, freeing my cock. Long and thick with need, it bounced out impatiently pointing straight to Edward. I pulled off my shorts and tossed them on the floor. I was glad that I hadn't bothered with underwear today. Next, I reached for his jeans and briefs and tugged them down. He lifted his hips to allow me to pull them off. I tossed them along with his chucks into a pile on the floor.

If I thought Edward looked like a Greek deity with his clothes on, I was completely stunned seeing him bare. Nothing in my experience could compare with this. His cheeks were flushed and he was panting, staring at me with lust-filled eyes. His cock was not as thick as mine, but it was long, straight and beautiful lying on a bed of trimmed light brown curls. His sac was shaved clean and the pink tip of his penis peeked out seductively from its foreskin, glistening with copious amounts of precum. I stretched out my forefinger and touched it lightly, picking up a few drops of his nectar and bringing it to my lips.

_Just as I thought. Delicious._

He watched me suck my finger into my mouth and his eyes rolled back before they closed. I dropped my body back down on him, bringing my mouth to one of his pebbled nipples, swirling my tongue around it and sucking. With my thumb and forefinger, I squeezed and twisted the other nipple gently. Edward was gasping and writhing beneath me. I felt him opening his legs further as he ran his fingers through my hair.

I moved back up and began kissing him again. I could never get enough of his flavor. My hands went to his biceps, squeezing them. His hands were on my ass, holding me tightly against him. He pulled his knees up and placed his feet on the mattress on either side of me. This allowed me to bear down more on his groin and I heard him moan appreciatively. Our cocks, slick with precum, were trapped between our stomachs as we began thrusting, allowing them to slide against each other. The sensation was sublime.

After a few minutes, I began to move further down his body. I needed to taste this boy again. I kissed and licked my way down his jaw and neck. I paused when I reached his nipples, giving them each more attention with languid licks and soft bites. Edward continued to writhe and moan, tangling his fingers and pulling on my hair. I slowly ran my tongue along the depression down the center of his abdomen, dipping it into his navel and swirling it around.

"Ugh, Jasper!" he cried out. I looked up and saw him staring at me through heavy-lidded eyes silently begging me to continue.

Smiling, I continued licking my way along the soft hair leading to the place we both wanted me to be. I breathed in deeply, delighting in the scent of his musky arousal. His cock was stiff and swollen, the head almost purple. I could see the thick vein pulsing on the underside. I ran my nose down his shaft and along the center of his heavy sac, eliciting a stuttered whimper.

_Those noises are making me crazy._

After kissing my way to the crease between his left thigh and groin, I bit down gently. Edward tried to thrust upward, but I held his hips down with my hands. I continued to kiss my way up his firm thigh to the sensitive underside of his bent knee. When I reached the knee, I paused and pulled back to look at my lover. He mouth was slightly open and he was panting. His darkened green eyes were fixed on me and his cheeks were flushed deliciously.

I moved to the other knee and began slowly kissing my way down from its underside to the crease between his thigh and groin. As I neared his cock, I could see his stomach muscles contracting and his thighs quiver.

"Jasper, please," he begged, pulling on my hair.

_Nearly there, babe._

My neglected cock was throbbing. so I began grinding against the mattress for relief. I opened my mouth and sucked in one of his balls, pulling lightly on the wrinkled sac, relishing the sensation in my mouth. Letting it go, I lavished attention on the other testicle, sucking and swirling my tongue around it. I let it drop out of my mouth and then gave his sac a reverent kiss.

I looked up at Edward. His eyes were shut tightly and he had taken one hand off of my head and was running it up and down his torso.

_So fucking hot._

I licked my way up his length and then sucked just the head into my mouth, running my tongue around and under the foreskin pushing it back. Edward cried out and tried wriggling under my firm grip. I dipped my tongue into the slit savoring the taste.

"Jasper, Jasper, Jasper," he chanted.

I opened my mouth wide engulfing his cock down to its base. Edward moved his hands to either side of my head and pressed. I sucked hard as I pulled up on his shaft, pausing to swirl my tongue over the head before I dropped back down to the base again and swallowed. He gasped in ecstasy as I repeated my actions, moving up and down faster and faster.

He was right. It didn't take long before he reached his climax. A few minutes more bobbing up and down his length and he was crying out, releasing his salty essence into my mouth. I sucked hard swallowing it greedily, not wasting a drop. When I felt him softening, I released him and crawled back up pushing my tongue into his mouth. He hummed his appreciation when he tasted himself.

His eyes were closed and his face was flushed with beads of perspiration decorating his forehead and upper lip. His hairline was soaked, lying in clumps, and he was panting heavily with his mouth partly open. I had never seen anything more beautiful than post-coital Edward.

I lay down next to him with my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arm over his chest and my leg over his thighs. I could feel his heart pounding, echoing my own. When we had both calmed down a bit, I pulled up on my elbow and ran my eyes up and down his body, admiring every curve and line. I moved a stray lock of wet hair out of his eyes.

"You're so beautiful," I said, kissing his swollen lips gently.

He smiled, "Thank you. That was…I-I don't even have words to describe it." He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me down for another kiss. I opened my mouth to allow him to push his tongue in and explore. My fingertips glided down his abs to his thigh which I firmly gripped in my hand. I pressed my erection hard against his hip to relieve some of the pressure I was feeling.

He got the hint and reached down to touch me.

_Oh hell, that feels good._

"Your turn," he said, as he wrapped his hand around my cock and started stroking me.

My heart began to beat faster.

"Jesus, yesssss…," I hissed.

We continued to kiss. I pulled him up so that we were lying on our sides facing each other. I ran my hand down his smooth back to the lovely mounds of his ass. As he squeezed and stroked me, my fingers slipped into his crack and slid down until I felt that sweet puckered spot. I began teasing it by pressing against it and running the tip of my forefinger around it.

"Oh Jas…" he breathed.

"Does that feel good, baby?" I whispered.

He didn't answer but threw his head back and moaned. He was pumping me faster and I was beginning to feel a tightness in the lower part of my belly.

_Fuck._

"Edward," I groaned. "I'm going to come."

He yanked his hand away from me. "N-no," he panted. "Not this way."

I whimpered in confusion. "Wh-wh-what?" I wheezed.

"Not this way," he repeated, breathing heavily. "I need you. I need you inside me."

"Are you sure?" I asked. I didn't want him to regret anything we did.

Edward bit his lower lip and then ran his tongue seductively along the bottom. He nodded and then rolled on to his stomach opening his legs and giving me complete access.

I sat up on my heels, too stunned to say anything at first. He turned his head to look up at me.

"Please Jasper," he said softly.

"Tell me you have condoms and lube," I said, realizing suddenly that I had none with me.

"In the drawer," he motioned at the nightstand.

_Thank fuck._

I reached over and opened the drawer, blindly digging around until I found what I was looking for. I dropped the foil packet next to us on the bed. Wrapping my arms under his waist, I guided him up until he was on all fours. He turned his head to look at me.

_So beautiful._

Not one to waste time, I grabbed the lube and poured a generous amount on my hand and dribbled some down his crack. I rubbed my hands together to warm up the lube before I took his semi-hard cock into one, stroking it up and down while I used the forefinger of my other hand to gently press against the sensitive tissue of his entrance.

"Fuuuuuck…" He gasped, as I breached his tight ring of muscles. I felt him clench around my finger.

_Oh we will, darlin'. We will._

I slowly began pumping my finger in and out using the same rhythm to stroke his cock. As his muscles relaxed, I pumped faster and faster. Minutes later I added a second finger.

He winced and clenched, but I successfully distracted him from the pain by stroking his cock faster. A couple of minutes later, he had relaxed enough for me to continue finger-fucking him. When, my fingertips glided over his prostate, he cried out, arching his back and pushing his hips up wantonly.

"One more, baby," I warned as I pushed in a third finger. He gasped and I stilled for a minute until he relaxed. I leaned down and kissed the back of his neck as I started to pump my fingers again. Within a few minutes, he was pushing up again.

"Now, Jasper," he panted. "Please…"

I pulled out my fingers and heard him whimper. Grabbing the condom, I quickly tore off the foil and rolled it down my throbbing length. I trickled some lube on to my cock and gave myself a few firm strokes before settling on my heels behind him. Using my knees, I pushed his legs further apart to give me more access.

Putting one hand on his shoulder for balance, I grasped my cock with my other and placed it at his entrance. Using all of my restraint, I slowly began to push into him. When I had breached his ring of muscle with just the head of my cock, I paused.

"Tell me if I'm going too fast," I uttered. He nodded. His head was hanging down touching the pillow.

_So fucking tight!_

It had been a while for me too. His hole was so hot and so tight, it took every bit of concentration to not just thrust into him the way I wanted to. Slowly, bit by bit, I pushed my way in. I could feel sweat dripping down the sides of my face and onto my shoulders and his back. At last, I could feel that I was fully seated inside him. Now I waited for him to adjust to me.

It didn't take too long before he turned his head and gave me a small crooked smile. Without saying a word, he pushed back against me to let me know he was ready. I bent over and kissed him on the lips.

"Are you okay?" I asked, unsure.

"Yeah. I'm more than okay," he assured me.

I began to move slowly in and out, taking care not to hurt him. For a while all that could be heard was our mutual gasps and groans. The air was thick with the heady fragrance of sex. Edward's cock, which had fallen limp during my initial penetration, was now hard again. It was forming a small pool of precum on the bedspread below.

"More," he gasped, "Faster…harder."

I sat back on my heels, pulling him up with me until he was sitting on my lap with his back pressed against my chest. I lifted his hips and began thrusting hard and fast until I was literally pounding into him. Edward took his cock into his hand and began pumping it in time to my thrusts.

"That's right. Touch yourself. Oh baby, that is so fucking hot!" I exclaimed. "I'm so close now. How are you doing?"

"C-c-close," he stammered, breathlessly.

"Then come for me, darlin'," I pleaded.

He grunted and then screamed out a string of expletives. Streams of white cum spurted from his cock and painted the bedspread. His muscles clenched down on me hard, sending me into my own form of oblivion.

"Oh, fuck!" I screamed biting down on his shoulder while my cock pulsed and emptied into the condom deep inside him. We both collapsed on to the messy bedspread and laid there reveling in utter bliss.

After several minutes, I felt my cock softening. Holding on to the condom, I gently pulled out. Edward sighed. I took the condom off and tied the end.

"That was amazing." Edward chuckled softly, turning his body around to face me.

"You're amazing," I whispered, smiling at him. I looked at the bite mark I made on his shoulder. The impressions of my teeth were clearly visible. Though the skin was not broken, he was definitely going to have a bruise. "I'm sorry I bit you."

"You did?" he asked, surprised. He turned his head to see the mark and then grinned. "I didn't even feel it."

_Damn, he's adorable._

"Where's your bathroom?" I asked, looking around.

"Over there," he said pointing to a closed door several feet away.

I kissed his forehead. "I'll be back," I promised and rolled out of the bed carrying the used condom so I could dispose of it.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when I entered the bathroom. Everything looked very old. The counter was a mosaic tile similar to the kitchen; the toilet was very utilitarian with no lid and a tank that was several feet above the bowl; but it was the bathtub that piqued my interest. It was a claw footed tub that looked large enough for two. I could just imagine what kinds of fun Edward and I could have in there.

I dropped the used condom in the trash can and opened the wall cabinet. Several fluffy white towels were folded and stacked neatly inside. I took down a washcloth and wet it with hot water from the sink. After I wrung it out, I took it back into the room to get my boy cleaned up.

I gently and thoroughly wiped the cum and extra lube off his body and the bedspread, threw the washcloth on the floor and pulled the covers back for us.

"Thank you," he murmured, kissing me. We climbed in and spooned our bodies with him on the inside and me on the outside. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face into the back of his neck breathing in deeply. It had started raining outside and I could hear the pitter-patter of the raindrops hitting the roof. Everything felt so right for once. We both yawned simultaneously and within a few minutes fell into a blissful slumber.

I was a little confused when I opened my eyes again. I didn't know where I was at first. Then it all came back to me.

_Edward._

The sheets next to me were cold. Edward was no longer in the bed and I sat up to look around. The light in the kitchen was on and I could see him moving around. There was a savory aroma of garlic in the air and my stomach began to growl unhappily. Looking at my watch, I noticed it was 6:30.

"Edward?" I called.

"In here," he answered. "Are you hungry? My mom brought over some lasagna and I'm heating it up."

"Sounds great," I said, getting out of bed. I picked up my clothes and flip flops and put them on before wandering over to the kitchen. Edward was busy chopping vegetables for a salad, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. My cock twitched appreciatively.

_Fuck! What that boy does to me._

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I noticed the bite mark on his shoulder as I rested my head next to it.

_I didn't mean to mark him, but it looks really hot._

"Need any help?" I murmured.

He turned his head and I gave him a quick peck on the lips. He smiled at me sweetly.

"You can set the table," he suggested. "Dishes are in the cabinet and flatware is in the drawer," he added, pointing them out.

He brought the bowl to the table and said, "I'll be right back. I'm gonna put some clothes on."

"Don't do that on my account," I commented.

He chortled and turned to walk back to the bed, wiggling his ass the entire way.

Half an hour later, we had devoured half a pan of lasagna, a large bowl of salad and two beers each. I sat back in my chair and sighed in contentment.

"Your mother's a great cook," I told him, patting my stomach. "Does she cook for you often?"

"Not nearly enough," he chuckled. "But she's taught me a little. I can get by on my own."

"So what made you get into the coffee shop business?" I asked, conversationally. I wanted to know more about him.

Edward sighed and looked at me sadly. "Like I told you, this place used to belong to my grandmother. When she died, Mom and Aunt Emily, Alice's mom, inherited it. Since Aunt Emily lives so far away, she sold her share to my mom. Anyway, after Riley died, I didn't want to keep living in our apartment. There were too many memories. I didn't want to move home and I didn't want to go back to school either. In fact, I was a bit lost." He paused and looked away. I got the feeling he decided not to elaborate. "Mom and Dad offered this place to me rent free and helped me open up the coffee shop. It was a way to keep me busy and get my mind off of what had happened."

"Did it help?" I asked.

"Yeah, a bit. It was really only supposed to be for a year, but I've really enjoyed doing it and I'm not ready to go back to school." Edward stood up and collected our plates to take to the sink. I followed him carrying in the leftovers and glasses.

"Did they ever catch the guys that attacked you?" I asked him as he started rinsing the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher.

He looked up at me and shook his head. "No. I can't remember what they looked like. I just remember that there were two of them. The police couldn't find any other witnesses."

_Fuck! Why'd I have to bring all this up?_

"I'm sorry, Edward," I apologized. "That was none of my business. I shouldn't have brought it up."

He shrugged and continued to load the dishwasher. I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. I needed some space.

"I've got to head out now. I'm surprised Garrett hasn't been calling. I'm supposed to load our stuff up into my truck and haul it over to the club by nine. You're coming tonight, right?" I suddenly worried that he might consider this a one-time hookup. I really wanted to see him again.

He closed the dishwasher and wiped his hands on a dish towel. He took a moment to consider his answer and replied, "I wasn't planning on it, but if you want me to be there, I will."

I broke into a wide grin. "I definitely want you to be there."

He smiled and leaned over to peck me on the lips. I wasn't having that, though. I needed more contact. I pulled him to me and hugged him tightly. I deepened the kiss and heard his soft moan.

_That's better._

"I'll see you tonight, darlin'," I said, winking at him. We held hands as we walked down the stairs and to the front door. He opened the door and we kissed again and said our good-byes. I saw him watching from the window as I climbed into my truck and started the engine. I waved to him and pulled out my cell to call Garrett.

"Hello," answered an unfamiliar female voice. At first I thought I had dialed the wrong number, but checking my phone, I saw that the number was correct.

"Is…is Garrett around?" I asked warily.

"Hi Jazzy!" She exclaimed. "He's in the shower. Wanna leave a message?"

"Alice?"

_What is she still doing there?_

"The one and only," she announced proudly.

"Will you tell him that I'm on the way back?" I asked, curiosity burning in my mind.

"Sure thing," she replied.

"Thanks. See ya." As I hung up I suddenly put two and two together.

_Garrett, you devil, you._

I drove off with a huge smile plastered on my face.

I flipped on the radio and heard the voice of Elton John singing "Your Song". I couldn't help but laugh out loud as I joined him.

_**I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss  
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross  
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song  
It's for people like you that keep it turned on**_

_**So excuse me forgetting but these things I do  
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue  
Anyway the thing is what I really mean  
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen**_

_**And you can tell everybody this is your song  
It may be quite simple but now that it's done  
I hope you don't mind  
I hope you don't mind that I've put down in words  
How wonderful life is while you're in the world**_

_He's right. Life might just be fucking wonderful._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Nods go to my beta, **BbEyedGirl**, for turning this chapter around so quickly. You're the best darlin'.

**Disclaimers: **All Twilight characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer and any Twilight movie references are owned by Summit Entertainment, et al.

I have never been to the EMP Liquid Lounge in Seattle, WA. When I chose it as my setting I did not realize that it was affiliated with the Science Fiction Museum. I chose the Liquid Lounge as my setting because there is one in my hometown. Foolishly, I thought they would look similar to each other. Consequently, I decided to describe the inside of the club in generic terms. If you have visited the EMP Liquid Lounge, please forgive me and allow me a little artistic license.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

As I picked up my guitar, my eyes swept across the audience one more time before the club's lights were dimmed. He didn't come. I didn't have a right to be so disappointed. It's not like he actually promised; and even if he did, that promise couldn't have meant much. We only met a few hours ago. Nevertheless, the disappointment in not seeing him weighed down on me.

"…_if you want me to be there, I will." So why isn't he here?_

True to her word, Alice and a few of her friends showed up at the club early to stake out a few tables near the stage and placed hand written "Reserved" signs on them. By now, the tables that she'd reserved were full of her friends, babbling noisily and drinking freely from pitchers of beer that Alice had Cam place at each table. I wanted to ask her if she'd heard from Edward, but I decided against it. I didn't want to sound so pitifully desperate.

_Earlier I sneaked up behind her and greeted her by wrapping one arm around her waist. "Wow, Little Bit! How many people did you talk into coming tonight?" I asked, carefully maintaining a neutral disposition._

_She always giggled whenever I called her by the nickname I'd given her. "Oh, I can't remember. A lot!" She looked up at me with her sparkling green eyes._

_Same color as Edwards…_

"_I see Garrett's already found your guy over there." She pointed with her chin to a booth against the wall where Garrett and Peter were chatting up a smartly-dressed older man sporting a longish blond ponytail._

"_Hmmm, he's here a lot earlier than I expected," I mumbled._

"_He's not only here to listen to Charmed Trick," she said, sagely as she turned to look me in the eyes. "He wants to hear you play."_

"_What makes you so sure?" I asked._

_She tapped her temple. "I just know," she stated._

I was startled back to the present when Garrett asked loudly, "Where's my capo?" He was looking frantically through his guitar case.

"I have another one," I offered, tossing him my extra.

He took a deep breath. "Thanks, Jasper. You saved my life, dude."

_Shake it off and concentrate, Whitlock._

I glanced back at James Jager. He held a drink in one hand and had his head cocked listening to someone who had joined him in his booth. Unfortunately, the club's lighting had now been dimmed and it was impossible to make out the person's features.

Just then, Emmett bounced up on stage and made his way over to the drum set. For such a big guy, Emmett, was amazingly light on his feet.

"Rosie couldn't make it," he grumbled angrily as he passed me.

"Why?" I asked, surprised.

"Stomach flu…or Garrett's burgers." He emphasized the last two words and looked at Garrett accusingly.

"Hey," Garrett replied defensively, "No one else is sick!"

Peter and I laughed at the glare Emmett was bestowing on Garrett. After a few seconds though, his face broke into a huge grin.

"Gotcha!" he laughed, pointing at Garrett.

"Come on. Stop fuckin' around. Are we ready?" I asked grateful that Emmett had lightened my mood. Everyone nodded and I started to count. "Okay then. One…two…three…"

With that, we launched into the first song of our set, an appropriate little number we called "Alone, Alone". I moved my head next to Garrett's as we crooned into the mic in perfect harmony. My eyes were closed in concentration, so I almost lost it when I opened them and caught a glimpse of a bronze head bobbing its way over to Alice's table. I took a step backwards to steady myself. Garrett gave me a worried expression, but I smiled at him in reassurance.

The relief I felt astonished me. It was as though a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I shook my head to clear it and get myself back into the music.

_Why was it so important to me that he came?_

As she promised, Alice and her gang cheered and clapped loudly after every song. Occasionally, they would sing along with the lyrics or begin dancing next to their tables. They were obviously enjoying the show. Forty minutes later, Garrett took the mic and announced that we were going to take a twenty minute break. We hopped down off the stage and headed in different directions. Peter went to talk to Charlotte who was sitting alone in the back of the club. Emmett and Garrett walked over to Jager's booth. Jager was waving them over and seemed eager to talk which, I guessed, was good news.

Not wanting to appear too needy, I decided to get a drink at the bar before walking over to Alice's table. As I waited for Cam to pour me a double whiskey, I glanced back. Edward was gripping a mug of beer in one hand and chewing nervously on the thumbnail of his other hand. I could see the tip of his tongue peek out of his mouth every now and then.

_Is it possible to be jealous of a thumbnail?_

I shook my head to clear it as Cam handed me my drink. Edward suddenly noticed that I was looking at him and dropped his hand to the table, smiling shyly. I felt a certain sense of excitement as I smiled back and mouthed 'Hey'.

"Go get him, Tiger." Cam whispered with a huge smile. I blushed and started walking, never taking my eyes off of Edward.

"Hi everyone!" I greeted when I finally reached their table. I grabbed an empty chair from another table and pulled it over to sit by Edward. My thigh pressed against his as I scooted in close and I felt my dick twitch. It knew what it wanted. After exchanging niceties with everyone, I turned to look at the beautiful creature sitting patiently beside me.

"You're late," I admonished him jokingly. I swirled the amber liquid in my glass and took a sip.

He stifled a laugh. "I had a clothing malfunction at the last minute."

I raised my eyebrow in question. Alice and a girl named Jessica snickered.

"What he means is that the clothes he wanted to wear didn't work," Alice told me. "If he hadn't been riding to the club with Jessica who thankfully helped him find something decent to wear, there's no way we would have let him sit with us."

"You're an evil little demon. You know that?" Edward chuckled, but I could see the flush of embarrassment creeping up his neck.

_Adorable._

I sat back and appraised him thoroughly. He was wearing a pair of snug dark wash jeans and a red, white and black plaid cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. The shirt was open and he was wearing a tight black wife beater which revealed the shape of his pectorals underneath. I could make out the outline of his nipples and I desperately wished I could run my fingertips up and down his chest to feel those little nubs.

_Later, I hope._

"Nice outfit," I complimented.

"Thanks," he replied, grinning. "I'm not as fashion conscious as Alice thinks I should be."

"Are we even sure that you're gay?" she asked him with a serious look. Jessica giggled.

Edward looked pointedly at her and replied, "Short stuff, there's no doubt about it."

All of us burst into laughter. After it died down, I looked him in the eye. "I need a smoke. Want to join me outside?"

Edward smiled broadly and nodded. I gulped down the rest of my drink and we stood up.

"Remember, boys. Public sex is against the law." Alice reminded us with a snicker.

Edward blushed and rolled his eyes, pushing me forward towards the club door.

Seattle's smoking ban was infuriating. Not only was I not permitted to smoke inside the bar, I also had to be over twenty-five feet from a door or window. This meant that I had to walk down to my truck in the parking lot in order to be far enough away to light up. However, I was glad to be away from the club so that I could spend some alone time with Edward.

The night air was damp but cool and breezy. I felt invigorated by the walk. As we chatted on the way, I noticed his eyes darting around nervously. His face didn't betray any insecurity, but I remembered his story about being attacked while walking to his car.

_Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you, babe._

I took his hand and squeezed it to give him a non-verbal reassurance that he was safe with me. He looked down at our hands and smiled sweetly. I could feel the muscles in his arm relax as we walked.

To distract him, I asked him about modeling for Jessica earlier in the evening. He admitted being embarrassed having to try on six different outfits for her before leaving for the club. He said they left his closet a chaotic mess. He thought he'd had a rough evening until I told him about the scenario I walked into when I got home.

_When I stepped into the house, Alice and Garrett were sitting on the couch. Well, actually, Garrett was sitting on the couch. Alice was straddling and grinding into Garrett's lap. Their mouths were locked together, Garrett was shirtless and his hands were squeezing her ass. They were obviously in middle of an epic make out session. It made me wonder what else they'd been up to all this time. They couldn't have just been kissing the entire time._

_They hadn't heard me come in…or if they had, they didn't care. I cleared my throat loudly to let them know I was in the room. They broke apart and turned to look at me._

"_Hi Jasper," Garrett greeted me with a huge smile. He let out a soft moan as Alice continued to shift her hips on his lap._

"_Hey Jazzy. Did you have fun at Edward's today?" she asked with a sly grin. She had her hands buried in Garrett's hair and was nibbling on his earlobe._

"_Oh yeah," I replied, dryly, "I just had a ball."_

"_Just one?" Garrett asked with a wicked grin. He and Alice burst into laughter. After saluting them with my middle finger, I banished myself to my bedroom. I stayed in there until I heard the distinctive sound of Alice's car driving away about fifteen minutes later._

Edward groaned. "Well, you left yourself open for that one."

"I know," I admitted. "I just wasn't thinking very clearly. That's a typical Garrett wisecrack. She had answered his phone earlier, so I suspected something was up. However, I didn't expect to walk in on them like that. Did you know they were…interested in each other?"

"Right before we left, she mentioned that she wanted to stay and hang out with him. I thought she was just saying that so I'd have no choice but to ride home with you." Edward said with a sheepish grin. "Actually, I'm happy for Alice. She's always trying to fix other people up. I'm glad she was able to find someone for herself."

When we reached my truck, I unlatched the tailgate so that we could climb up and sit. Once we were settled, I pulled out my cigarettes and lighter from my pocket. I lit up and took a drag. Edward suddenly seemed very quiet. His face was a picture of serious contemplation. I waited a few moments before I said anything.

_His mood swings are giving me whiplash._

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours?" I asked him, lifting my hand and smoothing the furrow between his eyes with my finger.

"Jasper," he said looking into my eyes, "Do you think maybe we rushed things a bit today? I mean I'm not blaming you for anything. It was my fault. Really it was. It's been so long for me. I'm sorry. It's just that…well, I don't want you to think that I'm like that. I don't usually jump into bed with someone I just met. I'm not a man-whore. Damn It. I'm babbling, aren't I?"

I raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "A little bit. Yeah. Are you regretting things?"

He stared intently at me. The lights from the parking lot bathed his features in harsh gray shadows, but his eyes were clear green pools. He shook his head, "No. I'll never regret it. I just don't want you to think that all I want is sex."

"Listen; if you think you seduced me, you're wrong. If anything, I was the one that pushed you. I think we both needed the release. Now we can relax and get to know each other." I assured him cupping his cheek with my hand. He leaned his head into it and closed his eyes. "I really want to know you better, Edward."

I took one more long drag from my cigarette and then flicked it over the side of the truck. I looked around for any curious passers-by before I scooted myself closer to him and said, "C'mere gorgeous."

He closed the gap between us and our lips met. I could taste the beer on his breath, but the smell was strawberries, honey and 100% Edward. His lips were soft and moist. I pressed closer to deepen the kiss. I was finally able to run my hand up and down his chest. His nipples were like hard little pebbles, and I couldn't stop myself. I squeezed and twisted them through the fabric of the shirt. Edward moaned softly in appreciation. After a few minutes, I pulled back and pressed my forehead against his.

"Tomorrow let's make plans to go on a real date." I suggested. "Does that sound like something you'd want to do?"

"Yeah. I'd like that a lot." He concurred with a whisper.

"Right now we need to get back before Peter sends out a search party," I warned, chuckling. He nodded in agreement and we hopped off the truck. I turned around to close the tailgate.

"That Peter's a real cockblocker," Edward pouted.

I laughed. "It sure seems that way." When I turned around, I found myself only a few inches away from him. He threw his arms around me and pushed me up against the truck urgently. Crashing his lips against mine, I could feel his erection pressing against my thigh. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him hard before pulling away.

"Edward," I gasped, "We really do need to get back."

He laid his head on my shoulder and sadly conceded. "Okay."

I threaded my fingers through his and we started walking back. There was a definite bounce in my step. I couldn't understand how I had managed to get so lucky. I made up my mind to send Alice some flowers or candy tomorrow.

When we stepped into the club things seemed pretty subdued. We went straight over to Alice's table and sat down. I suddenly felt very thirsty so I grabbed the pitcher and poured us a couple of mugs of beer.

Edward looked around and asked, "Where's Garrett and the other guys?"

I sipped on the beer as my eyes travelled around the room. Garrett and Emmett were still sitting with Jager and seemed to be engaged in an animate conversation. Garrett was gesticulating with his hands as he spoke and I smiled.

_I don't know if Garrett could talk if he didn't have hands._

I could see the other guy sitting at the end of the booth with them now that the lights in the club were turned up. He was an attractive man, olive-skinned with long, curly black hair and a goatee. He was muscular and tall, judging from the shape of his outstretched legs. He had crossed them at the ankles and appeared very relaxed although his face sported a bored expression. He didn't seem to be listening to the conversation between Jager, Garrett and Emmett and it suddenly occurred to me that his eyes had been focused in our direction for several minutes. I wanted to turn away, but I couldn't.

Just then Jager looked over too. He smiled, but the smile he gave us looked more like a leer. It was creepy.

Edward casually turned his head, following my line of sight. I heard a faint hitch in his breathing. My eyes shot over to him.

"I know him," he said so softly I could barely hear him. He quickly turned his head back to us.

"You do?" Alice and I asked at the same time.

"He's been in the shop before," Edward quietly informed us. He was looking down at his beer mug and I got a weird vibe that something was bothering him. That little furrow between his eyes was there again.

"Oh crap! Is he the guy…," Alice began and then stopped when Edward glared at her.

"What about him?" I asked, looking at Alice. She was staring at Edward who was looking down again.

"Nothing. He's just been in before. That's all," he answered, looking up with a tight smile.

_He's lying. Why would he lie?_

Before I could ask him anything else, Peter walked up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Come on. It's time, Jazz," he informed me, waving to Emmett and Garrett.

We made our way back up on stage to finish the set. Garrett winked and flashed me a business card in his hand.

"He gave us his card," he told me grinning. "He wants us to call him at his office tomorrow."

I stared at the card for a moment. "That's great," I said indifferently as I bent down to pick up my guitar.

"Show a little enthusiasm for fuck's sake," Garrett chided with a scowl. "It means he's really interested."

"Sorry. I'm excited. I really am." I replied, trying to convince myself as well. Garrett was unimpressed. I could tell he was angry.

Peter who had been watching us with concern, asked, "Are you guys ready to start?"

"Yeah sure," I answered. Garrett said nothing, but turned towards the audience.

Peter nodded at us, started the count and we launched into the second part of our set. Luckily, Garrett and Peter were doing all of vocals for the second set of songs, so I stood behind them and simply tried to concentrate on playing. Not an easy task knowing Edward was in the room. Without my consent, my eyes were drawn to Alice's table every few minutes to drink in his beautiful smile. I had to admit, that smile energized me and lifted my mood. I forgot about Jager and the worried look I'd seen in Edward's eyes.

_He's gonna forget all about that other guy when I get him home tonight._

During our last song I noticed his chair was empty. I scanned the room, but couldn't see him. There was no sign of him at the bar.

_He wouldn't leave without saying good bye, would he?_

I then noticed that Jessica was still sitting across from Alice. He rode to the club with Jessica.

_I guess he could have called a taxi. No, he's here somewhere._

I chastised myself for being so needy. He had a business to run and coffee shops open up pretty early in the morning. It actually made sense that he'd leave a little early.

_Why wouldn't he have mentioned it though?_

When the song finally ended, the crowd erupted in cheers and applause. I usually felt elated by this kind of attention, but I could barely muster a smile and wave to them. Garrett still looked peeved and I sensed a wave of guilt lap over me.

_I hate it when he's mad at me. I'll find a way to make it up to him._

I took my time putting my guitar in its case before hopping off the stage and slowly making my way over to Alice.

"Did Edward leave?" I asked her in the coolest voice I could summon.

She seemed surprised by my question, almost as though she had completely forgotten about him. "No. He just went to the restroom," she said looking around with concern. "Actually, he's been gone for a while now. You wanna check on him? I hope he's not puking. Edward's not much of a drinker."

As she spoke, I glanced over at Jager's table and noted that his companion was also missing. A sick sensation suddenly swept over me like a tide.

_Was it Jager or the other guy that Edward was talking about? Fuck!_

"I'll go look for him," I offered. Not waiting for her reply, I spun around quickly and walked quickly to the back of the club where the men's room was located. I'd been in there many times before. It wasn't a single. It was a regular restroom with a couple of stalls. So it confused me when I found that the door was locked. I rattled the doorknob and I pounded on the door.

"Edward," I called out, "Are you in there?"

Just then Charmed Trick started playing, making it difficult to hear anything other than the music.

"Edward," I called again as loudly as I could, "It's me. Jasper. Open the door!" I pounded on the door and then put my ear against it, trying to listen for a response. That's when I thought I heard some banging and shuffling.

_Was that a whimper or was it my imagination?_

I couldn't take a chance. My heart was beating so hard I thought it was going to come up my throat.

"EDWARD!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, "ANSWER ME! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" I was getting frantic. I began pounding on the door with all my strength. Even through the loud music, I elicited some attention from the patrons near the back of the club. A couple of minutes later, Emmett and Peter appeared at my side.

"What's going on, Jazz?" Emmett asked.

I stopped pounding on the door and looked at them. I was breathing hard and I could feel heat radiating from my cheeks. Sweat trickled down the sides of my face and neck. My fists were numb. Judging from the look on their faces, I must have resembled a lunatic.

"It's Edward," I gasped. "He's locked inside. I don't know what's wrong. He won't answer me."

"Are you sure he's in there?" Peter asked eyeing me skeptically.

I felt my temper flare, but I kept myself in check. I needed their help.

_Don't blame him. It's a legitimate question._

I simply nodded.

"Get out of the way, Jazz," Emmett ordered as he stepped back. He drew up his right leg and with one powerful kick knocked the door completely off its hinges. He and Peter pushed ahead of me, moving the door aside and stepping into the restroom. A little stunned, I stumbled behind them and then froze in horror. Edward was lying face down on the floor by the first stall. His head was turned towards us. I could see that his lip was bleeding and his shirt and black wife beater were torn at the neck. Standing over him glaring at us was Jager's dark-haired companion.

"EDWARD!" I screamed out. He opened his eyes and looked our way, but didn't move. Turning my attention back to his attacker, my breath hitched.

My first thought was that he was huge. Standing at least a few inches taller than Emmett, he cast an intimidating glare at us. Anger was smoldering in his eyes. His arms were at his sides and he had his hands balled into fists.

Emmett and Peter stepped menacingly towards him, but he stood his ground like an animal protecting its prey. His lip curled up into a snarl.

"FUCK OFF!" He yelled. He viciously kicked Edward in the ribs, eliciting a loud groan. "This bastard killed my brother!"

Emmett and Peter attacked, but he grasped an overhead pipe and used his legs to knock them both away, connecting with Peter's chest and Emmett's head. They fell backwards to the ground.

I couldn't take it anymore. Before I even knew what was happening, I found myself rushing forward and swinging wildly at him.

Like a pesky fly, the monster simply swiped me away and I felt a sharp pain when my eyebrow struck the corner of the sink counter. I felt warm blood trickling down my face. I sat up and watched dizzily as a violent fight unfolded in front of me.

Emmett and Peter had quickly recovered and had the man down on the ground. Fists were flying everywhere. I couldn't say they were winning, though. The monster seemed to be holding his own despite being outnumbered.

"STOP! FELIX! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!"

I turned my head and noticed that Jager had pushed his way through the throng of people crowding the doorway. His face was contorted in anger. He stomped over to the pile of bodies on the floor and reached out to pull Felix up. When Felix was upright, he pushed him up against the stall. Felix didn't flinch. He didn't seem to have a scratch on him.

"Go home, now! I'll talk to you tomorrow." Jager ordered. Felix squared his shoulders and gave Jager a nasty sneer before pushing himself past the crowd at the door and out of the room.

Jager helped Emmett and Peter up. I stood up on my own, although my legs felt a little wobbly. Edward had scooted back against the wall and seemed to be stunned. I stumbled over and knelt down beside him.

"Are you okay?" I asked him quietly.

He didn't answer me or look at me. He simply blinked and continued to stare off into space. Peter brought me some damp paper towels and I dabbed the blood off of his lip gently. His right eye was swelling up and he had another small cut on his forehead. A large swelling was forming under the cut.

"I called 911," I heard Cam announce. "Cops and ambulance will be here soon."

This seemed to get Edward's attention. He stood up quickly and almost stumbled forward. I jumped up and wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him.

"I-I need to go h-home," he stuttered, trying to take a step toward the door.

"Hold up," I demanded, "You're not going anywhere 'til you get checked out. That's a nasty bump on your head."

"N-no cops," he said, shaking his head. The sudden motion caused him to sway erratically, but I held him tight to keep him from falling. He resisted, but I was finally able to pull him back down on the floor.

Alice pushed her way in with four Ziploc bags of crushed ice for our bruises.

"What the fuck happened?" she cried out, tears welling in her eyes. She knelt down in front of Edward and pressed a bag of ice on his eye. Wrapping one arm around his neck, she kissed him on top of the head.

"That guy, Felix, attacked Edward, but I don't know why," I answered her. We both looked at Edward, but he was staring into space again. "Alice, who is he? Why would he want to hurt Edward?"

She looked at Edward, then at me and then up and around us. Peter, Emmett and now Garrett were standing over us waiting for her answer. "It's not my place to say. He needs to tell you," she replied.

"Edward," she called him, shaking his shoulder to get his attention. He responded by bowing his head and burying it in his hands.

"This is bullshit, Alice! Tell us!" I demanded.

Staring at Edward, she sighed and nodded in defeat. "Fine. Felix Biers is Riley's half-brother. He's been harassing Edward for months. He blames him for Riley's death."

_What?_

"Riley came out to his family while he and Edward were together," she continued. "They were not thrilled with the news, to say the least. They think Edward turned Riley gay." She stopped for a moment and shook her head before continuing. "I know. It's pure ignorance, but that guy really believes that if Riley had never met Edward, he'd still be alive. He blames Edward because he has no one else to blame."

"So what does he want from Edward?" I asked, still reeling in shock. "It's not like Edward can bring Riley back to life."

"He and his family tried to sue Edward for wrongful death, but it was thrown out," she said angrily. "He really wants Edward to go to jail, but that's not going to happen. Edward was a victim too. He told Edward that he wants him to die too."

_Fuck! I thought I had problems._

Edward lifted his head up. "Alice, I don't want to think about this anymore. Please take me home," he pleaded softly.

Before she could answer him, the paramedics pushed their way through the crowd of on-lookers. The police arrived shortly after that. They made the crowd leave and we spent over an hour giving statements to them while being treated for our cuts and bruises.

Besides the laceration over my eyebrow, I was fine. They sealed it up with a couple of butterfly bandages. Emmett and Peter just had bruises and minor cuts.

The paramedics spent most of their time examining Edward. The dizziness he was experiencing was worrying. They insisted that he go to the hospital despite his protests. They were fairly certain that he had a concussion and told him that he needed an X-ray to make sure it wasn't anything worse. They also mentioned that he might have a bruised or cracked rib.

Alice and Garrett went with him in the ambulance and the rest of us agreed to follow as soon as we were done giving our statements. Edward groaned when she told him that she'd called his parents to meet us at the hospital.

"They're going to worry over nothing," he whined.

"Stop being such a baby. They'd be pissed if I didn't tell them and you know it." Alice insisted.

I glanced at my watch. It was nearly 4 in the morning. As we were walking out of the restroom, I overheard Jager tell the police that Felix was an executive for Jager Records and that he had sent Felix home to cool off. He vouched that their lawyer would accompany Felix to the police station in the morning to give a statement. The police seemed a bit dubious, but after Jager cajoled them for several minutes they finally agreed to his terms.

I could tell we were all exhausted by the way we trudged down the sidewalk. When we reached the parking lot, I said, "Look, it's late. You don't need to go to the hospital with me. Go home. Emmett, Rose is waiting. She'll be worried."

Peter and Charlotte sighed and nodded in relief. Peter gave me a one-armed hug and Charlotte kissed me on the cheek.

"Good night, Jasper. Call us later and let us know what happened," she ordered.

"I will," I agreed smiling weakly. They turned and walked to their car. Emmett stayed put, staring at me sadly with his huge brown eyes.

"I'm fine Emmett," I insisted, answering his unspoken question. "Go home. There's nothing you can do right now. I'll call you later on. Okay?"

After a few seconds, he nodded in agreement and squeezed my shoulder. "You'd better call or I'll sic Rosie on you," he threatened jokingly. I smiled my consent and he got into his Jeep. "Later today…," he added for emphasis.

"Later today." I agreed, waving at him.

I walked a few more steps to my truck and climbed in. Taking a deep and shaky breath, I laid my head against the steering wheel and let the quiet of the cab calm me for a few minutes. When I felt more relaxed, I turned the ignition, started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot. As I drove to the hospital, I went over the events of the day.

"_I really want to know you better, Edward." That's what I had told him, but I certainly didn't expect this._

_

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_

**A/N: Well, there you have it. I hope I didn't disappoint you with the lack of citrus, but the boys really do need to get to know each other better. No guarantee that they'll be able to control their impulses next chapter, though.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thank you **BbEyedGirl**,for being my wonderful beta, braving the flu and RL events so that I could get this chapter posted.

"**Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs." - CHARLOTTE BRONTE, **_**Jane Eyre**_

There should be no place in this world for hate and violence. A link that provides more information about Violence Against Gays and Lesbians can be found on my profile page.

**Disclaimers: **All Twilight characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer and any Twilight movie references are owned by Summit Entertainment, et al.

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**Chapter 4**

I'd been spending a lot of time on the roof the last few nights trying to make sense of everything that had happened. As I lay stretched out on the cool shingles, I watched the moon peek out for brief seconds from behind a veil of clouds. Its glow illuminated the tips of the surrounding pine trees before it shyly hid its face again. A light mist had settled around me like a soft, but chilly and damp blanket. I told myself that I needed to climb down and get into my warm, dry bed, but my body resisted. I just couldn't move.

Two weeks. Two fucking weeks. He wouldn't return my phone calls or texts. Alice gave me his number that night at the hospital, but a lot of good it did since he wasn't responding. She said he was recuperating at his parents' house and admitted that he'd been ignoring her calls too. Any information she did have came from Esme. I guess she was trying to make me feel better. It didn't work. I groaned and pulled my hair from pure aggravation.

_Is he angry? Is he blaming me for asking him to go to the club? After all, if he hadn't gone he wouldn't have run into Felix._

_Damn it! I need to talk to him!_

Alice reported that he had a couple of bruised ribs and a mild concussion. He was on pain medication and needed rest, but that wouldn't keep him from using a phone. I have never been so frustrated. I liked him…and I thought he liked me.

I thought about him all day and dreamed about him all night. My days were filled with memories brimming over with the sound of his laughter, the crinkles in the corners of his eyes when he smiled, the taste of his soft plump lips, the pink flush on his chest and face when he came, the feel of warm satin covering his hard cock and the scent of his thick, silky hair. Those memories kept me awake at night longing for him. When I would finally pass out from exhaustion, my dreams were filled with nightmares: his cries for help, his bruised and bleeding body drifting away and out of reach, Felix sneering at me holding a blood smeared knife. I would wake soaked in sweat and panting, crying silently into my pillow.

Out of desperation, I stopped by the coffee shop a few days ago hoping he would be there. He wasn't there, but I did meet a couple of students from the university, Angela and Ben. They weren't taking any classes during the summer so they were able to take over the responsibility of opening and closing the shop. I don't know why I was so surprised that Edward had employees. Someone had to be taking care of the shop. Unfortunately, neither could tell me anything I didn't already know and they weren't even sure when he'd be back. Nevertheless, I left a message with them to have him call me the next time they saw him. They did tell me that Esme stopped in daily to collect the receipts and pay bills.

_Esme._

I thought about waiting around for her to ask her if Edward was avoiding me. She'd been so kind to me before. But I hesitated, worried that my anxious tone might sound to her like the ranting of a stalker. Like a coward, I left the coffee shop and drove around Seattle aimlessly.

I closed my eyes as my mind drifted back to that night at the hospital.

_The buzzing from a flickering fluorescent light overhead was giving me a headache and making me nauseous. The linoleum on the floor was covered with grimy footprints and the smell of disinfectant was overpowering. The room was filled with anxiety. There were people groaning and moaning in pain and children crying helplessly. I hated hospitals. My stomach turned over thinking about Edward's injuries. I contemplated going to the restroom and throwing up just to get it over with._

_Garrett and I had been stuck sitting in the ER waiting room on some uncomfortable plastic chairs for about 20 minutes. The hospital staff would only allow family to go in with Edward. Garrett told me that Edward had vomited and fainted during the ride to the hospital. The EMT told them that he probably had a concussion, but they wouldn't know for sure until he had a CT scan. When they got to the ER, Alice was allowed to go in with him. Garrett and I had to stay back. I didn't want to leave because I needed to know that he was going to be okay._

_I offered Garrett the keys to my truck so that he could go home and get some rest, but he insisted on staying with me, proving once again that he really was the best friend I've ever had. I pressed my head back against the wall and apologized for my crappy attitude earlier. He smiled and just waved me off. Without saying a word, he told me he understood._

_The automatic glass doors suddenly parted and I saw Esme frantically rushing in ahead of a man I assumed was her husband. Her caramel-colored waves had been hastily pulled back into a sloppy ponytail and she was not wearing makeup. I stood up and walked over to her quickly as she reached the reception counter. She glanced up and recognized me at once, throwing her thin arms around my neck. Glancing over her head, I noticed her husband appraise us suspiciously as he hastily strode around her to talk to the receptionist._

"_How is he?" she whispered, clinging to me tightly._

"_I'm not sure. Alice is with him now. They wouldn't let us go in." I complained._

"_Dr. Cullen." I heard the receptionist say. She picked up a clipboard with some papers attached and handed it to him. "He was only partially conscious when he was brought in so he couldn't fill these out. I hope you don't mind. Come right in. He's in the third bay. They're just about to take him up for a CT scan." I heard the buzz as she automatically unlocked the door for him._

"_Thanks Josie," he said, glancing at the paperwork on the clipboard. "Esme…" He placed his hand under her elbow to get her attention._

_She pulled away from me and I noticed her flushed cheeks, wet from her tears. Taking a deep breath, she turned to look at him and said, "Carlisle, this is Edward's friend, Jasper."_

_Looking directly into his face, I was startled. The resemblance to Edward was uncanny. The only difference was in coloring. Dr. Cullen had thick, straight blond hair and icy blue eyes. With a tight smile, he lifted his right hand and shook mine. "It's nice to meet you," he said cordially, but his tone and facial expression were less than warm. "If you'll excuse us, Jasper, we need to go check on our son now." He pulled his hand away and wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders, leading her away._

His cold demeanor unnerved me, but then I wondered if I was just being paranoid. Later, I asked Alice if Edward's father was a homophobe. She chuckled and shook her head.

"Actually Uncle Carlisle is a sweetheart when you get to know him. He's just really stressed out right now." She continued explaining that the whole situation was reminiscent of the night Edward and Riley were attacked. "It's not that he disapproves of Edward's sexual orientation. He's just concerned that Edward could get hurt again because of it."

_What if Dr. Cullen talked Edward into staying away from me?_

With that depressing thought weighing on me, I finally decided to climb off the roof and go to bed. My head was hurting and I didn't want to start worrying about what Edward's father thought of me. I carefully made my way down the ladder and tiptoed into the kitchen through the sliding glass door. All the lights in the house were out and it was completely silent. The clock on the kitchen stove read 3:16.

I tried to be as quiet as possible. In the last week, Alice had practically moved into Garrett's bedroom. Having her around was actually a lot of fun. She was bubbly and funny, but I was beginning to suspect the little firecracker was also a nymphomaniac. For that reason, I didn't want to wake them up. She and Garrett were constantly going at it. The sounds of whimpers, groans and cries coming from their bedroom at all hours had become distracting, to say the least. There's a big difference between watching porn on the internet and hearing your best friend knocking boots in the next room. I chuckled quietly.

_I'm really happy they found each other, but come on. How many times in a 24-hour period can a straight couple fuck? They're like rabbits. I'm sure they could hold a record with Ripley's Believe It or Not._

I stopped by the bathroom to piss and brush my teeth and then crept quietly into my bedroom, closing the door as softly as I could. I toed off my shoes, stripped down to my boxers and slid under the covers. Burying my head into my pillow, I allowed the darkness to envelop me and prayed that I would quickly fall into a dreamless sleep.

Of course, that didn't happen. Thinking about Alice and Garrett brought back my memories of that night at the hospital again.

_Alice came out a few minutes after Edward's parents went back to see him. Her face was drawn and tired-looking. We stood up to greet her as she flew across the room and threw herself into Garrett's strong arms._

"_Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme are arguing with Edward. They want Edward to press charges against Felix and Edward won't do it. I can't stand listening to them fight." Tears were streaming down her face._

"_Come sit down with us," I offered, stepping aside so that she could sit in my chair. She and Garrett sat down next to each other and she leaned her head into his shoulder, sobbing quietly._

"_Why won't he press charges?" I wanted to know._

_She shrugged. "I don't know. I think he just doesn't want any more trouble from Felix. He's afraid of him. He knows that the lawyer from Jager Records will get him off with a slap on the wrist."_

_I let out an involuntary growl. "Fucking bastards," I mumbled._

_Garrett reached into his pants pocket and pulled out the card that James had given him. He stared at it for a moment and then crumpled it up and threw it across the room._

"_Those assholes can go to hell," he said. "We'll find another label. If it's meant to happen, it will happen."_

_My jaw dropped open. I couldn't believe Garrett would do that._

"_You want us to take you home, babe?" he asked her, kissing the top of her head._

_She nodded, but then added, "Will you stay with me tonight?"_

_He gave me a questioning look. I gave him a tired smile and pulled the keys out of my pocket. Handing them to him, I said, "I'm gonna hang out here a little longer to see if they come out. If they don't in another thirty minutes, I'll call a cab. Both of you need to get some rest. It's been a long night."_

_Needless to say, they didn't come out and forty five minutes later I found myself trying to keep my eyes open as I sat in the back of a cab on my way home._

When I next opened my eyes, thin streams of sunlight carrying tiny flickers of dust motes trickled through narrow gaps in the curtains, spattering haphazardly on my duvet. I blinked several times and rubbed my eyes, trying to get my bearings. A glance at my bedside clock told me that it was 11 a.m.

_Today is Sunday, right?_

That was pathetic. I didn't even know what day it was. I stumbled out of bed, grabbed some clean clothes and made my way to the bathroom. As I stepped into the hall, I heard whispers and giggles coming from the kitchen along with the sound of pans banging around. The aroma drifting from that direction made my mouth water. I showered and hurried through my morning routine.

Minutes later, I was gliding into the kitchen unnoticed. Alice was standing at the counter barefoot and dressed in one of Garrett's old band shirts. The waffle iron was sizzling in front of her, but her eyes were closed and she was leaning back against Garrett's bare chest. He too was barefoot and dressed only in a pair of black boxer briefs. He had his arms wrapped around her waist and was nibbling on her neck. Behind him on the stovetop I could see steaming pans of scrambled eggs and fried bacon.

"Good morning," I said, startling them both.

"Oh," Alice squeaked. "Good morning, Jasper!" She began giggling.

Garrett smirked at me and nodded in greeting. He pulled away from Alice and turned around to take out some mugs from the cabinet. He quickly poured out three cups of coffee and handed one to me. I took the cup and he winked at me.

"I'd tell you to get a room, but you already have one." I said, grinning.

Alice tittered. "Want to join us for some breakfast?" Without waiting for an answer she took a plate, slipped a large waffle on it and passed it to me. "Bacon and eggs are on the stove. Help yourself."

I stepped over to the stove and added two slices of bacon to my plate. Then I plopped down on a chair at the table. Alice and Garrett followed shortly after and sat down with their food and coffee.

"So are we going for Naked Sunday Brunches at the Gunnison-Whitlock Inn these days?" I chuckled, "If so, I don't think I got the memo."

"Sounds like a plan to me. Am I turning you on, Jazz?" Garrett snickered, waggling his eyebrows.

Alice snorted.

"Actually, you are. You need to put a shirt on before I lose control and fuck you over this table." I replied, keeping my tone serious.

"He has a point baby," Alice cooed, running her fingertips up his chest. "You do look sexy this morning, but he's gonna have to fight me for the privilege."

I cringed and visibly shuddered. "Nevermind. Sorry I brought it up." I said, shaking my head.

They laughed at my obvious discomfort. Nevertheless, Garrett obliged and walked back to his room to put on a tee shirt. When he returned, we changed the subject and began discussing our plans for the day. Alice wanted to go shopping to get Garrett some new clothes. She was distressed that his closet was crammed with nothing but old tee shirts and torn jeans. She also thought his work clothes were boring. She said she'd be surprised if his high school students weren't making fun of him behind his back.

"I'll have you know that they think I'm pretty cool," he defended. "Some of them even come to our gigs."

"Hmmph…" she answered, rolling her eyes.

Personally, I didn't see a problem with his clothes, but I kept my mouth shut. I didn't need her appraising my wardrobe. When they asked what my plans were I told them I wanted to update my resume. I wanted to start looking for a job on Monday. Garrett raised an eyebrow in question but said nothing.

When we finished eating, he excused himself to go take a shower.

I watched Alice follow him with her eyes as he sauntered down the hall. As soon as we heard the bathroom door close behind him, she jumped up and danced to their bedroom. Figuring that I was left to clean up, I started stacking the plates and carrying them to the sink. Before I could turn back to collect the cups, she had returned with a triumphant smile on her face. She clutched my hand and placed a small folded scrap of paper into it.

I raised my eyebrows. "What is this?" I asked opening up the note.

"That is my aunt and uncle's address," She whispered. "Go to him. He really misses you, Jazz."

"Then why hasn't he called me back?" I countered, trying my best to stay calm.

She took both of my hands into hers and held them. Looking into my eyes sympathetically, she said, "I saw him yesterday. He's confused, Jasper, but he's also very lonely. Uncle Carlisle is speaking at a medical conference in Orlando starting tomorrow. My aunt and uncle left yesterday and won't be back until Wednesday afternoon. They asked me to stay at their house and keep an eye on him while they're gone."

"So why aren't you doing that?" I demanded.

"He needs company, not a babysitter. They still treat him like a child." She replied disapprovingly.

"How do I know he won't slam the door in my face when I get there? Did he tell you that he wants to see me?" I asked, cringing internally. I didn't know if I wanted to hear the answers.

"Well…not exactly," she hedged, "but I just know he won't shut you out once he sees you." She smiled and tapped her temple with her forefinger.

I bit my lip, hoping that she was right. Her green eyes gleamed with sincerity.

One necessary wank and one hour later, I found myself parked across the street from an enormous white mansion on the top of a hill in the Queen Anne area of Seattle. The entire neighborhood was teeming with beautiful homes. This house was the largest on the street.

_Damn. His parents must have a lot of money. My folks have money, but nothing like this._

It was intimidating sitting in my beat-up pickup truck. I sat staring at the imposing structure for at least fifteen minutes, too nervous to turn into the large circular drive. I chastised myself for being such a coward.

_Come on, Whitlock, grow a pair. The worse that can happen will be that he won't want to talk to you. Unfortunately, that __would__ be the worst thing ever. I have to convince him to talk to me._

Taking a deep breath, I started the engine and slowly turned left into the spacious driveway. I parked the truck and climbed out, shutting the door of the cab as quietly as I could. As I walked to the front door, it flew open.

I felt my heart skip a beat as my eyes drank in his slender figure. He walked out on to the expansive portico, staring at me with an unreadable expression. My mind went blank and my eyes were glued to his as I drifted towards him in a haze trying to remember what it was I needed to say. He didn't smile and he didn't say a word. He simply lifted his right hand and took mine when I reached him. Silently he pulled me into the house stepping backwards, his eyes never leaving mine. Once we entered the foyer, he reached around me to shut and lock the door. He entered a code into an alarm monitor on the wall. It beeped to signal that it was on. He sighed deeply and looked sadly at me.

_I guess it makes sense that he's a bit paranoid._

I was aware that we had entered an enormous foyer with a spectacular winding staircase, but I couldn't take the time to look around me. He was the only thing I could focus on. He leaned his left shoulder against the wall and stared back at me. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. His lips were dry and cracked.

He was barefoot and wearing a pair of blue and tan plaid pajama bottoms with a plain white tee shirt. I noticed that his thick bronze mane was in complete disarray with strands sticking up here and there. He had obviously been running his hand through it often. A heavy reddish scruff covered his jaw. His normally beautiful green eyes were blood-shot and had deep purple shadows ringed beneath them. A large, ugly bruise over his right eye showed signs of healing. The edges were blotched in sickly shades of yellow and green. Without my consent, the forefinger of my free hand automatically rose and began to trace its outline lightly.

"Does it hurt?" I asked, softly. Before he could answer me, I dropped my hand worrying that I might have caused him pain.

_If I ever see that fucker Felix again, I'm gonna kill him. _

He shook his head and let my other hand go. Once again, he looked as though he was about to say something but instead lowered his eyes to the floor. I bent down to look up into his face. His eyes were closed and he swallowed nervously.

_What the fuck! Say something!_

Suddenly all the emotion that I'd been holding back for the last two weeks bubbled forth. I needed answers now.

"Why haven't you returned my calls?" I demanded. My eyes and nose stung as I tried to hold back my tears. He shrank back slightly, shrugging his shoulders. "I've been fucking worried about you. Did you know that? Do you even care? Would it have hurt to pick up the fucking phone?"

My frustration was like a spring wound too tight. I could feel the pressure building in my chest. I needed to calm down. I tried taking several deep breaths to no avail. Seconds ticked by as Edward continued to stare at his feet. I wanted him to at least look at me. Maybe I could read something in his eyes.

_What's he thinking about? Does he even want me here? Why won't he say something?_

I reached out to lift his chin up, but he turned his head to avoid my touch. That was all it took to trigger the explosion. I lost it.

"TALK TO ME! DAMN IT!" I screamed, slamming my hand against the wall near his head. He jumped slightly and stared at me with wide eyes. His lips quivered and a raspy sob escaped through them. Two large tears trickled down his cheeks, instantly extinguishing my anger. I was suddenly filled with remorse for my outburst.

_I'm an asshole. What the hell's wrong with me?_

"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just…I don't know…damn it…I just fucking missed you so much. Why won't you talk to me?" I reached for his trembling hands, but he moved backwards nearly tripping over the first step of the wide staircase behind him. He nervously stood there with his arms wrapped around his chest protectively. He eyed me suspiciously.

"Edward, please," I begged. "Don't shut me out. I'm sorry. I had no right to take my frustration out on you. I don't know why I did that. I could never hurt you. Please believe me."

I carefully took one step forward, watching his face as I approached him.

"Jasper," he sobbed hoarsely. "I'm sorry I didn't call you. I didn't think… What I mean is…I'm sorry that I got you mixed up in my fucked up life. We shouldn't be together. I'm not good for you. I'm a broken mess. I'm never going to be right. You deserve someone better."

One long stride brought me directly in front of him. I cupped his face in both of my hands and stared into his glistening eyes. The feel of his rough unshaven jaw caused my hands to tingle. Guilt and relief washed over me. I'd hurt him, but he wasn't trying to run away.

"I don't know what you're talking about, darlin'." I uttered gently as I stroked his damp cheeks with my thumbs. "If I didn't think we belonged together, I wouldn't be here. Tell me what you're thinking."

He sat down on the step and I sat down beside him. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and he laid his head against my collarbone. He was sobbing softly into my shirt. Burying my nose in his hair, I breathed in deeply. His fragrance was intoxicating. I'd missed that. We sat in silence for several minutes until he sat up, wiping the tears with his hands.

"I'm tired, Jasper," he whispered, looking into my eyes. "I'm so tired of trying to stay away from you."

My eyes narrowed in worried confusion before I simply stated, "Then don't."

A few seconds ticked by so I added, "Why are you trying to stay away from me?"

He wrapped his arms around my waist and laid his head down on my shoulder. "I'm just not good for you, Jasper. You're going to get hurt if you hang around me."

"Are you talking about that ass-wipe, Felix?" I asked, incredulously. "He doesn't scare me." I pulled him closer and tightened my grip around his shoulders. I heard his breath hitch as he pulled away and placed his arms around his chest. "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"I'm still a little sore," he explained. I moved my hands to the hem of his tee shirt, looking into his eyes for permission. He nodded and brought his arms up slightly so that I could gently lift the shirt. I gasped when I saw the two wide purple stripes painted across the left side of his ribcage. Like the bruise on his face, they showed signs of healing.

"I'm gonna rip that fucker's head off!" I blurted. He looked at me anxiously.

"No you're not!" he exclaimed. "Promise me you'll stay away from him. He's dangerous, Jasper. You'll get hurt."

"I already told you. I'm not afraid of that asshole." I stated.

"Promise me! Promise me you won't," he beseeched. "I don't want something bad to happen to you because of me."

_That's not gonna happen, baby._

He looked so frightened that I decided not to argue with him. I nodded in assent and then distracted him by cuddling him close and kissing his forehead. It seemed to help because his tears subsided and his breathing became calmer after a few minutes. Deep inside, I knew that if I ever ran into Felix again I wasn't holding back. That bastard was going to pay. I wasn't going to worry Edward about it, though.

I looked around me. Beyond the foyer was a huge living area with a glass wall overlooking Puget Sound and providing a spectacular view of the Seattle skyline.

"Nice digs." I said, "Will I get a nickel tour, if I say please?"

Edward sat up and smiled weakly. "Absolutely." He wiped the tears from his eyes and stood. "You're in luck because tours are free for VIP guests." Holding out his hand, he pulled me up and led me through the wide archway leading to the living area. In a corner, I noticed a shiny black baby grand piano. Sheet music was strewn all around it. The rest of the furniture in the room was Italian, and there was art on the walls. Small sculptures and vases sat on low tables near the leather couches and a modern fireplace covered nearly half of an entire wall. Outside on the balcony were two glass patio tables with chairs.

_Must be nice to sit out there and have breakfast or dinner and watch the sunrise or sunset._

I walked over to the glass doors leading outside and was aware that Edward was following closely behind me. I stopped in front of the doors and gazed at the breathtaking view. Suddenly I felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind. He set his chin on my shoulder and sighed.

I turned my head to look at him. "I see you've been playing piano again."

He blushed and moved his head off of my shoulder. Glancing back at the piano, he said, "Yeah. It's been comforting. Playing helps me stop thinking about stuff."

"Will you play something for me?" I asked, tilting my head.

He bit his lower lip. "Maybe later. I thought you wanted a tour."

I smiled. "Maybe later. Come sit with me." I took his hand and led him to one of the couches. We sat down close together, each of us tucking one leg under the other so that we could turn and face one another.

"Can I get you something to drink?" he asked. "Beer, soda, wine, coffee? We also have scotch, brandy…"

"Beer's fine," I interrupted.

"I'll be back in a sec," he promised as he got up and walked through the dining area and disappeared through a door that I assumed was the kitchen. He returned a minute later with a bottle of beer in one hand and a bottle of water in the other.

"You're not having any?" I asked surprised. I took the bottle from him and brought it to my lips. The cool, bitter liquid slid down my throat and instantly calmed my nerves.

"No. I'm on a special diet." He laughed when I raised an eyebrow. If anything, Edward was underweight in my opinion. "Actually, I'm taking some new medication that won't work well if I drink alcohol," he said sheepishly as he sat back down and faced me again. Trying to hide his blush, he quickly took a drink from his water bottle.

I let the comment about the new medication slide. It wasn't any of my business, but I suspected the new medication was related to his recent experience with Felix.

"So…tell me about your family." I suggested, trying to change subjects.

He looked at me surprised. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything." I stated, pursing my lips.

Edward looked away thoughtfully for a second and then said, "Well, let's see. My Aunt Emily, Alice's mom, and my mother were twins. This crazy shade of red hair and the green eyes come from that side of the family…"

"Wait a minute. What do you mean were?" I interrupted. The past tense had me confused.

"Oh! Umm…Esme isn't my biological mother." He said. My jaw dropped and my eyebrows shot up.

"Your parents are divorced?" I asked, remembering Esme's tears at the hospital.

"No. My biological mother died when I was born. Her name was Elizabeth. I never knew her. Dad was a little overwhelmed trying to care for a newborn and keep his job at the hospital, so he hired a nanny. Anyway, to make a long story short, he fell in love with my nanny and married her a year later. She legally adopted me when I was three. So you see, Esme really is my mom." He looked thoughtful and then smiled wistfully.

I took another swallow of beer, contemplating what he had just told me.

_No wonder they're so protective of him._

"So now you have to tell me something about your family," he challenged.

"Okay. I grew up in East Texas. My dad's an oilman and my mom's a stay-at-home socialite. My brother works for my dad and is married with two kids. None of them knows that I'm gay and I hope I never have to tell them. I moved to Washington to get away from them and have a life that lets me date who I want." I said, shrugging my shoulders. "End of story."

"What? Are you kidding?" He seemed incredulous. "You can't keep that a secret forever."

My shoulders slumped as I realized that he was right. What will happen when they eventually learn that their youngest son is a faggot, a deviant, a pervert? I cringed as I remembered those words used by my father and brother on many occasions. Edward reached for my hand and held it tight. I drew some strength from him before I finally answered. "They will hate me. They will abandon me. You can't understand, Edward. They're the only family I have. I don't want to lose them."

He pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed each knuckle. "You cannot know that, Jasper. I was terrified when I told my parents. I worried that they might kick me out. I was so wrong. They were a little shocked, but after that wore off Dad hugged me and told me he was proud of me. He said he knew that it took a lot of courage to tell them. They both said that they would always love me. They believe that love is love and that you don't get to choose who you fall in love with. It chooses you."

I shook my head. "Trust me when I say that they are not open-minded people. I lived in the heart of Bible country. Every third Sunday, the preacher filled our ears with homophobic bullshit. Homosexuals are perverts. Homosexuality is a sin. Homosexuals go to hell. They are being punished by heaven with diseases like AIDS."

Edward moved in closer and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. You can be a part of our family. I always wanted a brother. Do you want to be my brother?" he breathed, kissing my neck.

I shivered. "No. I want to be your lover." I asserted, moving my face closer until our lips were only an inch apart.

I could feel his warm breath fanning my face, urging me even closer. A blissful feeling swept through me when my lips lightly brushed his. He pushed me back against the back of the couch and moved his legs to straddle my lap. Like a starving man craving the taste of food, I wanted to devour him. However, I knew we needed to be careful. He obviously wasn't ready for anything too physical. I lightly wrapped my arms around his back.

For several minutes I continued caressing his mouth gently, nibbling along his jawbone to his earlobes and lightly kissing his eyelids and nose. Travelling down his neck, I licked his Adam's apple before sucking on it. His breath hitched and when my mouth returned to his, he fervently began returning my kisses. For the first several minutes I successfully kept our kisses gentle. Gradually it progressed, becoming more heated until our tongues were sweeping back and forth between our mouths, tangling together as we gasped for breath. My erection painfully trapped in my tight jeans made me wish I had worn loose cargo shorts instead. I tried adjusting myself, but it was impossible with Edward planted on my lap.

Edward's hands began sliding up and down along my spine. As our kisses became more frenzied, I felt his hands slip further down until they reached the waistband of my jeans. He pushed the tips of his fingers under the waistband and I pushed him away. His eyes had darkened and his cheeks were a delicious shade of pink. I sighed sadly.

"I don't know, darlin'," I said. "I don't want to hurt you. You're still healing."

"You won't hurt me," he insisted, but I shook my head.

"I'm tired of people trying to keep me from doing what I want. Why does everyone think they know what I need?" He grumbled peevishly before kissing me again in earnest.

_Is he talking about me…or his parents?_

I sighed in resignation. "Bedroom?" I breathed into his ear. Smiling triumphantly, he grabbed my hand and stood up, pulling me up with him. He led me back to the foyer and the wide staircase. As I trudged behind him, I tried to think of ways to satiate my boy without causing him any pain. It didn't help my thought process when I was forced to stare at his ass only a foot away from my face. My cock throbbed uncomfortably reminding me how much it wanted to be in there. Nevertheless, I had already decided that I would not do anything to hurt him.

He led me into a large bedroom at the end of the hallway and closed the door behind us. The furniture in the room was ebony and contemporary Italian. The entire back wall of the bedroom was made of glass and caused me to suspect that the entire back of the house must be glass. Directly in front of the wall of windows was a black leather Barcelona loveseat. Several books lay on the floor near the windows. A comfortable-looking platform bed stood against the opposite wall. The bed looked slept in and messy. Piled on top was a rumpled blue and green plaid comforter. Several matching pillows were tossed precariously on the bed and floor.

Bookcases filled were filled with books, CD's and DVD's. On one of the walls was a flat screen television. A desk against the last wall, held a computer and printer.

He smiled and put his arms around my neck pulling me closer until our bodies were pressed together. My body molded into his and I noticed a strange sensation in my chest. Something tingly was bothering me from the inside out. I could feel it gnawing at the edges of my conscience, buzzing around like an annoying fly. I just couldn't put my finger on what it was exactly. I know it had to do with being near him. My body needed to see him, hear him, feel him, taste him and breathe him in.

"You have a nice bedroom." I complimented, trying to break the thick haze settling in my mind.

Snickering, he mumbled, "Jasper, I didn't bring you up here to talk about my mom's decorating skills." His lustful gaze was fixed on my lips.

"I know…," I started to say, but he pressed his lips against mine before I could finish.

I lightly wrapped my arms around his waist, careful not to embrace him too tightly. He moved his lips against mine urgently, rubbing his hand over my crotch. Shivering from the sensation, I returned his kisses forcefully.

_Fuck. It feels so good to be with him this way again._

I ran one hand up under his tee shirt pinching and twisting his nipples until they were hard little pebbles. He moaned appreciatively and pulled away, pressing his forehead against mine. I took the opportunity to yank his shirt up and off before doing the same to my own. When our bare chests touched, the sensation was divine. His mouth met mine again. I allowed him to push his tongue in and moaned when I tasted him again. I slipped one of my hands between our bodies and continued to play with his nipples while the fingers of my other hand grazed over the prominent bulge in his pajamas. He whimpered and began thrusting forward trying to find more friction.

"That's it, baby. Just like that." I encouraged him, sucking his earlobe into my mouth and using my tongue to play with it.

I let him thrust against the palm of my hand for a couple of minutes before I fully grasped his cock and squeezed it through the thin fabric. He groaned loudly and began dragging me forward as he walked backwards to the bed, finally stopping when his calves hit the edge. Sitting down, he drew me to him until I was standing between his knees. Giving me a mischievous crooked grin, he began to quickly unbutton my jeans. When he'd completed his task, he pulled them down along with my boxers. They pooled at my ankles.

Mesmerized, he stared at my engorged cock for a few seconds before slightly bending his head down to lick the shiny drop of fluid on the tip. He hummed with delight and as quick as a flash pushed me back a couple of steps. He dropped to his knees in front of me grabbed my cock firmly with one hand and sucked the head into his mouth. He rested his hands on the back of my thighs, squeezing them for support. Panting heavily, I grabbed each side of his head with my hands to steady myself. His hair was soft and luxurious. I threaded my fingers through it, reveling in its silky texture. I gasped when he ran his tongue through the slit and around the glans. Smiling proudly, he looked up at me through his thick lashes. With a determined look, he slid the entire length of my cock into his mouth and down his throat. I felt the tip touch the back of his throat before he swallowed.

"Oh fuck!" I exclaimed throwing my head back and closing my eyes.

_My boy has mad skills._

As he came back up, I felt him graze his teeth lightly on the underside of my cock. He released me when he reached the top, only to lick the shaft down to my scrotum. My knees began to weaken when he sucked one ball into his mouth and let it roll around in the sac. He let go of my testicle and licked his way over to the other, sucking it in and giving it the same attention. When he was done, he flattened his tongue and ran it back up the shaft. When he reached the head, he gave it a reverent kiss before taking it into his mouth again.

He began bobbing his head up and down my shaft, sucking hard each time he reached the head. After several minutes, I began to feel the familiar tightening in my lower abs, warning me of my impending orgasm.

"Edward st-stop," I stammered in a raspy voice I hardly recognized as my own. "You need to stop." I shivered when he released my wet cock. He gazed at me with a confused face.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked with a genuine look of concern clouding his face.

I laughed.

_Adorable._

"No, darlin'. I'm getting too close. I don't want to come yet." I smiled down at him. He was so fucking beautiful. I helped him stand. "Let's get on the bed."

He obliged, lying back and pushing himself up until his head rested on the pillows near the headboard. I toed off my shoes and kicked off my jeans and boxers before I followed him, crawling up along the right side of his body. I laid my head next to his and he rolled over to face me. He was lying on his uninjured side now and I felt confident that I could keep him in this safe position.

For several moments we lay quietly, simply tracing each other facial features with our fingers. When I ran my finger slowly across his lower lip, he closed his eyes and swallowed. There was something there in his face. Was he feeling the same sort of sensation I was feeling? He opened his eyes and smiled sweetly.

"How do you want me?" he asked. He took one of my hands to his lips, kissing the tips of each finger starting with my pinkie. When he reached my thumb, he sucked it into his mouth. I felt his tongue sucking and moving around it, stroking it reverently. I never knew how erotic thumb-sucking could be. My dick twitched at the sensation. When I pulled my thumb out of his mouth, I heard a pop. Our lips collided and I pushed my tongue through his open lips thoroughly exploring the inside of his mouth.

"I want to taste you, Edward. I want your cum." I mumbled into his mouth. I reached down and slipped my thumbs under the waistband of his pajamas. He got the hint and pulled them down and off, kicking them out and onto the floor. I watched. My breath hitched when I saw his gorgeous cock lying straight and hard against a lovely nest of bronze curls. I reached down and palmed it gently. He groaned and thrust forward.

"Patience, babe." I soothed. I sat up and turned myself so that my head was pointing towards the foot of the bed and I was finally facing that beautiful appendage. It had all my attention now. My knees were bent and laying on the pillow. Edward scooted down a bit so that we now formed a 69 position. He whimpered as I began kissing my way down his shaft. I paused when I reached the base of his cock and buried my nose into his soft curls, breathing in the musky fragrance of his arousal.

_So good…_

I slipped my forearm between his thighs and lifted his left leg up just under the knee, bending his leg so that his foot was resting flat on the bed. This gave me perfect access to everything I needed. I felt him mimic my actions with my own leg. Tentatively I licked his shaved scrotum and gasped when I felt him do the same with my sac.

_Holy fucking hell…_

Holding on to his hips, I sucked in one of his balls, rolling it around with my tongue. Again he mimicked my actions, squirming and thrusting his hips a little bit. I let his testicle drop out of my mouth and sucked in the other. He was letting me lead. Every bit of attention I gave him, he returned. It was heavenly. I kissed my way up his shaft and pulled his cock into my mouth, tonguing the slit and sucking out some of the precum.

_Delicious._

And so it went. Everything I did to him, he did to me. The room was filled with slurps and moans. As we bobbed out heads up and down, I began to feel the tightening in my balls. I had been so close before and he had brought me back to that place so quickly. I needed to get him on the same page with me. Dropping his cock, I made my way down his shaft, nibbling and licking the entire way past his scrotum and perineum until I reached his glorious pink rosebud.

My boy was so smooth, not a single hair other than the small trimmed curls around the base of his penis. I ran my wet tongue around the edges of the hole and he moaned loudly. The sensation must have been so great that he lost his concentration and forgot to mimic my actions. My cock dropped out of his mouth. This gave me the opportunity I needed to get him as worked up as I was.

Without any warning, I plunged my tongue into his sweet hole and began thrusting in and out. He clenched around me and tried to thrust his cock into my collar for friction. I held him tight to keep him from moving and continued pushing my tongue in it in as far as it would go. I could hear him crying out my name over and over. He was getting closer. Suddenly, I felt him suck my cock into his mouth all the way down until it tapped the back of his throat.

I pulled my tongue out and, this time, mimicked his actions taking him deep down my throat. His dick twitched and pulsed as we both came together. His hot, thick and salty essence slid down my throat in spurts. I swallowed every drop, sucking him until I was sure there was nothing left.

Completely sated, we let each other go and rolled on our backs. I waited until my breathing eased a little bit before moving back up to lay my head next to him. He turned, grabbing me by the back of the neck and pulled me into a deep kiss.

"Jasper, I…I…," he stammered. He bit his lip as though he decided not to finish his sentence and then added, "That was incredible." He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine. I smiled and placed my hand on his chest. His heart was still pounding. My own was no different. We lay in silence, trying to calm our bodies. After a couple of minutes I noticed that his breathing had evened out. He was fast asleep. Smiling, I kissed his lips lightly and reached down to pull the comforter over us. The air in the room was heavy with the smell of our coupling. Curling close to his warm body I tried to relax so that I could fall asleep, but my mind wouldn't shut down. My body still tingled as though small charges of electricity were passing through it.

_Am I in love? Is that what this is?_

The idea startled me. I thought I was in love with Seth, but this sensation was nothing like that. It was a little frightening and exciting at the same time.

I must have slept for a few hours. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. Looking out of the windows I could see that the sun had dropped down considerably, painting the sky in brilliant shades of red and orange.

Edward was gone. His side of the bed was cold. I pressed my face into his pillow and breathed in deeply. His fragrance permeated the pillow and sent shivers down my spine. It was nice, but I needed to find the real thing. I slipped back into my boxers and jeans and stepped out of the room to look for him.

The moment I opened the door, I heard the music. Gentle classical music was drifting up the stairs. I recognized the familiar melody, Clair de Lune. Edward was playing. I crept down the stairs and rounded the corner. His back was to me and he seemed to be lost in the music. The elastic waistband on his pajamas had slipped down revealing about two inches of his butt crack. Shirtless, the muscles on his bare back rippled as he swayed with emotion. Like a magnet, I was drawn to him. His shoulders were hunched and my eyes were focused on the small mole under his left ear. I licked my lips. He sensed my presence the moment I stood behind him and he stopped playing leaving his fingers resting on the keys.

"Don't stop," I beseeched. "It's beautiful. I never guessed that you could play so well."

He was blushing. I saw the familiar pink tinge on the tips of his ears. "Thank you. I didn't wake you, did I?" He turned on the bench to face me. He had shaved while I'd been sleeping and his hair was damp. I reached out and cupped his smooth cheek with my hand.

Smiling, I shook my head. "You said you would play for me later. Well, now is later." I reminded him.

He smirked and without turning his head back to the piano, started playing again. "I'll play a little longer. Sit by me," he ordered. I complied immediately and sat down next to him. He played for several minutes before he queried, "Are you hungry?"

I lowered my chin and looked at him, grinning. "Oh! You mean for food?"

He stopped playing abruptly and threw his head back laughing. How I loved to see him this way, so relaxed and cheerful. "Yes, for food," he clarified, once he was able to speak again. "Man cannot live by sex alone."

"Fine, if you insist. Wanna order some pizza?" I asked, sticking out my lower lip in a pout.

"Actually, Mom left a few things that can be warmed up." He winked at me with a sexy smirk on his face and began standing, but I pulled him back down on my lap.

"Not so fast. I'll have you know that I'm good at warming things up." I declared, huskily. I cupped his face with my palms and kissed his lips, leisurely savoring his unique flavor. He beamed at me when we broke apart again.

"Sorry, cowboy. Have to eat your dinner before you can have dessert." He chuckled, even as he gasped for breath. Staring into my eyes, his smile faded. He brought a hand up and pushed a few stray curls out of my eyes.

"Fine. As long as I get that dessert. You may go now." I waved my hand towards the kitchen and he stood up. When he turned away I slapped him on the ass. He whirled back around and arched an eyebrow at me in mock surprise.

"Oh you're going to get dessert alright," he jokingly threatened.

"I'm counting on it." I answered laughing.

Thirty minutes later we were sitting out on the balcony enjoying Esme's delicious meatloaf and mashed potatoes, along with a fabulous fruit salad that Edward put together. I sat back contentedly in my chair and sipped my beer, watching the boats drifting on the sound. The view of the sunset was magnificent.

Our conversation during dinner was mostly over our similar taste in movies and our mutual passion for music. Edward revealed his secret desire to be a concert pianist someday. It was something that I could actually see him doing. He was that good.

When we were done eating, I helped him carry the dishes into the kitchen. He had described their media room to me earlier and excitedly suggested we watch Blake Edward's "Victor Victoria" after dinner. So it surprised me when he seemed to be stalling. I watched from the doorway as he ignored the dirty dishes in front of him and let the warm water from the sink's faucet run over his hands. Minutes ticked by. He looked pensive. We'd been so candid in our earlier conversation that I felt comfortable enough to finally ask what he was thinking. His cheeks flushed crimson as he turned to look at me.

"Jasper, will you stay with me tonight?"

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Thanks for reading! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I'm late. I know. I have been suffering from a severe case of J/E writer's block. Hope I can get back on more consistent posting schedule.

Thank you, **BbEyedGirl**,for fixing all my commas and for giving me your honest opinions. MWAH!

**Disclaimers: **All Twilight characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer and any Twilight movie references are owned by Summit Entertainment, et al.

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**Chapter 5**

I awoke the next morning nestled against Edward's warm back, my leg draped protectively over his hips. Aside from his breathing there was complete silence. Pulling my leg away, I sat up and looked out the window. A thick, gray blanket of fog had rolled in from the Pacific during the night, muffling the drowsy sounds of the outside world and wrapping itself comfortably over the treetops. Edward's room had no curtains and the haze diffused the light into a soft glow. Looking down at my lover, I was astounded by his beauty. Edward was lying on his side, his long legs curled up almost to his chest. One hand lay flat on top of his pillow and the other was buried underneath supporting his head. Long dark lashes fringed his pink cheeks and his plump red lips were pouted. I felt like the luckiest man in the world. I lay back on the pillow and curled around his warmth. Closing my eyes, I relished the scent of his body and let my mind wander happily to memories of the previous night. Beaming, I kissed his shoulder, remembering how I felt at the time.

_It was completely unexpected when he asked me to stay over. I tried to feign nonchalance when I answered him with a simple "Of course, darling", but inside my heart and stomach were dancing. It was impossible to hide the silly grin on my face._

_After we cleaned up from our dinner, we curled up on the living room couch and talked while I polished off a few more beers and Edward sipped cups of chamomile tea from a Limoges teacup. __It was amazing how comfortable we were talking to each other. It was almost as if we'd been friends for years instead of weeks. Before I knew it, we were lying down next to each other. One of my arms was under my head and the other wrapped around his shoulders. His head lay on my chest and I enjoyed burying my face into his hair as we talked._

_Our conversation mostly centered on art, books, music and movies. We discovered that we had similar tastes. Edward was an avid reader and we spent a good deal of time discussing the latest books we were reading. It was refreshing. It made me aware that these were the kinds of things that Seth and I had rarely discussed. Although he was sweet-natured and gorgeous to look at, Seth was not very sophisticated. His main interests were sex, dancing and more sex, in that order. Of course, I enjoyed those things too, but it was delightful to speak intelligently with someone about culture. I suddenly felt a wave of guilt._

_Does that make me a snob? I hope not._

_At some point in the conversation, I told him about my miserable experience coming to terms with my sexuality. A small bible-belt town in Texas has to be the worse place for a gay boy to live. I tried dating a few girls in high school, hoping in vain that I was just confused, but I realized that it was the guys in the locker room that really turned me on. I was always so scared that people would find out. I spent my evenings and weekends buried in my books avoiding any type of socializing. My parents were worried that I was depressed. I had no choice but to move away as far as possible._

_This brought us to the subject of my desire to find employment so I wouldn't need to take any more money from them. I had recently applied for a substitute teaching position with the Seattle Independent School District. I had an interview lined up for Wednesday morning. Edward asked me if I was still thinking about quitting the band. We'd had a couple of gigs since I last spoke to him. The money we earned was pitiful. I still hadn't said anything to the guys. He encouraged me to stick with the band for now. If things got too difficult, I could always quit later. After all, if Garrett, Emmett and Peter could stay out playing late at night and still manage to get up and go to work the next day, I could too._

_Edward admitted as well that he hated having to depend on his parents and he was anxious to go back to his apartment and the coffee shop. Since he had refused to file charges against Felix, his father had insisted on a restraining order. Felix was not allowed to come within one hundred yards of Edward or Edward's place of business. It seemed to be working. They hadn't heard from Felix since the incident at the bar. Edward wanted to move back before his parents returned from Florida. He knew that they would try to talk him into staying with them longer. In fact, Esme had already hinted that she thought it would be best if he moved back in permanently. He didn't want to deal with the arguments. I agreed to help him move. This was definitely not going to help me gain any points with his parents. I already suspected that Dr. Cullen didn't like me despite Alice's assurance to the contrary._

_After a while, he asked me if I was still interested in watching a movie. We wandered downstairs to the basement where a huge media room was set up. We settled down on a reclining loveseat and Edward started the movie. Although I had seen 'Victor Victoria' many times and it was a bit dated, I still found much of it amusing. When Alex Karras cried and admitted to James Garner that he was gay too, I heard Edward yawning. I looked over and noticed that his eyelids were fluttering. It was obvious that he was fighting to keep his eyes open. I suggested that we call it a night and he readily agreed._

_Our previous weeks of sleep deprivation along with the earlier blow jobs had rendered us both drained of all energy. We were both so exhausted it was a struggle to climb the stairs to his room and strip off our clothes. When we crawled into bed, we couldn't do much but snuggle, but that was fine by me. I was perfectly content just lying next to him._

_He pressed his back against my chest and I carefully draped my arm over his waist burying my nose into the hair on the nape of his neck. Moments before sleep claimed him, he whispered 'Thank you.'_

_For several minutes I fought with my body's desire to sleep. I smiled as I listened to his soft snoring. I placed my lips against the delicate skin on his neck, letting my tongue peek out and taste the small mole there. It was deliciously salty. I needed to sleep, but I simply couldn't stop myself from breathing in his scent and reveling in his warmth. At some point, my body won and I drifted into unconsciousness._

My heart stuttered and my eyes flew open when I heard a soft knocking at the door and a woman's voice singing out.

"Buenos días! Señor Eduardo estás aquí? Es Adelena!"

I barely had time to pull the sheet up and over our naked bodies as the door slowly swung open and she entered. I went as far as covering my head under the sheet. I thought my heart would pound its way out of my chest as I nudged Edward gently with my hand. He stirred and groaned as he rolled on his back pushing the sheet down with his arms and exposing his bruised chest and my terrified face. It mirrored the expression on the old woman's face in the doorway. I quickly buried my head between the pillow and Edward's shoulder, praying she wouldn't notice me.

"Aye! Perdóname! Sorry..sorry, Eduardo. You have guest. I come later to clean room." With that, she shut the door softly and I heard her shuffle down the hallway. Edward, who had still not opened his eyes, grunted and fell asleep again. He began to snore. I checked the clock on the nightstand. It was 9:30.

"Edward, wake up!" I whispered loudly, nudging him again. "Your housekeeper just walked in here."

He groaned. "Huh?" He seemed disoriented as he blinked and shifted his eyes around. His eyelids fluttered shut and I shook him again with more vigor. He opened those green orbs again and focused on me. Suddenly a sunny smile stretched across his face and I felt myself melt. I couldn't help myself. I brushed my fingers over those soft, red lips and he kissed them. My cock twitched happily.

_Every action has a reaction._

"Your housekeeper just walked in a few seconds ago," I repeated softly, "I think she noticed that you have someone in your bed."

He chuckled, dismissively. "That's okay. It wouldn't be the first time that's happened."

I forced a smile. Something about that uncensored admission worried me.

_How many guys have been in this bed?_

He opened his mouth and yawned loudly, stretching out his long legs over the bed and his arms over the headboard. He brought his arms down and wrapped them around me, pulling me on top of him. I could feel his arousal pressed against my hip.

"C'mere," he ordered.

_Sleepy Edward can be very demanding. I like it._

I lowered my head and he kissed me gently on the lips and hummed. "Good morning, love. Mmmm… I like finding naked Jasper in my bed."

My heart skipped a beat when I heard the endearment. His hands roamed up and down my back, drifting lower with each pass until they reached my ass cheeks. He gave them a squeeze and smiled wickedly, waggling his eyebrows.

_He's not sleepy anymore. _

"Edward," I protested trying my best not to smile as I pushed away from him, "I don't want to hurt your ribs."

"I'm fine, really," he assured me, tucking some stray curls behind my ear. "I'll let you know if anything hurts." He wrapped a hand around the nape of my neck, threading his long fingers around my hair and pulling my head down. I closed my eyes as he gently pressed his lips against mine, running his tongue along the seam of my lips. I opened my mouth to him and for a moment allowed myself to relish his taste before coming to my senses. I pushed myself away again.

"Shouldn't we get up and let your housekeeper clean your room?" I asked, looking nervously toward the door.

"Quit worrying about her," he insisted. "She has plenty of other rooms to clean and keep her busy." Reaching between us, he gently squeezed my erection sending sparks and shivers up my spine. Without warning, he flipped us over and I found myself on my back with Edward straddling my hips, his heavy morning wood resting atop my belly. He yawned again arching his back and stretching his arms out. As his ass shifted and pressed against my cock, I couldn't stifle my groan.

"Damn, I feel good," he announced as he bent over and brushed his lips over the scruff on my jaw. "How did you sleep?"

"Better than I've slept in weeks," I admitted, placing my hands on his toned biceps. I squeezed them appreciatively. I hadn't really noticed how strong my boy was. Kissing his cheek gently, I reveled in the warmth of his breath fanning my face. I turned my head and kissed him soundly. He sighed and pulled away to look at me.

"Mmmm…me too," he murmured. Twirling his fingers through my curls, he stared intently into my eyes. "You're beautiful. You know that?"

I laughed at the absurdity of that comment. If anyone was beautiful, it was him. The ugly bruises on his torso were eclipsed by the striking features of his face; his angular jaw, straight nose, pale skin, long dark lashes and those brilliant green eyes. "Are you sure you didn't have anything to drink last night? Maybe your medication is affecting your vision," I suggested.

He snorted. "You can't see yourself the way I see you. Your eyes are the most amazing shade of blue, like the sky on a clear day, and your head is covered in silky golden curls like a cherub." He pulled a curl out straight and then let it bounce back.

"Edward, that is the corniest thing I've ever heard," I said, rolling my eyes and laughing.

"You're right. It is," he admitted, frowning. He shifted his body and laid on top of me, smashing his lips against mine and forcing his tongue into my mouth, effectively ending that conversation. Our hands slid all over our bodies, stroking and rubbing, and he began grinding his hips in slow circles, pressing his erection into mine. I writhed under him, trying to get even more friction. I stopped thinking about the fact that there was another person in the house. The room melted away my consciousness. There was only Edward.

For several minutes all that could be heard were the gasps and groans from our mouths whenever we allowed our lips to part. He gently nibbled along my jaw until he reached my ear. In a throaty rasp, he whispered, "Make love to me, babe."

My cock twitched and I groaned. How could I deny him? I reached up and cupped his cheek in one hand and he turned his face and kissed my palm. "Only if you ride me," I agreed. "That way I can't press into your ribs and hurt you."

He beamed, bending down to kiss my lips. "Deal," he said. He rose up on his knees and reached around to the bedside table for the supplies we would need. His cock hovered inches from my face and my mouth involuntarily opened hoping for a taste.

He dropped the condom and lube next to us on the bed and sat back down on my thighs. Mesmerized, I watched him prepare himself. He bent forward and placed one hand on the bed. I supported his hips as he used his other hand to push first one, then two slick fingers into his ass. He closed his eyes and moaned softly as he pumped them in and out. It had to be one of the most erotic things I'd ever seen and heard. My dick was leaking profusely in anticipation. It lay in a pool of pre-cum on my stomach, pulsing and twitching every now and then. I wanted so badly to take hold of it and stroke it, but my hands were busy holding Edward's hips.

Several minutes passed, a third finger was added and when he felt he was finally ready, he sat back and took the condom wrapper, ripping it open with his teeth. I reached for it, but he slapped my hand away. He rolled it expertly down my shaft and coated it thoroughly with lube before pumping it a couple of times.

_What can I say? He's really good at this._

It occurred to me that we hadn't said anything for a while when he sighed and announced, "Okay. We're ready."

Smiling at me he bent over and kissed me before he positioned himself over my hips. He placed one hand flat on my chest and used the other hand to line up the tip of my cock directly under his entrance. Gradually he lowered his body, impaling himself on my shaft. Every few millimeters he would stop. Hissing and wincing slightly, he would wait to adjust before continuing. I found myself holding my breath as the sensation of his tight heat slowly engulfed me. It took every bit of self-control I had to keep from thrusting up into him.

"Jesus, Edward, you're so tight…so hot…so fucking good," I whimpered, digging my fingers into his hips. Our eyes were fixed on each others. Our emotions so intense, I felt I was seeing into his very soul.

"I've needed this so badly, love," he groaned as his ass finally rested on my hips and my cock was completely sheathed in his warmth.

For several more minutes we stayed still as he adjusted to the intrusion. When he finally started moving I gasped in relief. I hadn't realized I had stopped breathing and I don't know how much longer I could have stayed still. I watched him in utter amazement. Glistening with perspiration, he rocked himself languidly back and forth, his undulating heat squeezing and relaxing in a slow rhythm around me. His eyes never left mine. His mouth was slightly parted as he panted.

My hands moved up his back as high as I could reach so that I could pull him down to me. I craved to taste his sweet lips. Understanding my need, he crushed his mouth against mine opening up to allow my tongue to sweep in and tangle with his. I closed my eyes and reveled in the sensations that consumed us.

Sitting up again, he took one of my hands in his and threaded our fingers together before wrapping them around his throbbing length. Our hands were slick with sweat and pre-cum and we began sliding them up and down in rhythm with his movements. He started moaning, throwing back his head and exposing the cords on his neck. His rocking increased and became more erratic. I pulled my hand away from his cock so that I could place my hands on his ass and lift him up. I started driving up into him with quick shallow thrusts. I began feeling that familiar tightness and tingling low in my belly. Edward's hand was flying over his cock, pumping as fast as he could. We were both close.

"Right there! Yes! Faster!" he exclaimed, as my cock touched that magical spot deep inside him. His chest and neck were flushed with exertion. Sweat trickled down his chest and dripped onto mine. I could feel hair sticking to my face over my eyes, but I didn't want to stop and push it away.

He started clenching down. I tried to hold out and wait for him, but I lost the battle. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I cried out as I felt myself release in short spurts deep inside him. Seconds later he screamed out my name and I watched as warm streams of cum landed on my stomach and chest. Collapsing on top of me, he crashed his lips against mine. For several minutes, we lay pressed together trying to calm our pounding heartbeats. As I came back to reality, I could hear a vacuum cleaner running in a nearby room, but at the moment I couldn't make myself care whether Adelena had heard us.

An hour later, we emerged from Edward's bedroom showered, shaved and dressed for the day. We passed Adelena on the stairway and I felt my face heat up as I looked into her care-worn face. She looked away in embarrassment.

"Hi, Adelena." Edward greeted cheerfully as he bounded down the stairs. "You can clean my room now, if you want."

_Where is the shy boy I met just a couple of weeks ago?_

It was obvious that Edward was not shy when he was in his own environment. In fact, he was the opposite.

We stepped into the kitchen and he opened the refrigerator. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Let's go out," I suggested, feeling a sudden urge to get away from there for a while.

"Nowhere too fancy," he said, looking down at our jeans and sneakers.

"How 'bout the Cullen Coffee Company?" I asked with a smirk. "I hear they're pretty casual."

He grinned. "They do have great coffee."

The heavy, morning fog had turned into a rain shower, and the pavement outside was shiny and slick. Edward insisted on driving claiming that his Volvo was safer to drive in bad weather. When I argued that my truck was probably just as safe, he complained that he hadn't been behind the wheel in weeks and missed driving. I finally gave in and we climbed into his car and buckled up. As we sped down the street and streaked on to the highway, weaving recklessly around slower cars, I suddenly regretted letting him drive. My Edward acted like a raging maniac behind the wheel.

"Relax Edward. We're not in a hurry." I hinted, as he whizzed by an eighteen-wheeler and rounded a curve in the road going 90. The windshield wipers were useless against the pounding rain and the visibility was no more than a few feet. My knuckles had turned white as I gripped the armrest and console.

"Huh?" he asked, absently as he fumbled with the CD player. He put some music on, but the soothing sounds of Billie Holiday did nothing to relax me. I shut my eyes as we narrowly passed an old Buick sedan driven by an elderly couple, spraying their car with a heavy wave of water. I couldn't bear to see their terrified faces. "People shouldn't get on the highway if they can't drive faster than 40 miles an hour," he complained.

"Will you slow down a bit?" I beseeched as we practically drowned an unsuspecting hitchhiker with another wave. I looked back and saw the drenched hitchhiker screaming and waving his fist in the air at us.

"I'm only going 80. Maybe I should have given him a ride," Edward muttered, squinting into the rearview mirror.

He must have noticed how nervous I was, because he reached over the console and patted my thigh. "You know, I've never had an accident or even had a traffic ticket," he assured me.

_But how many accidents have you caused?_

I kept my thoughts to myself and smiled weakly at him.

Not surprisingly, it didn't us take long to get to the coffee shop. I breathed a sigh of relief as he slowed down to enter the parking lot. He hastily parked the car and we held hands as we ran to the shop's door, skipping over the puddles. Shaking the rain out of our hair, we stepped inside. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and laid his head down on my shoulder. My stomach growled as I inhaled the delicious aroma of fresh coffee and pastries and I heard him chuckle. The place wasn't very busy, and when I looked around I noticed a couple of familiar faces at one of the tables.

"Garrett?" I asked walking up to the table. Edward trailed close behind me clutching my hand.

"Oh hey, guys." He answered, looking up with a weak smile. Alice smiled and nodded at us, but held back her usual bubbly greeting. She was nervously chewing on her thumbnail.

It was already August and school had started up last week. I was surprised to see him here. He was dressed in a black hoodie and a pair of old jeans. His long brown hair, usually tied back for work, was loose and laying on his shoulders. Something wasn't right.

"What's up? No school today?" I asked jovially, trying not to sound as worried as I felt.

Garrett chuckled, but it sounded anything but happy. "Have a seat," he offered, motioning to the chair next to him. Edward looked at me apprehensively as we both sat down. A feeling of dread came over me.

Alice reached over and patted Edward's hand. "Hey honey. It's good to see you out and about," she said to him with a reassuring smile.

"Jasper, I've got some bad news," Garrett started. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before looking into my face. Alice reached for his hand and squeezed it supportively. "I got laid off today."

My eyebrows shot up. "Laid off? Wait. How can they do that? Don't you have a contract?" I was beyond shocked.

"Yeah, well, there are clauses that allow them to let people go if they're having budgetary problems. They decided that they could do without some of the "surplus" elective classes in music and drama." He used his fingers to motion quotation marks. "They doubled up the students in those classes. I wasn't the only person laid off this morning."

"Fuck. I'm sorry man." I felt so bad for him. He really loved teaching.

"Yeah, well that means I won't have the rent this month. Hey, do you think you can float me until I find something else?" he asked timidly as he played with the paper napkin in front of him.

"Oh shit! Garrett, my parents just cut me off. I've been trying to find a good time to tell you. I'm sorry." I felt like such an asshole for not letting him know sooner.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Crap! Well, there goes the house. I don't think I'm gonna be able to find another teaching job this late in the semester, and I don't have much savings."

We sat quietly staring at the table in front of us for a few minutes, not knowing what to say to comfort each other.

"I'm going to get us some coffee," Edward blurted, standing up. He started walking over to the counter.

"I'll go with you." Alice offered, jumping up and following him.

"Edward!" Angela greeted when she saw him. She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "We've missed you so much around here."

Their conversation faded into the background as I studied Garrett's face. He seemed worried, frowning as he twisted the paper napkin tightly around his fingers.

"So what were you planning to do?" he asked me, looking up.

I snorted. "I was going to ask you to float me the rent this month until I got a job."

He laughed, shaking his head.

I continued. "I managed to get an interview with the school district on Wednesday for a substitute teaching position. You wanna come with me?" I was willing to let him have the opportunity. I almost felt I owed it to him.

He shook his head. "No, but thanks. Actually, I've been thinking about teaching music lessons from home. That is, if I can find a home," he added with a chuckle.

"Em and Rose have an extra bedroom. Maybe they'll let us crash with them until we have enough saved to get an apartment." I suggested.

"Maybe… Wait! I don't want to share a room with you." Garrett grumbled in a playful tone.

"So sleep on their couch, but I get the bedroom." I told him, nodding my head.

"Yeah? We'll see about that, fucker. Rose likes me better than you." He crumpled the napkin in his hand and threw it in my face.

I laughed. "So tell me more about these music lessons." I prompted. This sounded very interesting.

"Well, according to Emmett and Peter, there are always people asking them to recommend music teachers to help them learn to play the instruments they buy. And it's not just kids. Adults are interested too. It's something that I've thought about before to help supplement my income. Maybe this is a good time to put that idea into action and start my own business." He sat back and stretched his legs out under the table, folding his hands over his stomach. "What do you think?"

"I think that sounds promising." I said as Alice and Edward walked up to the table carrying a tray full of coffees and pastries.

"What sounds promising?" Alice asked, giving Garrett a peck on the lips before sitting down.

I related Garrett's idea to them. Edward passed out the coffees and listened quietly. Alice joined us as we chatted back and forth excitedly. I asked Garrett if I could work with him. He seemed happy to have a partner. I could teach guitar and he could teach voice. He also knew saxophone and trumpet. We talked about putting up flyers at Em and Peter's store to start with. The biggest problem would be finding a place for the music lessons. Em and Rose might let us crash with them, but we were pretty sure they wouldn't want us bringing strangers in and out all day for music lessons.

"The one-story building next to this one belongs to my Dad," Edward said suddenly, "It's been empty for months. I could ask him to let you guys have it for awhile until you could afford to pay rent. You'd just have to pay for utilities."

"Why would he do that?" Garrett asked quirking an eyebrow at him.

"Well, he's not getting any rent right now and he's still paying the utilities. He'll be saving money by letting you take over the utilities." Edward reasoned. "Let's finish up here and I'll take you over there to check it out. I happen to have a key."

I was floored. I wanted to kiss him right there.

The tension we felt was gone and we leisurely finished our coffee and pastries. We changed the conversation and talked about the band's upcoming gigs for the next week. Fifteen minutes later Edward led us out of the shop and we followed him next door. The rain had stopped and the sun had broken through the clouds, hinting of better times to come.

He unlocked the front door and we walked into a small rectangular room. The sun was shining through the large plate glass window in front, filling the atmosphere with its warmth. The dark wooden floor was scratched and dull, but the walls were painted a bright white. Edward told us that it had been a small appliance store that had gone out of business. The entire place was bare with the exception of a long counter and some shelves against the back wall and a lonesome upright piano pushed into a corner.

I was drawn to the piano out of curiosity and I walked to the corner to check it out.

_Why is there a piano in here?_

The instrument was covered in a thick layer of dust. I ran my finger lightly over the fall board, revealing a shiny cherry finish under the fine white powder. Lifting the fall board up carefully, I exposed a perfect set of black and white keys. I sensed him standing behind me before he made himself known. Edward put his hands on my shoulders and kissed the nape of my neck.

"It's mine," he whispered to answer my unspoken question. He chuckled darkly. "I bought it on a whim one day and wanted to put it in the apartment. I didn't think about how I was going to get it up that narrow staircase. The coffee shop didn't have any space for it so Dad let me put it here. It's a pity. I've only played it once. Probably needs to be tuned. You're welcome to use it, if you'd like."

"Hey Garrett!" I called out. My voice echoed in the empty room.

He and Alice strolled over and I told them about Edward's offer to lend us his piano.

"So…do you play?" Garrett asked Edward, tilting his head to one side.

Edward shrugged and blushed. I couldn't help but smile. I hadn't seen that blush in a while.

_Shy Edward is back._

"Does he play? He is amazing!" Alice exclaimed.

"Yeah. I have to agree with that," I added looking at Edward who was looking down at his feet.

"You wouldn't be interested in joining our little business enterprise, would you?" Garrett asked him.

Edward took a moment to look up into my eyes before answering. He smiled broadly. "Sure. That actually sounds like it would be fun."

Once again, Edward assured us that his father would agree to let us have the place so the rest of the day was spent planning. We walked over to a nearby pizza joint for lunch and talked about moving. Garrett and I decided that we needed to give notice and vacate the house by the end of the month. That gave us a couple of weeks to figure out where we could live until we earned enough to rent an apartment. We figured Em and Rose would probably not mind the intrusion for a few weeks. We left the pizza place in a much better mood.

Walking back to Edward's car I began to get nervous. Even though it was no longer raining and the sun was peeking out of the clouds every now and then, I really didn't feel like sitting in the passenger seat while Edward flew us back to his house like a bat out of hell. As we neared the parking lot, we could see the beads of rain sparkling on the silver car.

"You know, I've never driven a Volvo before. Isn't this the S60?" I asked as we stopped in front of the car. Edward smiled and nodded, happy that I knew a little bit about cars. He reached out and touched the hood of the Volvo lovingly. "I've read a lot about its power. Would you let me drive your car back?"

Edward glanced over at me with narrowed eyes and frowned. "I don't know. I never let anyone drive my car," he said fidgeting with the keys in his hand.

"Please?" I begged. "I'll be extra careful." I touched his jaw lightly with my fingertips and looked into his eyes. I could see that he was struggling. He didn't want to deny me, but he hated giving up control of his car. After several long moments of hesitation, he finally agreed.

"Well…okay if you promise to be careful." He dropped the keys in the palm of my hand and I quietly let out a sigh of relief. It was difficult to keep from rolling my eyes.

I drove slowly down the street and as we pulled out on the highway, I could see a look of exasperation on his face. "You know, this car can reach 60 miles per hour in 6.2 seconds," he explained.

"Sure, but just because it can doesn't mean we should. The road is still very wet." I reasoned as I gently pressed down on the gas pedal, gradually increasing our speed to 65 miles per hour.

"Jasper," he complained, "you're driving like my Mom."

I laughed. "I'm going the posted speed limit, Edward. I told you I would be careful." I reminded him.

He whined and raked his hands through his hair in frustration, pulling nervously on the ends. "It'll take forever to get back at this rate."

I pulled one of his hands away from his hair and kissed it gently. Setting it down on the console, I let go so that I could turn on the CD player and distract him a bit. Some Billie Holiday came on and I heard him take a deep breath. I waited a minute before I started talking again.

"Do you think Adelena will tell your parents that I spent the night at your house?" I asked him. I shot a glance at him out of the corner of my eye to see his reaction. His head was leaning heavily against the side window and he was pouting like a child.

"I don't know. If they ask I'm sure she'll tell them." He mumbled, absently. "They probably won't ask though."

"Your Dad doesn't really like me. I don't want to give him more reasons why I'm a bad influence." I complained.

"Ha! If anyone's a bad influence, it would be me. First of all, I don't know why you think he doesn't like you. He doesn't even know you. Second, if it bothers them so much, they should let me move back to my apartment without giving me such a hard time," he said defiantly.

"All he knows is that I'm sleeping with his son. I'm sure he's thrilled about that. Oh, that reminds me," I said, nervously. "You mentioned this morning that it wasn't the first time Adelena saw you in bed with someone." I paused, hoping he would take the hint and simply answer my question without having to ask.

"I did?" he asked, genuinely surprised. He looked at me expectantly.

_Shit! I guess I'll have to spell it out._

"So…have you…hadalotofguysover?" I rambled quickly. I felt like such an ass for asking, and I began to wonder if I really wanted to know the answer.

"Are you asking me how many guys have been in my bed?" He seemed incredulous.

I turned my head in his direction and bit my lower lip.

He turned his face away and looked out the side window. I heard him sigh. "Does it make a difference?"

"No it doesn't. Look, don't answer it. It's none of my fucking business," I assured him.

_Why can't I just keep my mouth shut?_

He turned his body to face me. "I guess it's only fair. Before Riley, when I was still in high school, I used to sneak out of the house at night sometimes, get drunk and pick up guys. What can I say? I was a horny bastard. I'd sneak into a bar and flirt with the first hot guy that looked my way. They usually would buy me a few drinks. Sometimes we'd fuck in the men's room at the bar, or the backseat of their car or, hell, even in an alley. A few times, I sneaked them into the house." He sighed. I couldn't believe what I was hearing and wondered for a moment if he was joking. I was seeing a completely different side of Edward.

"One of those fuckers spent the night even though I told him to leave. We were both drunk and fell asleep. Adelena walked in, the same way she did this morning, except that time she ran out into the hall screaming. She thought someone was attacking me.

"Of course, her screams brought everyone upstairs. The guy grabbed his clothes and took off running. I never saw him again. Anyway, that's how I ended up telling my parents I was gay. Surprisingly, they handled it really well once the initial shock wore off. They didn't punish me, and they weren't upset that I was gay. In fact, they told me that they could never stop loving me because of my sexuality. They were proud of me for finally telling them, but they were horrified that I was going out drinking and picking up total strangers." He paused for a moment, chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

"Dad took me into his office and spent a few hours talking about love and commitment. He explained the importance of preparing for anal intercourse, its dangers and the proper way to use condoms and lube." Edward paused, grimacing and we both shuddered. "Of course, I also got a long lecture on the consequences of alcoholism. Sometimes it sucks having a Dad that's a doctor. That was probably worse than any punishment they could have dreamed up."

"They were really happy when I introduced them to Riley," he said with a sad smile. "Dad said he could tell that Riley and I were good together. Riley was so much more mature than me and helped me settle down."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut. "So to answer your question, I have no fucking clue how many guys I've been with. A lot. Anyway, Riley's the only one I've ever had a real relationship with and there's been no one since him…until you. Jasper, I hope this doesn't change the way you feel about me. I've grown up a lot since my high school days." He placed his hand on the steering wheel over mine and patted it gently. "Okay. Your turn now."

I nearly swerved as my eyes bugged out. "My turn? I-I didn't agree to that." I stuttered, staring straight ahead. I was happy that he had quit worrying about my driving, but this new direction in the conversation was totally unexpected.

"It's only fair, Jasper." Edward argued. "I told you."

"You want to know how many guys I've been with?" I verified, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat.

"No," he answered, shaking his head. "I want to know how many guys and girls you've been with."

_FUCK!_

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**Hey! Your opinion matters to me.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Edward has been bugging me for weeks to let him have his say. He was so insistent that he gagged poor Jasper and wouldn't let him go until I wrote this chapter just for him. Next chapter we'll be back to JPOV, but for now let's hear Edward's POV.

What would I do without my **BbEyedGirl**? My grammar would make my writing unintelligible. Thanks for being there for me, bb.

**Disclaimers: **All Twilight characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer and any Twilight movie references are owned by Summit Entertainment, et al.

"The Lazy Song" was written by Keinan Warsame, Bruno Mars, Ari Levine and Phillip Lawrence.

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**Chapter 6**

**EPOV**

_I don't get it. Why is he so quiet? Did I freak him out with my story?_

I peeked over at Jasper. He was seriously studying the bumper of the car in front of us while worrying his lower lip with his teeth. Maybe he wasn't ready to let me in on his past.

_He looks tense. Whatever he has to say can't be worse than what I told him._

"So am I getting an answer today?" I asked jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, of course." he answered. He turned and gave me a nervous smile before turning his attention back to the road. The traffic was lighter now that we had pulled off of the highway.

"If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to." I told him. I was starting to think that I'd crossed a boundary. I didn't want him to feel the need to lie to me. If there was something he didn't want me to know… I wasn't really okay with it, but I could wait.

He cleared his throat before speaking.

"There's not much to tell really. I told you I dated a couple of girls in high school even though I really wasn't interested in them. I couldn't understand what the big deal was. They seemed nice. My older brother talked about girls all the time so, of course, I felt like I needed to show him that I was into girls too. He showed me where he hid his spank bank… mostly porn magazines. He told me I could borrow them as long and Mama and Daddy never found out about them. He described what it was like to touch a girl's soft breasts and put your fingers inside their hot, wet pussy. I can't tell you how much that grossed me out. I also had to hear all the gory details about the first time he got laid. I tried to be cool about it, but inside the whole idea freaked me out.

"He set me up with my first date, a sweet girl named Annalisa. I went out with her a couple of times. She was pretty and we kissed, but that was all. Kissing her did nothing for me. She tasted like Juicy Fruit gum."

As he droned on, my mind started wandering. I really didn't want to hear about his adventures in Pussyland, but I loved watching his mouth move as he talked. It had me thinking about how much I wanted to kiss him. My hands were itching to touch his beautiful face. Jasper had the widest mouth and plumpest lips I'd ever seen on a man. They were made for sucking cock. They tasted pretty good too. That led to me thinking about our lovemaking earlier today. And that made my dick twitch. I wiggled in my seat trying to discretely adjust myself.

But it wasn't just physical attraction that I felt for him. There was more. I was really glad that Alice pushed me into meeting him. She was right. Jasper's perfect for me.

_Wait. What's he saying?_

"…had my zipper open and was down on her knees. I was so humiliated when she reached in and pulled out my dick. It was limp and there was nothing I could do about it. It just hung there. Heidi sucked and stroked it for a long time, but finally gave up and started crying."

_Oh. He's still talking about girls._

I probably shouldn't have pressed for this information. It's not like I really cared. I just enjoyed listening to his voice. There was something soothing about its deepness. His laugh was contagious and the faces he was making were priceless.

"…inside I knew that I never wanted to put my cock near a girl's mouth or vagina again."

_Eww… What did I miss? Did he put his mouth on her vagina?_

I started laughing. He looked at me and chuckled.

_At last… Like the sun, that smile could burn off the heaviest clouds._

"Seriously, I was so fucking confused. One day we were undressing to get into the showers after gym and I realized that I had been staring at my naked best friend… and I was getting hard. I was so fucking scared that someone would notice that I quickly wrapped a towel around my waist and ran to the restroom to hide. I didn't leave the restroom until everyone had gone. I skipped the rest of my classes and went home. That was the day that I finally accepted what I had been suspecting for a while. I couldn't tell anyone. My parents… my brother… they're the biggest bigots. I was so fucking miserable until I graduated and moved here."

"Wow. That's terrible. So… when you came out in college… what?" I prompted.

_This is the part I'd been waiting for._

"I finally felt free. I met a couple of guys in my dorm who were gay and started going to clubs with them to meet other guys. I wasn't really ready to hook up with anyone yet and the guys at the clubs… well, that's all they seemed interested in. Then I met Jared, a really sweet guy that was in my art class. Jared was a swimmer on the school team and was finishing up his last semester before he graduated. We started out as friends, going to lunch and coffee. He took me clubbing. He was experienced and very gentle. He made sure my first time was special. After he graduated he moved away and I lost track of him."

Surprisingly, I noticed that we were pulling into my driveway already. He parked the car and started to open his door, but I stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"So that's it? You've only been with one guy?" I asked incredulously. That didn't make any sense. He was too gorgeous. There had to be guys lined up to go out with him.

Handing me my keys, he sat back and laid his head against the headrest. "He was just the first guy that meant anything. I've hooked up with other guys since then. Some I met at clubs, some I met at school. I barely remember their names." He paused and swallowed. I watched, mesmerized by the bobbing of his Adam's apple. His blue eyes seemed a little glazed as they bore into mine. "The only real boyfriend I've ever had was Seth… Seth Clearwater. Actually, I met him through Jared. He was Jared's personal trainer. We dated for a few months before we moved in together."

_Hold up. I know that name._

"How long were you together?" I asked, trying to conjure up a face to go with the name.

He shrugged. "Almost a year."

_Didn't Riley date a guy with that name? Holy shit! Now I remember._

I had never seen Seth, but I had heard plenty about him. He was a notorious player. "What happened to him?" I felt guilty for even asking and wondered if Seth had dumped Jasper the same way he had Riley.

"We broke up." He bit his lower lip and cast his eyes away from me.

I tilted my head to the side trying to get him to look up. For some reason his reaction was annoying me. "I figured that much out by myself." His eyes shot up. He looked hurt, and I suddenly felt like such an ass. In a gentler tone, I asked, "So… A swimmer and then a personal trainer? You really go for the athletic types. Why did you break up?"

He closed his eyes and then I saw it. His jaw tensed for a second and he swallowed thickly. "Things just didn't work out. I fell in love with him, but when I told him he said that he didn't believe in love. What I was feeling was just lust. Naively, I thought I could change his mind. We argued a lot. Seth is very attractive and very flirty."

_So I've heard._

"He's full of energy and loves to dance and socialize. He has a lot of friends. If I was too tired to go clubbing, he'd go alone. Between the gym and the clubs… I guess I was always jealous, worried that he'd find someone else. The jealousy got to be too much. One time he didn't get home until morning. I knew what he'd been doing. I could smell the sex on him. We fought. I was so furious I threw a lamp at him. He walked out on me that day and moved in with a friend. I begged him to come back, but he told me we were done. I couldn't afford the apartment on my own, so Garrett took pity on me and let me move in with him."

He closed his eyes again, trying to hide his emotions from me, but I could see everything. The pain was clearly written across his entire body. He sat stiffly and with his head lowered. His nostrils flared, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. He shook his head and took in a cleansing breath.

"Sorry Edward. I usually try not to think about stuff like this," he mumbled as he stared into his lap.

"Are you still in love with him?" I asked in a throaty whisper. I wasn't sure it was such a great idea to ask, but I couldn't help myself. I needed to know.

His head jerked up and he looked at me fiercely. Taking my hand, he stated firmly, "No. Thinking about it still hurts, but I don't love him anymore. We've both moved on."

He squeezed my hand tightly. I knew he wanted me to see his sincerity, but now I was the one who had to look away. I felt so conflicted. I guess I was feeling some jealousy. There was a little niggling in the back of my mind warning me to be careful.

_I can't let myself get sucked into something that I'm going to regret. I don't know if I can handle the pain._

"Let's go inside," I murmured after several long seconds.

He let out a long breath and let go of my hand. We stepped out of the car. The air was thick with humidity. He hurried around to my side of the car and tried to put his arm around my shoulders, but I had to pull away. I needed some distance for the moment.

_It's just part of his past. Everyone is entitled to a past. But what if it's not? What if he can't admit to himself that he still has feelings for Seth?_

As I slowly trudged ahead of him my cell phone began ringing. I pulled it out of my front pocket. Glancing at the screen, I sighed before I answered it.

_Great timing._

"Hey, Dad," I said as cheerfully as I could. Standing stiffly by my side, I was consciously aware that Jasper could make out my father's deep voice.

"_Edward, where are you?" Dad demanded in his most serious voice._

_Fuck._

"I'm at home," I answered truthfully.

"Don't lie to me Edward. I just called the house and Adelena said you had gone out." I hated when he spoke to me with this voice. He was usually so gentle. This voice always scared the shit out of me.

"I just got home. I went out for a little while." I frowned and rolled my eyes.

_Here it comes._

I could hear my mother's voice in the background. She sounded frantic.

"Where did you go?" Dad asked.

"Just to the coffee shop." I gritted my teeth. There was another pause as Dad took in a deep breath.

"Do you realize how dangerous that was? Why can't you do what we asked? We asked you to stay indoors while we were gone. Simple instructions, Edward. We have no idea what Felix is up to these days. The PI I hired has lost track of him." Dad sounded completely exasperated.

"There was never any danger. He hasn't tried to contact me in weeks." I assured him, raking the fingers of my free hand through my hair. I pulled the ends in frustration.

"Adelena told me that you were with someone. Who was it?" he demanded.

"Jasper." I answered. I turned and noticed that Jasper was staring at me, nervously. It wasn't fair to talk about him like this. I rolled my eyes again and then pressed the speaker button. I held the phone out so that he could hear the conversation.

_I hope I don't regret this._

Dad was still ranting. "…cannot understand what you could possibly be thinking. Is it true that he spent the night in your bed? Edward, we have talked about this. Getting involved in a relationship is not good for you right now. Physically you are not completely healed, and you don't need any more emotional stress. I don't want him staying at the house with you."

_That does it._

I could feel heat flush my face with anger. "You don't know what I need! In fact, you don't know anything! It's not your decision!" I shouted vehemently. I could tell my face was bright red and I gasped for breath. Glancing at Jasper, I could see that he was shocked. I immediately calmed myself before adding, "I'm not a child. I know how to take care of myself. Anyway, he won't be staying here again because I'm moving back to my place today."

Dad let out an exasperated breath. There was a long pause before he replied in a placating voice. "As usual you are overreacting, Edward. We both need to cool down. We'll talk about this on Wednesday. I have to go now. I expect you to be there when we get home. Do not go out again. And be sure to take your medication."

_FUCK. YOU._

"Goodbye." I said pushing the 'END' button on his phone and turning it off. I stared at it for a minute wondering if I'd pushed him too far. He was just worried about me.

_Fuck, I don't care anymore._

I angrily shoved it into the front pocket of my jeans. Jasper was staring at me with wide eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked nervously.

I shook my head and unlocked the front door to let us inside. "I hate it when he talks down to me. They treat me like I'm twelve. I need to get out of here."

As we walked into the foyer, Adelena appeared on the staircase.

"Oh, Eduardo, your daddy call. He wants for you to call him." She informed us in her broken English. She stared at us for a moment and then continued up the stairs, swaying her wide hips.

"Yes. I know. Thanks." I said loudly and then in a lower voice that only Jasper could hear grumbled, "…for nothing."

I was so fucking angry. I knew I had an ugly scowl on my face. Poor Jasper. I hated that he'd witnessed this.

I led us up to my room and pulled out my duffle bags from under the bed.

"Need any help?" he asked sweetly as he sat on the edge of my bed.

I shook my head, too afraid to speak. I might snap at him and where would that get me? I went into the bathroom and gathered up my toiletries and medications. My mind began to swirl with thoughts of Riley and Seth and Dad's words. I could feel my joints in my hands begin to lock up, a sign that I was getting ready to go into a full-blown panic attack. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Panting heavily, I quickly opened the bottle of Xanax and popped a tablet into my mouth.

Closing the bathroom door, I pretended to use the toilet. I couldn't let Jasper see me this way. I sat down on the toilet lid and lowered my head between my knees taking deep breaths. My hands were shaking and I could feel sweat dripping down the sides of my face.

After twenty minutes, I felt better and stood up. Jasper was knocking on the bathroom door.

_How long has he been knocking?_

"Are you okay in there?" he asked a little panicky.

I flushed the toilet to keep the charade going. "Yeah. Yeah. I'll be out in a minute." I waited a bit and then opened the door. Jasper was standing there with my guitar in his hand. He looked worried.

"You don't look okay, Edward," he said solemnly. He reached up and stroked my cheekbone with his thumb. I could feel the cool air hitting my wet face. "You've been crying."

"No. I just wasn't feeling well. I threw up." I lied. I could tell he didn't believe me. I gathered up my toiletries and medications once more and brushed by him to finish packing.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" he asked again.

"Nah. I can do this myself. You can play around on my guitar if you want. We could use some music." I offered with a weak smile.

I walked over to the closet and began pulling out my clothes and shoes. I stuffed them unceremoniously into my duffle bags as he sat back down on the bed and started plucking out random riffs on my guitar.

"Anything in particular you want to hear?" he asked as he strummed.

"Do you still see him? Seth…I mean." I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He grimaced, making me wish I'd kept my mouth shut. "Yeah. He comes to our gigs every now and then. He's usually with someone or a group of people. We're still civil with each other."

"I'm sorry I brought that up." I said as I zipped up one of my duffle bags wishing I could just zip myself up in the bag.

"Hey, why are we talking about him anyway?" he complained, "Now about that song…"

"Something cheerful." I answered, plopping down on the edge of the bed next to him. I really needed a distraction. I ran a hand through my hair. It was still soaking wet.

_I can't wait to get out of here._

Jasper's sweet and sexy voice cut through my thoughts.

**Today I don't feel like doing anything****  
****I just wanna lay in my bed****  
****Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone****  
****'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything**

**I'm gonna kick my feet up then stare at the fan****  
****Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants****  
****Nobody's gon' tell me I can't**

**I'll be lounging on the couch just chilling in my Snuggie****  
****Click to MTV so they can teach me how to dougie****  
****'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man**

**Oh yes, I said it, I said it****  
****I said it 'cause I can**

**Today I don't feel like doing anything****  
****I just wanna lay in my bed****  
****Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone****  
****'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything****  
****Nothing at all, nothing at all**

**Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X****  
****Find a really nice guy, have some really nice sex****  
****And he's gonna scream out****  
****This is great**

**Yeah, I might mess around****  
****And get my college degree****  
****I bet my old man will be so proud of me****  
****But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait**

**Oh yes, I said it, I said it****  
****I said it 'cause I can**

**Today I don't feel like doing anything****  
****I just wanna lay in my bed****  
****Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone****  
****'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything**

**No, I ain't gonna comb my hair****  
****'Cause I ain't going anywhere****  
****No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no**

**I'll just strut in my birthday suit****  
****And let everything hang loose****  
****Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah****  
****Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah**

**Oh, today I don't feel like doing anything****  
****I just wanna lay in my bed****  
****Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone****  
****'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything**

**Nothing at all****…**

Before he could finish the last lines, I crashed my lips against his, knocking him over and practically breaking the guitar.

"I guess that means you liked it," he said, chuckling and pushing me off so that he could safely put the guitar over to the side.

_What the fuck's wrong with me?_

I sat back up, embarrassed that I'd acted so foolishly. He sat up and arched an eyebrow.**  
****  
**"Didn't mean to make you think I didn't like the interruption," he admitted with a shit-eating grin. "Hey, baby, your mood swings are giving me whiplash."

I stared at the carpet for a moment, toeing it with my shoe, before I finally spoke. "I have to apologize. I'm sorry I let you hear my dad acting like a controlling asshole. He's not always like that. I shouldn't have put my phone on speaker."

He leaned the guitar against the nightstand. Turning his body to me, he cupped my face in both hands so I would look at him. He licked his lips seductively and began kissing me everywhere. He started with my lips, then my eyes, then the tip of my nose, then my jaw. When he reached my earlobe he sucked it in and tongued it back and forth in his hot mouth. Instinctively, my arms went around his waist and I heard myself groan loudly as I buried my head into his shoulder. If he was trying to distract me, it was working.

"I don't want to talk about your father right now," he stated, gently pressing me down on my back. He lay down on his side next to me resting his head on his hand. His other hand moved slowly over my chest pausing at my nipples and rubbing them roughly with his palm.

"Wanna fuck?" he asked as he kissed along the long muscles of my neck.

I smiled and sighed. "Wish we could, but not right now, babe. I want to get out of here." The anxiety that I'd felt earlier had all but disappeared. He made me feel so relaxed and loved. I eased my hand under his shirt. His skin was warm and inviting. I lightly ran my fingertips along the muscles of his torso until I reached one of his pebbled nipples. I pinched it and he groaned.

"Oh, gawwwwd! Keep that up and we'll never get out of here," he moaned, closing his eyes as I began rolling his nipple between my thumb and forefinger. "No more teasing." He pushed my hand away and sat up, pulling me up with him.

"It would serve Adelena right to have to clean up my cum-covered comforter again. Fucking tattle-tale," I said. Jasper threw his head back and laughed.

_Damn, I love that sound._

Standing up, I grabbed one of my duffle bags. Jasper picked up my guitar and the other duffle and we headed out of the room and down the stairs. Adelena must have left for the day because we didn't run into her.

_Good. I don't need another call from Dad._

We loaded up the Volvo, and Jasper asked me if I could manage moving the stuff back in on my own. He had a few errands to run before heading home. I was a little disappointed, but I knew it would be good to get a little space between us for a little while.

_I hope he doesn't start to think that hanging around me is not worth the trouble._

I leaned over and kissed those delicious pink lips. "Call me later?"

He leaned his forehead against mine and said, "I have an idea. Let's go out tonight."

"Go out? You mean like a date?" I was surprised.

"Yeah… You are allowed to date, right?" He joked with a silly grin.

I had to laugh, although on one level it wasn't really funny. I wanted to be happy. I didn't want to live in fear. "I'd love to go out."

"Be ready at seven for dinner and dancing," he ordered, squeezing my ass with both hands and pecking me on the lips before quickly walking away. I watched his retreating figure as I touched my lips with the tip of my forefinger. They were tingling.

As I drove down the highway, I couldn't help grinning like a fool. I pressed down on the gas pedal and pushed the engine to 80 miles per hour, passing several slow cars. My mind chanted a mantra over and over again.

_I'm getting laid tonight._

**oOoOo**

True to his word, Jasper picked me up at exactly 7 p.m. I had been waiting at a table inside the shop, with a clear view of the parking lot. When he parked the truck and stepped out of the cab, my mouth fell open. Dressed in tight low-slung black jeans, cowboy boots, and a light-blue button-down with the sleeves rolled up, he strode purposefully to the door. He winked and smiled when he noticed me. I opened the door for him, but instead of entering he stopped in the doorway and casually leaned against the doorjamb with his arms crossed. His belt was adorned with a large and ornate silver buckle which served to emphasize his bulging groin.

_Holy shit!_

"Ready to go?" he asked with a cocky grin on his face. I suddenly realized, much to my embarrassment, that I'd been staring at him for at least a minute and hadn't said a word.

"Ummm… Y-y-yeah. You want me to drive?" I squeaked. I could feel the heat on my cheeks.

"Absolutely, not," he said with a laugh. He straightened up and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to him. Kissing me soundly on the lips, he murmured, "You look good enough to eat, darlin' and I am a very hungry man right now."

Relaxing into his embrace, I chuckled and kissed him back. "Well, don't let me stop you."

"Mmm… tempting as that sounds, I think I'll save you for dessert. Right now we have dinner reservations for 7:30, so we better get moving."

We ate at a very romantic Italian restaurant within walking distance of the night club we were going to. The food was delicious and, although I couldn't partake of the wine, Jasper drank enough for the both of us. Since we weren't driving to the club, I wasn't too worried.

As we walked to the club with our hands entwined, I thought about how nervous I normally felt about walking around at night. Tonight, however, the warmth of his strong hand seemed to ground me and I felt very safe. Without warning, he suddenly stopped. My arm jerked back and my eyes went wide.

"I almost forgot," he said, pulling something out of his front pocket. With a bashful expression, he opened his hand and showed me a small, braided leather wrist lanyard with a sterling silver clasp.

I was too stunned to say anything as he pulled up my left arm and fastened the bracelet on my wrist.

"So… what do you think?" he asked quietly.

"I-I think it's beautiful, but..." I stammered. My mind was racing. I knew I liked him. I like him a lot, but I wasn't sure I was ready to make any kind of commitment.

_What is he saying by giving this to me?_

"Not as beautiful as you," he said seriously. "It's just a small gift. Nothing to get worried about, okay?"

I nodded, biting my lower lip. "Thank you, Jasper. I don't know what to say."

"Thank you is enough. I hope that you'll think of me when you wear it. That's all." He planted a kiss on my cheek and then grabbed my hand. "Let's go."

He pulled me along until we reached the club. We first walked over to the bar where Jasper gleefully downed a couple of shots of Patron and a beer while I sipped on a bottle of water.

The room was throbbing with half-naked boys dancing to the deafening music. In the pulsing lights, sweat-glistened bodies writhed in a mass that appeared to be a living organism. The heat was stifling on the dance floor, and the air was thick with the smell of body odor, stale cologne and sex.

But after thirty minutes none of that mattered because Jasper had his chest pressed against my back and we were swaying to the music in the middle of the dance floor. It had been ages since I'd been out dancing and it felt so good. We had stripped out of our shirts after the first ten minutes and the feel of his bare muscular chest moving against my back had me hard and aching. Of course, it didn't help that he was palming my jean-clad erection with one of his hands while the other rubbed up and down my torso.

My hands had found their way back to grasp his ass cheeks and we moved in perfect synchronization. I turned my head back as far as I could and he took the hint by kissing me passionately. Opening my mouth, his tongue swept in, devouring me. I could taste the alcohol on his breath and chuckled.

_I think my Jasper is a little drunk._

"I need some water," he shouted in my ear. I nodded knowing that he wouldn't hear me over the music if I tried to speak. He grabbed my hand and we stumbled through the throng of people.

At the edge of the dance floor, we were fortunate to find a small empty table.

"Sit here and I'll get something from the bar. Do you want some water too or would you rather have a soft drink?" he asked as I sat down.

"A Sprite or 7-Up for me," I answered, as I put my shirt back on. He put his shirt on and smiled, kissing me before he walked off, weaving through the large crowd standing around the bar. I laughed as I watched his retreating figure.

_Have a good day at work, honey._

I entertained myself by watching the dancers until I became acutely aware that Jasper had been gone for at least 20 minutes. I didn't want to give up our table, but I was getting worried. I turned to look in the direction of the bar every few minutes, but the crowd was so heavy I couldn't see anything.

I decided to send him a text message asking him if everything was okay. I got no response.

_What if something's happened to him? Don't be ridiculous… what could happen?_

Another fretful 10 minutes passed without a sign from Jasper. I decided we didn't need the table that badly and I got up to go look for him. Pushing my way through the throng of sweaty bodies, I finally made it to the bar. I looked around, but couldn't see him.

I could feel my heart begin to pound. I needed to calm down or I'd start to panic. Moving along the edge of the bar, I scanned every corner.

_Maybe he went to the restroom. Oh crap! I hope he's not sick._

I started walking faster in the direction of the restroom. That's when I spotted a tall blonde head leaning against a wall. Breathing a sigh of relief, I made my way to him.

As I neared him, I noticed that he wasn't alone. An attractive Native American man appeared to be purring in his ear while pressed up against Jasper's chest and grinding his hips seductively. The man was medium height and slender, but very muscular. As I got closer I could see that he had a handsome face with a straight nose, strong jaw-line, russet-colored skin and long, black hair which he had pulled back in a ponytail. I stopped short and watched in horror as the man grabbed Jasper around the neck and pulled him down for a passionate kiss.

My hand shot up to cover my mouth just as Jasper locked eyes with me. I could feel the bile rising up in my throat.

"Edward!" he cried out. "Wait!"

The next thing I was aware of was that I was kneeling outside in an alley, throwing up my fancy Italian dinner. Jasper found me as I was gasping with dry heaves.

"Edward?" he asked timidly, "Are you okay?"

"What do you think, Asshole?" I shot back weakly as I sat back and leaned against the wall. "Just go away. Leave me alone." I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths.

_I need to go home._

I pulled my phone out and called the only person I could trust. I hated having to ask Alice for her help, but at least I knew she would be discreet.

I tried hard not to break down as I asked her to pick me up, but I must have sounded pathetic. I told her that Jasper was drunk and I refused to ride with him. It was the truth. She said she'd pick me up in 20 minutes. The taste of vomit was still in my mouth and I almost gagged.

When I looked up, Jasper was sitting across the alley listening, but said nothing. After I hung up, he tried to talk to me again.

"Edward, at least let me explain," he begged. "Seth… "

_Seth. It figures._

I snorted loudly.

"Fuck you! I don't want to hear your explanation." I wrapped my arms around my knees and lowered my head to my chest. Twisting my hands over my wrists, I felt the wrist lanyard he had given me earlier that evening. I tore it off my wrist and threw it at him. "Keep your fucking present. I don't want it."

Alice and Garrett arrived sooner than I thought possible. I ignored their disheveled appearances. Alice was wearing a pair of boxers that I assumed belonged to Garrett and a tee shirt that was at least 4 sizes too large. I didn't care if I'd interrupted something. I was being too selfish to care.

Garrett helped Jasper up and started walking with him back to his truck so that he could drive him home.

I could tell that Alice knew something terrible had happened, but as much as it must have bothered her, she didn't say a word as we drove to my apartment.

When I climbed out of her car, she finally spoke.

"I'm so sorry Edward. Do you want me to come in with you? We can talk about it if you want," she offered.

I shook my head and put on a fake smile, "I'll be fine. See you tomorrow?" I turned quickly and marched to the door. I didn't want to see her sympathetic face.

When I finally made it upstairs, I ran to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I contemplated taking a shower to wash the filth off of me but decided I was too tired. I stripped off my clothes and threw them into the hamper. Staring into the mirror, I recognized that look. Anguish. My eyes were red and puffy and my shoulders were slumped. My hair was clumped and filthy, sticking out in all directions.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

I ignored all the warnings, and now I was suffering the consequences. I had no one to blame but myself for this mess. I walked back to the bed and threw myself on it, finally allowing myself to give in to my grief. I buried my head into the pillow and cried myself to sleep.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Wow! I have been humbled by the number of alerts, favorites and reviews for this story. ***blush*** Thanks for giving my boys a chance to tell their story.

As always, my thanks goes to **BbEyedGirl **for her awesome beta work and to the lovely** sapphirescribe **for prereading this chapter and calming my nerves. ILY both. Mwah!

**Disclaimers: **All Twilight characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer and any Twilight movie references are owned by Summit Entertainment, et al.

"I Saw the Light" was written by Todd Harry Rundgren. "Redneck 12 Days of Christmas" written by Doug Grau, Scott Rouse, Timothy Collins Wilson and Jeff Foxworthy.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

As I stumbled out of my bedroom on Saturday morning, the pleasant fragrance of pine invaded my senses. It was a clean and refreshing scent, the scent of hope and peace and all that's good in this world.

Hah! I shook my head. I wasn't fooled. I'd known for a long time that hope was an evil bitch. Just when you think you have it, it leaves you stranded, laughing in your face. 'You're a worthless fuckup,' it says before disappearing. I'd never felt more hopeless in my life.

_Four fucking months._

The Christmas tree stood haplessly in the corner of the living room, listing to one side, a wreath of brown pine needles circling its base like pyre waiting to be lit. I had told Garrett that it was crooked when he and Alice dragged it home. He laughed and said it gave it character. Made it special. Alice said that even an ugly tree needs love at Christmas.

_Bullshit. What the fuck's wrong with them? Who feels sorry for a tree?_

They probably found it discarded by the side of the road. Regardless, they cheerfully decorated it with paper chains, popcorn strung on fishing line and, best of all, Alice's homemade ornaments made of hundreds, maybe thousands, of condom wrappers.

_Have they used that many or did she salvage them from the backroom floor of a local gay club? After all, Alice was definitely into recycling._

Multicolored twinkling lights and stacks of brightly colored packages surrounded it. In the evenings, they made out in front of the tree and sipped cups of hot chocolate.

_He and Alice were fucking happy… or happily fucking. Whatever._

I trekked into the kitchen where there came a more enticing smell, the smell of fresh coffee. One nice thing about Alice living here was the coffee. She made a large pot every morning. Well, that wasn't the only nice thing. She also kept the kitchen spotless and who would have guessed that the little imp was a better cook than Garrett? No wonder he was in love with her.

_Where the fuck are they, anyway?_

I poured myself a cup and rummaged around in the refrigerator looking for something to eat. It was pretty sad. There were a few take-out cartons of leftover Chinese and a dried out bagel.

_Chinese it is._

I randomly picked out one of the cartons and opened it up, sniffing the contents.

_Lo Mein._

Shrugging, I sat at the table and looked out into the yard as I ate straight out of the carton with a plastic fork. A thin layer of snow had lightly blanketed the ground during the night. The scene might have been pretty if it hadn't started raining… or sleeting or whatever the hell it was doing out there.

_I wonder what time it is._

The hot coffee helped lift my cranky spirit. Not everything was as bad as I made it out to be. We were still living in the house. Thanks to Garrett's brilliant idea and power of negotiation, the landlord agreed to let us stay if we worked odd jobs for him at his other properties. He mostly had us painting and doing minor repairs. He knew he would have trouble renting out this house due to its remote location. I mean, where else would he find a couple of idiots like us. It was a 'win-win'. We got to stay for free and he got free labor… well, not free. Just dirt cheap.

In fact Garrett had been a busy boy. He and Peter worked hard to get us several regular gigs at clubs in Seattle and Tacoma. We were actually gaining popularity, drawing larger crowds each time we played. We even landed a few gigs in Portland.

Our little music-lesson business, Music on the Move, was fairly successful too. We went to people's homes instead of working out of a storefront. It was fine. Our customers were mostly teens dreaming about becoming rock stars. We weren't exactly rolling in cash, but we were doing all right. It was enough to pay our utilities and groceries and still have a little left over.

All in all, things were looking up.

_You'd think I'd be happy._

I made the decision not to go home for Thanksgiving. Told the folks I was busy working. Truth was that I was worried they'd sniff out my depression and harass me until I told them what was bothering me. Mama could be worse than a hunting dog with a treed raccoon once she sniffed out trouble. She never gave up. I hated lying to them. Needless to say, they were not happy. Mama kept phoning and I kept ignoring her calls. I had nothing to say and I didn't want to argue about coming home for Christmas. I sure as hell didn't want to talk to Daddy.

_I'm so tired._

Sleeping was nearly impossible. I jerked off nearly every night to happy memories of that first afternoon in Edward's apartment. Just remembering the taste of his plump, red lips and the feel of his thick, smooth cock made me come faster than a thirteen year old boy. My heart pounded so hard, I thought it might explode. Afterwards, I was physically drained, but it didn't help. If I closed my eyes, I knew that I would dream about that night again. I felt as though I was slowly losing my mind. Would I ever stop dreaming about him?

I closed my eyes and sighed, remembering that night.

_Garrett was so pissed at me. "Fuck my life." It was all I could think of as I drunkenly followed him to the truck that night. We walked in silence the whole way. Well, he walked. I stumbled. However, once we were seated in the cab and I'd handed my keys over to him, he could no longer restrain himself._

"_Dude, what the fuck?" he asked angrily, as he turned the key in the ignition and the truck sputtered to life._

_I couldn't answer. The words seemed to catch in my throat. I simply shrugged my shoulders and laid my head back, closing my eyes and wishing to hell that I could start the evening over again. My head was spinning and I was beginning to feel nauseated._

"_Why couldn't he drive you back to his place? Alice and I were busy… you know what I mean. What… he's pissed 'cause you got drunk? He couldn't call a cab?"_

"_I wish that was all he was pissed about," I muttered grimly. He shot a curious look at me, but said nothing. I owed him a better explanation. "I ran into Seth at the club."_

_He whipped his head around and looked at me with wide eyes. "Did he talk to you? What the hell did he want? I thought that was over ages ago."_

"_It was." I felt a tear roll down my cheek so I quickly bit down on my bottom lip to stop any more from escaping. "He said he just wanted to talk. He wanted me to know that he missed me. He wanted things to go back to the way they were. I was so fucking drunk. Edward walked up just as Seth pushed me up against the wall and kissed me. Trust me. I did not see that coming. By the time I knocked him out of the way, Edward was running out of the club. When I caught up with him, he wouldn't let me explain."_

_Garrett was quiet for a long time. "That is so fucked up. You have to make it right, Jazz," he whispered, shaking his head._

"_I know," I said, as I stared out into the blackness._

_We didn't speak again. I couldn't even look at him. I could feel the heavy weight of his pity bearing down on me. As soon as we got home, I brushed my teeth and took a hot shower. I needed to scour off of me the grime from the alley and the filth from Seth's hands and mouth. After scrubbing myself thoroughly, I sat down and let the spray wash down on my head until the water ran cold. I dried myself off and wrapped a towel around my waist._

_I padded into my bedroom and picked up my cell phone, hoping I had a message from him. I tried calling him, but my call went straight to voice mail._

_**YOU KNOW WHO YOU CALLED. YOU KNOW WHAT TO SAY.**_

_The sound of his velvety voice broke my heart. He had turned his phone off. Wallowing in misery, I carried the phone outside and climbed up on the roof. I needed to think. I took my towel off and laid it on the shingles before sitting down. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them and punched in his number again. This time I left a message._

"_Babe, I'm so sorry. What you saw… it's not what you're thinking. Call me back. Please. I need to talk to you."_

_Dropping the phone next to me, I laid my forehead down on my knees. As I rocked back and forth, I tried to think of ways to make him understand._

_Needless to say, I never heard from him again. I must have left hundreds of messages since then._

_Talking to Alice and Garrett the next day didn't help either. Alice told me that Edward refused to talk about it except to say that we were finished. End of story._

_It didn't stop her from trying anyway. The last I'd heard was that he would talk to her about anything as long as she didn't mention my name. Great._

"Hey Jazz," Alice's voice broke me from my reverie and made me jump a little in my chair.

After I caught my breath, I replied. "Alice. Garrett." She and Garrett were unloading groceries from a few large paper bags.

"Are you okay? You looked like you were pretty far away," she said tilting her head as she handed the milk and eggs to Garrett. "Want some breakfast before you go? I'm making omelets."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Where am I going?"

"You have a guitar lesson this morning, Jazz. The little Yorkie kid?" Garrett chuckled, apparently having a little fun at my expense.

"Oh yeah. That little dweeb. Forgot. I'll pay you a thousand dollars if you'll do it for me," I offered.

"You don't have a thousand dollars, Jazz," Garrett laughed, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"I know," I said resigned. "I sure hope he took a shower this time. Last time he smelled like piss. I'll bet he pees in his bed. 10:30, right? What time is it?"

"10:00," he answered, checking his watch.

"Shit. I've gotta go." I drained the rest of my coffee and headed back to the bedroom to get dressed.

_For thirty bucks, I can smell piss for an hour._

**oOoOo**

Instead of going home after the lesson, I found myself parked not far from the Cullen Coffee Shop. I had a perfect view of the inside. Disturbingly, this was something that had become a habit the last couple of months. It was pathetic, but I couldn't go one day without at least a glimpse of him. I never went in. I wasn't sure I could handle his rejection so publicly.

_Shit! I'm a fucking stalker._

Since it was Saturday, the place was not very busy. The few patrons that came in seemed to be students that lived nearby. Occasionally, I would see his copper head bobbing around in the back of the shop. I imagined myself going in and talking to him. In my daydream, he would be stunned to see me again. He would tell me how much he missed me and how glad he was that I came back to him. He would push me up against the wall and kiss me with so much passion, I would stop breathing. He would drag me upstairs where we would have amazing make-up sex for hours and hours. He would tell me that he loved me.

My thoughts froze.

_Why did I think that? Am I in love with him?_

I remember wondering about that once before, but I had just shrugged it off. After what happened with Seth, I never wanted to fall in love again. In my mind, love brought nothing but pain. Being in love was too scary to even think about.

_Is that what's going on? Am I too afraid to tell him how I feel?_

I angrily banged my hands against the steering wheel. It certainly helped explain why I couldn't get over him. Looking up, I saw him serving a couple of people near the front window. Something they said made him laugh. I could almost see his green eyes sparkle from here. I wrapped my hands around my waist and wished desperately that I could cup them around his beautiful face and kiss him.

_Could you ever love me, Edward? I miss you so fucking much._

I let my mind drift away again.

_We laid on his bed, our bodies tangled together in passion. "I want you," I groaned as I nibbled on his Adam's apple before crashing my mouth against his. He opened his mouth and I plunged my tongue in, ravishing him greedily. I pushed a hand under his neck to hold his head steady and I lightly ran my hand down the side of his body. I could feel the hair standing up on his arms. He whimpered. Curling my hands under his calf, I rolled him on his side and hitched his leg over my thigh. Sparks of sensation ran up my spine. "I need you, Edward. I need you so badly right now."_

_I lifted myself on an elbow just enough to allow one of my hands between us so I could palm the bulge in his pants. I squeezed him gently and I heard him gasp._

"_More," he pleaded. I looked down at him. His lust-filled eyes were half-lidded and I felt as though I were falling into their dark depths. I leaned in and ravished his mouth with my tongue._

_For several minutes we continued to kiss and grind our cocks together, our hands combing over every inch of our bodies and slowly removing clothing until we were skin-to-skin._

_Edward's skin was the color of sweet cream. It felt like smooth satin stretched over lean muscle. I pulled myself away so that I could take in all of his beauty. The tip of his thick and heavy cock peeked out from its foreskin enticingly. I bent down to taste the salty pearl along the slit. I flattened my tongue and ran it along the entire length of his penis. He shivered in approval and tangled his hands in my curly hair, holding me there for several minutes. I lapped and sucked his cock eagerly before he released my head and allowed me to make my way back up his torso, licking and nibbling everywhere my lips touched. I paused for a few moments to suck and lightly bite his nipples, savoring their taste and feel. He was so responsive, groaning loudly and arching his back, wordlessly communicating his desperate need._

_When I finally entered him, the sensation was almost too much. A hot, tight and smooth tunnel welcomed me. He clenched around me in ecstasy as I plunged us into oblivion._

I rubbed my palm over my jean-clad erection for some relief. As I sat there dreaming about making love to the most beautiful man on the planet, I suddenly realized I was cold. In fact, I was freezing. My toes were numb. I hadn't even noticed that it had started raining again. A foggy coating on my windshield distorted my view of the shop. Glancing down at my watch, I noticed that it was already 4:30.

_I can't believe I've wasted another afternoon sitting here daydreaming._

Using the sleeve of my coat, I rubbed the moisture from the windshield just in time to see Angela hugging Edward in the doorway. My stomach clenched jealously, wishing it was me he was embracing. It was closing time. One more wave and Edward shut the door and turned off the OPEN sign. Angela opened an umbrella and scurried off to her car.

_You can't do this anymore. Grow a pair, Whitlock. Make an effort._

Before I could talk myself out of it, I threw open the door to the truck. The icy rain was coming down in sheets. I pulled the hood of my coat over my head, pulled the strap of my guitar over my shoulder and ran across the parking lot. Splashing through slushy puddles, I was soaked before I made it under the awning.

I was shivering and my teeth were chattering. Peeking into the shop, I could see him moving around in the back. The lights were already off in the front of the store. I pounded on the door and saw him turn his head, but he didn't move. I banged on the door more forcefully.

_Come on, Edward. Open up._

He started moving slowly to the front. While he was still several feet from the door, he stopped short. It was apparent that he recognized me. His brow furrowed before he lowered his eyes to the floor, biting down on his lower lip.

_Damn. He's so beautiful._

It felt like ages since I'd been this close to him. My heart was thundering in my chest.

"We're closed," he said, slowly turning his back to me. I wasn't sure if I was shaking from hearing his voice again or because I was cold.

"Let me in. I just want to talk to you," I begged. I pressed my hands up against the door.

He shook his head but didn't walk away.

I slapped the door twice with both hands. "Come on, Edward. Please. I'm freezing out here. Five minutes. That's all I need."

He turned around slowly. Keeping his head lowered, he walked towards me. He hesitated for a few seconds, taking a deep breath before unlocking and opening the door a couple of inches.

"What do you want from me, Jasper?" he asked quietly. His eyes were still fixed on the ground as though he was afraid to look at me.

"Anything?" His eyes shot up and he blinked in surprise. I paused before adding, "Can I come in… please?"

Keeping his head lowered, he nodded once and stepped aside as he opened the door. The blast of heat from the shop hit my face. As I pulled my hood off, my mind was racing. This could be my only chance.

_Make it good._

I walked over to a table, my boots squishing loudly, and sat down. I leaned my guitar against the chair next to me and motioned for him to sit with me.

He shut the door and approached the table at a snail's pace.

"Five minutes," he reminded as he sat down across from me. I reached for his hands, but he quickly pulled them off of the table and placed them on his lap.

I nodded to let him know that I understood. "How have you been?" I huffed, trying to break the ice.

"Alright." I noticed that he didn't ask me how I'd been.

_So much for small talk._

"Thank you. Thank you for giving me a chance to talk to you." I looked at him hopefully, but he refused to meet my eyes. He sat stiffly, almost like a statue.

"I know that you're still angry. I don't blame you. Just hear me out, please." He looked up and nodded for me to continue. "First of all, what you saw happen between Seth and me that night… that wasn't something I wanted. I told you that we had moved on and, in my mind, we had. He came on to me and I was so drunk that I didn't react quickly enough. I know that's not a very good excuse, but please believe me when I tell you that I haven't seen or talked to him since that night. I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. Edward, if nothing else I just want you to forgive me for being a total asshole. Please don't hate me."

For several minutes, I squirmed internally, waiting to hear what his response would be. He brought his right hand up and gently chewed the knuckle of his thumb thoughtfully, staring at the table. After several minutes, he finally pulled his hand away, gazed up at me and cleared his throat. "I don't hate you, Jasper, and I forgave you a long time ago," he mumbled. His brow was furrowed and he swallowed. "Jasper, there's something that you need to know about me. Something I should have told you when you gave me that lanyard. I am so sorry. I'm… I'm not like other people. I' m not sure I ever will be. I'm working on it… trying to get better. I can't handle relationships very well and I feel like I deceived you. I thought I could do it. I thought I could have a normal relationship. I'm actually glad about what happened. It hurt me horribly at the time, but it also made it clear that I can't deal with the ups and downs of a relationship right now. Maybe one day, but not now."

"No," I said shaking my head in disbelief. "You're wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. Your reaction was totally normal. I should never have put you in that position to begin with. You have nothing to be sorry about. You only feel this way because of what I did. Please don't shut me out." I could feel the walls closing in on me. I couldn't let him think that anything was his fault.

He smiled and shook his head. In a soft voice, overflowing with regret he said, "I'm sorry Jasper. I've had a lot of time to think about this. I was even trying to build up the courage to come see you. We need a clean break. It wouldn't be fair to you otherwise. I'd be stringing you along. I can't… I just can't. I was a little worried, but now I'm glad you dropped by. We've needed closure."

Although his face remained stoic, I noticed that his hands were trembling as he tried to maintain his composure. This was worse than I thought possible. I had a least hoped we could remain friends.

_No way. I'm not buying this._

"I need you, Edward. When we first met… I'll admit that I was only interested in getting you into bed, but once I got to know you… It's like my soul is inside of you now. I can't let you pull away. It would kill me. Please don't do this," I begged. I could feel tears stinging the corners of my eyes. If I had to get down on my hands and knees, I'd do it. I was that desperate. I reached out and grabbed his hands. Surprisingly, he didn't pull away. I hadn't touched him in so long. His hands were warm. A tingling sensation was running up and down my arms as I gazed into those beautiful green orbs.

_Surely he can feel that too._

Taking a deep breath, he made an effort to change the subject. He slowly pulled his hands away. "I see you brought your guitar with you. Alice told me that your band has been getting more and more popular. I'd like to go hear you play again. Maybe one of these weeks, you'll see me at one of your gigs."

"Yeah. I didn't want to leave it in the truck. I was afraid it might get stolen. I can play something for you now, if you'd like," I offered, wiping the moisture from my eyes.

_Anything to stay here a little longer._

He bit his lower lip. "Okay. Sure. I'd like that." I felt that he was only being polite, but it could be my last chance to get him to reconsider. As I took the guitar out of its case, I struggled trying to come up with a song that might let him see things from a different perspective.

I cleared my voice and closed my eyes as I began strumming.

**It was late last night  
I was feeling something wasn't right  
There was not another soul in sight  
Only you, only you.**

**So we walked along,  
though I knew that there was something wrong  
And the feeling hit me oh so strong about you  
Then you gazed up at me and the answer was plain to see  
'Cause I saw the light in your eyes, in your eyes**

Though we had our fling  
I just never would suspect a thing  
'Til that little bell began to ring  
in my head, in my head

**But I tried to run,  
though I knew it wouldn't help me none  
'Cause I couldn't ever love no one, or so I said  
But my feelings for you were just something I never knew  
'Til I saw the light in your eyes, in your eyes**

But I love you best  
It's not something that I say in jest  
'Cause you're different from all the rest in my eyes  
And I ran out before but I won't do it anymore  
Can't you see the light in my eyes, in my eyes.

Although I hadn't actually said the words, my declaration was obvious and he got the message loud and clear. He looked stunned. Wordlessly, he shook his head as though he was trying to clear his mind.

_Fuck. Maybe that song wasn't the best choice. He was not ready to hear me say that. Hell, I wasn't sure that I was ready to say it._

"You didn't like it?" I asked worriedly, placing the guitar back in its case.

"No. No. It was nice. It… it was more than nice. You should definitely play that at your next gig," he said in a wavering voice. He was chewing on his knuckle again. His resolve seemed to be slipping.

_I must be imagining things._

"I'll play it if you promise to be there to hear it," I stated with surprising boldness.

"Jasper… I c-can't…," he stuttered.

"What? What can't you do? You can't come listen to me play?" I challenged.

"No. I… I… Jasper, what do you want from me?" he asked desperately. He dragged his hands through his messy copper locks in frustration.

"Everything," I answered quietly. "But I'll take whatever you'll give me. You have to give me something. Edward… FUCK! I'm in love with you, damn it! Can't you see that?" I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't know that love could make you feel so sick. He was shaking his head and had placed his hands over his ears.

"I'm not ready… I'm not… I can't…" He could not even articulate his thoughts, but I knew what he was trying to say. His brow was furrowed and I reached out to smooth it.

"Edward, I'm not expecting anything in return. I just want the chance to show you… to show you how much you mean to me. I want us to start over. I don't expect you to love me back. I'd like it, of course, but if you're not ready for that I can wait. I can wait for as long as it takes. Just give me another chance. Please." This was it, I had begged as much as I could. I took his hands in mine and kissed his knuckles. I never felt more vulnerable in my life.

"I'm scared," he muttered. "I don't know if I can do this."

I tightened my grip on his hands. "Babe, there's nothing to be scared of. I don't want any commitments from you. I just want to start as friends. Well, you'll always be more than a friend to me, but I don't expect to be anything more than a friend to you right now. Okay?"

A tear trickled down his cheek and he nodded. I jumped out of my chair and knelt in front of him embracing him with all my might. "Thank you, babe. You won't be sorry about this."

I was never a religious man, but as I knelt there fighting my tears, I sent up a small prayer of thanks.

**oOoOo**

He was letting me in again. He wanted to take things slow, but I made sure that he saw me every day after that. At least he didn't object. I stopped in the shop at least once a day, just to see him smile and feel his embrace. It took a couple of weeks before he let me kiss him again. It was just a peck on the cheek, but it was better than nothing. He didn't reciprocate, but I was a patient man. I knew it would happen eventually.

Of course, I was horny as hell. It was torture. I probably rubbed out one at least three times a day, but I wasn't about to risk pushing him too fast.

We went to a movie. I took him to dinner. Both times he insisted on paying for himself. We were doing it as friends, he would remind me. Despite that, I felt that things were progressing and I was deliriously happy. He allowed me to hold his hand in public.

I even went Christmas shopping. I didn't think a gift would be pushing his boundaries. I selected a dark green cashmere sweater that I knew would bring out the color in his eyes. I had it wrapped and put it under our crooked little tree. I made plans to surprise him with it. I just had to think of a way to get him to come over. I didn't want to take it to the coffee shop.

Three days before Christmas, I asked him if he would come to the house. At first he seemed dubious about my motives. He finally relented when I described Alice and Garrett's tree. Chuckling, he admitted that it was something he did want to see.

Leaving the shop in Angela's competent hands, we climbed into my truck and drove over to my house. I turned on the radio just as Jeff Foxworthy's "Redneck 12 Days of Christmas" started. We both started laughing as Foxworthy's chorus sang out.

**12 packs of Bud****  
****11 wreslin' tickets****  
****10 o' Copenhagen****  
****9 years probation****  
****8 table dancers****  
****7 packs of Redman****  
****6 cans of Spam****  
****5 flannel shirts****  
****4 big mud tires****  
****3 shotgun shells****  
****2 huntin' dogs****  
****And some parts to a Mustang GT**

I could hardly hear the lyrics. We were laughing so loud.

**Redneck gifts?**

**Yeah, like if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishin' lures,****  
****or if you can burp the entire chorus to Jingle Bells.****  
****Perhaps if you think that the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive****  
****or if you've ever misspelled anything in Christmas lights****  
****or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus!**

**What's wrong with that?**

'Yeah. Who are we to judge?" Edward snorted. I grinned.

Reaching out, I started to change the station, but he stopped my hand by grasping my arm.

"No, don't change it. This is funny," he said smiling. "It feels good to laugh."

I glanced over at him. He was leaning back, more relaxed than I had seen him in months. He was gazing at me with a sweet expression. Surprising me, he raised his hand and stroked my cheek with the back of his knuckles. I sighed contentedly.

_It feels so good to be in love. I just wish he felt the same way._

"Been a while, huh?" I asked turning my eyes back on the traffic ahead of us.

"Yeah… too long," he admitted.

I nodded in agreement. The DJ continued to blast us with silly Christmas songs the entire drive. Some were horrible, but Edward insisted that we leave it on the same station.

When we pulled up the long drive to my house, I noticed a Mercedes parked in front of the house. Alice's car was in the drive next to the garage. I didn't see Garrett's car, but I figured it was in the garage.

_Hmmm…Wonder who's here?_

Edward was talking about an incident that happened at the coffee shop the week before. Apparently, some old geezer tried to hit on Angela. He said he rescued her by spinning her around and kissing her soundly on the lips in front of the old guy. He laughed as he related that she turned bright red and he thought she'd stopped breathing. We stepped out of the truck and climbed up the steps to the front porch.

"Jasper, that guy had to be around sixty," he said. "What a perv!" He pointed up to the arch over the front door. "It looks like Alice has been busy decorating."

I looked up and noticed that there was a bright green sprig of mistletoe hanging down. I smiled, but I made no move to kiss him. I knew better. Instead I fumbled for my keys so I could unlock the door. Before I could get the key into the door, however, I felt myself being whirled around. Edward wrapped his strong arms around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss. It was just a peck on the lips, but I was stunned. I stood there like a fool not able to comprehend what had happened. Just as I returned to my senses and was about to kiss him back, the door flew open.

"JASPER? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

I gasped when I turned around and saw my father standing just inside the doorway. His face was red with fury.

_OH FUCK!_

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** I don't know what I'd do without **BbEyedGirl **and** sapphirescribe**. They are best beta and prereader any writer could ever want. Thanks ladies!

**Disclaimers: **All Twilight characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer and any Twilight movie references are owned by Summit Entertainment, et al.

* * *

**Chapter 8**

We stared at each other, too stunned to move. Realization dawned on me that I still had my arms around Edward. I dropped them; jerking away from him as though I'd been burned.

"D-Daddy?" I stammered, "What are you doing here?"

His brows were furrowed and his lips sealed tight in disgust. He didn't speak. Seconds ticked by that seemed like eternity as we stared at each other in silence. Over his shoulder, I could see Alice standing as still as a statue, her expression no doubt mirroring my own.

_Shit!_

"Edward!" she exclaimed, finally breaking the silence and startling all of us. She had a huge, phony smile plastered on her face. "I'm so glad you're here. I've been trying to get a hold of you. I need you to come with me right now to pick out a wreath for Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle. You don't mind do you, Jazz?" Grabbing her jacket from a hook on the wall, she slipped lithely around my father's hulking form and took Edward by the hand, pulling him down the steps backwards. He stumbled behind her, never taking his eyes off of me.

_Edward._

In my panicked state, I had momentarily forgotten that Edward had been standing next to me. I whirled around and watched as Alice dragged him away. Under different circumstances, the sight of the little pipsqueak exerting so much energy to pull and tug a guy a foot taller than her would have been comical. However, I could find nothing to smile about. He stared at me dejectedly until Alice opened the car door for him, and then he turned his head away.

_Please don't look at me that way._

"Umm... Sure. Go ahead. Umm… I'll just hang out here with my dad 'til you get back. Why don't you pick one out for our door while you're at it?" I suggested as cheerfully as I could muster under the circumstances. I waved and tried to smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace.

"See you later, Jazz. Nice seeing you again Mr. Whitlock," Alice hastily called out as she tried shoving an uncooperative Edward into the passenger seat of her car. It would have been impossible if he hadn't finally acquiesced and entered the car willingly. Not wanting to waste a minute, she sprinted around the car, got in and started the engine. I desperately wished that either the ground would open up and swallow me whole or that I'd wake up from this horrible nightmare. I stood there paralyzed, watching their departure until they disappeared down the long drive to the road.

Daddy's eyes must have been burning a hole in the back of my head. I turned and sure enough, his gaze was fixed on me. His face was pale and his expression a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

_Relax. Take a deep breath._

I walked up to him, gave him a one-armed hug and tried to keep the nervousness out of my voice when I said, "Hey Daddy. Wow! What a surprise! Merry Christmas. Can I get you some coffee? I think Alice baked some cookies yesterday." He didn't return the embrace so I released him and moved past him into the house. It was a pathetic attempt at nonchalance, but I didn't see any other option. Without responding to my greeting, he shut the door and followed me into the living room. I shrugged off my jacket, gloves and hat, laying them carefully over one arm of the couch. I made a gesture toward it, offering him a seat. He nodded once and sat down heavily, watching me silently. I plopped down on a small chair across from him and braced myself for what I expected to be an explosive reaction. I was surprised at his calm tone when he finally spoke.

"Alice brewed a pot of coffee when I got here. Sweet gal, that Alice. Nice southern manners. I'm in Seattle for a meetin' with a possible new distributor. Tried callin', but you haven't been answering your phone. Why is that, Jasper? I don't have to tell you that your mama's been frantic. Decided I'd bring by your Christmas presents and see what you've been up to. We're guessin' you're not coming home for the holidays." He must have been overwhelmed by what he'd witnessed because he seemed to be skirting the issue.

_Fine by me._

"Yeah. Sorry about that. I've been really busy. Did I tell you that I'm teaching guitar now? The lessons are mostly for teenagers, but I get $30 an hour. The band's gigs have picked up and we're playing at different venues nearly every weekend. Getting paid for them too," I added with a wink.

Another minute or two passed in uncomfortable silence.

He unconsciously started chewing on the corner of his lower lip and shook his head, as though he was trying to make sense of the thoughts swirling around in his head. "Jasper, please tell me that your old man's just confused. What I saw on that porch was you and some fella goofing around. It just can't be what I'm thinkin'."

I hesitated answering for a moment. "I don't know, Daddy. What are you thinking?" I chuckled nervously. I wrapped my arms around myself tightly and held my breath.

_Here it comes._

"Well… I'll tell you what I'm thinkin'. I just saw my son kissin' another man. I'm hopin' that don't mean nothin'. It sure as hell looked real intimate-like. I'm hopin' that my son hasn't been lying to his family. Tell me it's not true." He looked up at me with intense narrowed eyes. His voice was deeper and his expression became deadly serious as distrust washed over him, waiting for my reply.

Every ounce of self-preservation screamed at me to continue the deception, to tell him that he was right the first time. It was just me and a friend messing around. Before I could open my mouth though, I remembered the sadness in Edward's eyes as Alice dragged him away, and my heart broke.

_I'm not losing him again. Not for Daddy. Not for anyone._

I couldn't look Daddy in the eye so I stared down at his black snake-skin boots. I could feel tears stinging the corners of my eyes. With my heart thundering in my chest, I swallowed and admitted, "I-I just could never find a way to tell you and Mama. Edward isn't just a friend. He's my boyfriend."

"YOUR BOYFRIEND?" Daddy's voice was so loud, the windows rattled. "I can't believe it! So it's true? You're a fucking faggot? My son likes to take it up the ass?"

I wanted to tell him I was sorry, but I couldn't. I refused to apologize for being me.

"Look here," he began again in a calmer tone, "We need to get you away from here. This ain't no place for a young fella like you. You're from good stock, good people. I'm takin' you home. We'll get you the help you need. There are places… people who can help you with this. We'll ask the pastor…" Although he seemed rational on the outside, the sudden lack of grammar skills gave away the chaotic state of his mind.

I shook my head slowly as I pleaded my case. "Daddy, that's not how it works. I can't change what I am. I don't want to change what I am."

"And who the hell is that 'boyfriend' anyway? He has you under some kind of queer spell. Have you been doin' drugs, Jasper? I knew I shouldn't 'a let ya move up here. This side of the country's packed with queers! Spawn of those damn hippies!" His face was now bright red, and the veins in his neck were bulging and throbbing. "It's an abomination! This can't be happenin'."

He started babbling in a low voice now, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "I knew he was a mama's boy. I shouldn't 'a let him hang around her so much. She's made him into a sissy. It's her fault."

_What is he saying?_

I wasn't even sure if he expected me to answer his questions, but I couldn't let him blame Mama for anything. "Please try to understand, Daddy! I can't help being this way. It's not Mama's fault. Don't blame her.

"Look, I know that this is hard for you to understand, but I lo…," I paused and took a deep breath to steady myself for what I was about to say. "I-I love him and I'm hoping he'll love me someday too."

That seemed to trigger something in him. He glared at me with such animosity that I began to shake. I had never seen him look so crazed. He suddenly lunged at me, and we toppled to the floor. His fist connected with my mouth and I felt a sharp pain shoot along the right side of my jaw, settling behind my ear.

_Fuuuuck!_

Squeezing my throat with both hands, he began shouting obscenities at me as he banged my head against the floor. My heart was pounding and I was terrified. I knew how he felt about homosexuality, but I never expected this sort of violent reaction. I tried pushing him off, but he'd always been much stronger than me. I was gasping for breath as I struggled to understand what he was saying. It made no sense.

"Fuckin' hippies… bastards… drugs… lies… shame… idiot mother… company… granddaddy… home…" His words began to fade as my mind slipped into darkness.

"GET UP, BOY!" I coughed and wheezed as I felt a sharp nudge against my ribs. I opened my eyes and found myself staring at one of his black boots. I looked up at my father who was on his feet, towering over me and wiping his bloody knuckles on a dishtowel. I felt disoriented and something cool and wet lingered on my lips. I ran my tongue over my lower lip, tasting rust and salt. It stung. I sat up but had to struggle to stand. My sight was blurry with unshed tears, and my knees felt as though they would buckle at any moment. The room was spinning and I felt myself sway slightly as I tried to stay upright.

"You listen to me and you listen good boy, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once. You're goin' straight to your room to pack up your shit. I'm sending you home on the next plane. I'll call and get your brother to pick you up. You ain't stayin' here another minute." He started to say something else, but a familiar voice interrupted him.

"Get away from him!" Edward demanded, squeezing himself between the two of us. He tried to push Daddy's chest away, but Daddy didn't budge. I wasn't sure how he managed to get away from Alice, but I was flooded with relief at the sight of him. I was desperate for some moral support. I could feel comforting warmth emanating from his back and I leaned forward placing my forehead against his shoulder.

"Well, if it ain't your fairy girlfriend pretending he's some sort of white knight," Daddy taunted, slapping the dishtowel at Edward's face in warning. Edward raised his hand up and batted the towel away. "You're a little late, sweetheart. Go play dress-up with somebody else."

"You can call us names or beat us up, but in the end we're still going to be gay. Nothing you can do will change that," he stated flatly, staring him down with fiery green eyes.

My father ignored him and stepped to the side, glaring at me. "This is your last chance, boy," he warned. "Come with me now or don't ever bother comin' home again."

"I think you need to leave," Edward said moving between us again.

"I'm not talkin' to you, you fuckin' queer. Get the hell outta my way," Daddy warned before vehemently trying to shove him aside. Edward almost lost his balance, but he recovered quickly and stepped back between us. I noticed that he had balled up his fists at his sides. He was ready to fight, if necessary.

This was not going to end well. It was time for me to step in. I moved over to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Edward. He gave me the strength I needed to finally say something. Edward wrapped an arm around my waist as he defiantly stared at my father.

"Daddy, I'm sorry that I can't go with you," I stated with as much conviction as I could scrape up. My heart was palpitating, and I was shaking like a leaf as I locked eyes with him. I'd never stood up to him before and I was terrified.

"You're making a big mistake, Jasper. A Whitlock would never choose friends over family. A Whitlock would never have a faggot for a friend," he warned me. He glared at Edward's arm.

"Please leave," I muttered, closing my eyes and offering up a silent prayer that he'd leave without making more of a scene.

A moment later, I heard the front door slam shut. I opened my eyes and searched the front yard through the window. He was already in his car and backing out. As soon as his car was out of sight, I felt my knees give and Edward tighten his hold on me.

"Whoa! I've got you. Let's go sit down," he offered.

"No," I choked out. I pulled away from him and stumbled down the hall to my room, closing the door. I collapsed on my bed and let the tears that I'd been holding back finally break through. I rolled onto my stomach and buried my head in my pillow. In my mind, I could see Mama's face when Daddy told her. She would be heartbroken knowing that she'd lost her youngest son. My brother Jason would hate me forever. I might as well be dead to them now.

I felt the bed dip down and warm arms surround me. I knew Edward would follow me in. I wanted to tell him to go and leave me alone with my misery, but I really needed him.

_I don't want to lose them, but I don't want to lose him either._

He didn't say anything. He just held me close and let me cry myself to sleep.

When I opened my eyes again, the room was dark and I was alone. Someone had taken my clothes off and I was in my boxers tucked in under the blankets. As the memories of what had transpired earlier flooded my mind, I felt as though a great weight was pressed against my chest. How I wished that it had only been a bad dream. I lifted my head and glanced at the bedside clock. The time was 9 o'clock.

_I'm so tired._

I lay back again and sighed. As if he sensed that I was awake, Edward slipped into the room quietly. He sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hey baby. You're awake. Alice wants to know if she can fix you something to eat," he said, running his fingers through my tangled waves.

I shook my head and turned my body away from him, curling myself into a ball.

"Jasper, you can't lie here forever," he gently admonished. "Come to the kitchen. Talk to us."

"I just want to be alone," I rasped, hoping that he'd leave. But my boy was too stubborn. He wasn't letting this go.

"Jasper, please turn around and look at me. I know that you're worried about your family," he murmured as he continued to comb my hair with his fingers. "They'll come around eventually. It's been a shock and it might take time, but…"

I interrupted him. I didn't want to hear the rest. In a gravelly voice, I said, "You don't know what you're talking about. Edward, your family has always accepted who you are. They'll always support you with whatever you want in life. They've never stopped loving you. You couldn't possibly understand."

I felt him sit up stiffly. "I don't understand? You're talking to a guy who suffers from depression and anxiety; a guy who spent three months in a mental hospital, not to mention years in therapy. I'm still a mess."

This surprised me. I had suspected some it. I had no idea he'd been through so much, though. He slid to the edge of the bed and stood. I heard him shuffle away. I suddenly felt cold and alone without him. I rolled over and saw him opening the door.

"I'll be here, if you need me," he mumbled.

_Don't go._

A ray of light from the hallway filtered into the room when he opened the door. I could just make out his defeated expression.

"Edward…," I beseeched. "Wait."

He turned back to look at me, and I raised my arm towards him. "Don't leave me."

He shut the door and walked back to the bed sitting down on the edge again. A tear glistened in the corner of one of his eyes.

I scooted over to make room for him. He hesitated for a moment before standing up. I was alarmed at first until I saw that he was unbuttoning his pants. He removed all of his clothes but his boxers and tee shirt. He climbed in under the covers and pressed his head against my chest. I was overwhelmed with relief as I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my nose into his hair, breathing in his sweet scent.

"I'll stay here as long as you want me to," he whispered.

I was startled awake by a dream. I groaned softly. My head and heart were both hammering. I tried to remember the dream, but my mind drew a blank. Whatever it had been, it was frightening, and it took me several minutes to calm down.

My stomach grumbled miserably, reminding me that I hadn't eaten since morning. It was hot under the covers and I was sweating. In my sleep I had turned my body away from Edward and he had curled himself around me, his chest pressed up against my back. I turned my upper body slightly so that I could look at him. It was so dark I could barely make out the features of his face, but I didn't need to see it to know how beautiful it was.

_My guardian angel…_

Judging by his deep breathing, he was sound asleep. He had an arm draped over me protectively. Letting out a stuttering breath, I felt a sudden wave of claustrophobia and the desire to pull away. I gently removed his arm before slipping out of bed.

My skin was damp and the room was freezing cold. Standing up for the first time in hours, I stumbled around as I pulled on my clothes and shoes. I was shivering and felt light-headed. A glance at the bedside clock told me that it was 4 a.m. I opened the door as quietly as I could and stepped into the hallway, shutting it silently behind me.

The house was peacefully silent. I tiptoed into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Someone had thoughtfully wrapped up several sandwiches and left them on a plate. I wasn't really sure if they were for me, but I didn't care; I was ravenous. I grabbed two sandwiches along with a bottle of water and took them to the table. I sat down facing the windows to the backyard. The night sky was pitch-black with heavy clouds shrouding the moon and stars.

As I ate, my mind played over the confrontation with my father, and I wished that I had been able to say something, anything, to make him accept me. For the first time in a long time, I wished that I wasn't gay. There was no turning back from this. His rejection was absolute and it hurt deeply.

I felt homeless, drifting along like an orphan with no place to go. The blackness outside looked uninviting. Nevertheless I felt a strong compulsion to get out, maybe drive my truck around or better yet climb up on the roof. I needed somewhere to think without worrying someone might walk in on me. I needed a plan. I walked to the living room and donned my coat, gloves and hat as quietly as I could, then slipped out the back door.

There was no wind, but the misty air was freezing. I almost turned around to go back inside.

A thin layer of ice covered the ground and it crackled noisily beneath my feet as I moved around in the darkness, searching for the ladder. I finally found it lying against the side of the house and propped it up. I carefully climbed up, not wanting to slip on the rungs. When I reached the roof, I crawled up the slippery, steep slant of rough shingles to the chimney and sat down straddling the ridge and resting my back against the cold bricks.

I pulled out a pack of cigarettes from my jacket pocket and lit one up. Taking a deep drag, I drew up my knees and wrapped one of my arms around them to help preserve my body heat. Ribbon-like wisps of smoke rose out of my mouth, and I relished the rush of nicotine seeping into my bloodstream. I hadn't had a cigarette since early yesterday morning. Even though it was cold, there was a certain comfort in being on the roof again.

The feeling didn't last long though. Happy childhood memories of my family began to eat away at the edges of my mind. My heart ached as I remembered my granddaddy's corny jokes at the dinner table, Daddy's pride as he snapped my picture after I caught my first fish, Mama singing as she frosted my birthday cake, Daddy showing me how to form a chord on the strings of my new guitar, Jason and me sneaking out my bedroom window to smoke cigarettes he'd stolen from Daddy's coat. Hot tears trickled down the cold skin on my face. They weren't perfect, but I loved my family despite their flaws.

_Why can't they love me?_

I thought about just climbing in my truck and taking off, going back to them. Surely if I begged they would forgive and forget, right? Then I recalled my miserable teen years, locked away in my room. They would demand that I reform, maybe go to some ridiculous gay rehab where I would miraculously transform into a heterosexual. Then, of course, I could work for Daddy, marry a well-off socialite that they approved of and produce many Whitlock heirs to continue the Whitlock legacy.

_Not possible. Not even in my wildest dreams._

I felt trapped and alone. I pressed my forehead against my knees and closed my eyes as I remembered Edward's promise to stay with me as long as I wanted.

_Why did I have to make a choice? Why couldn't I have a loving family and a loving boyfriend at the same time?_

I wondered if he really meant what he said. Maybe he was just trying to make me feel better. I couldn't blame him if he pulled away. I came with too much baggage and his life was complicated enough. He told me himself that he wasn't ready for any commitment. Why should he be burdened with my troubles?

_I will never be good enough for him._

This line of thought was making me even more miserable. I had worked so hard to earn his trust back. The thought of Edward having to suffer because I ran out on him made me sick. Riley's death nearly pushed him over the edge. Not that I was comparing my leaving to the suffering he went through when Riley died, but I didn't want to add to his heartache.

_I know he blames himself when anything goes wrong._

I could feel the food I had eaten churning in my stomach. I purposely slowed my breathing and tried to calm myself. I flicked the cigarette out into the darkness and pressed my head against my knees.

_I can't leave him. I don't want to leave him._

I must have dozed off. I woke up with the sensation of fingers pressing on my knees. When I opened my eyes it was daylight and the morning mist had painted everything around me a pale gray. Edward was straddling the top of the roof in front of me. His green eyes were wide and his expression was etched with concern.

"When I woke up you were gone," he mumbled, blinking his eyes. "The bed was so cold, and I thought that you'd changed your mind and left."

"How did you know I'd be up here?" I asked in bewilderment.

He lowered his eyes. "Garrett said that you like to come up here to think. It's okay, right? I mean, you're not angry that I came up to check on you?"

_So sweet._

He looked a little guilty, almost as though he'd uncovered a deep, dark secret of mine. I shook my head. "He knows that I come up here to think sometimes. Of course I'm not mad."

"So… what were you thinking about?" Edward asked nervously as he shifted his eyes, avoiding mine. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he added quickly.

I took his bare hand in mine and lifted it to my lips. He shivered when I brought it to my lips and kissed it. I wasn't sure if I was the cause or if he was just cold. Smiling sadly, I said, "I don't know what I'm going to do without my family. I've been thinking about heading home to see if I can smooth things over. I'm not sure they'll even open the door to let me in. I feel so torn. I don't want to leave until I know for sure…"

He stared into my eyes as he waited for me to finish my sentence, but the words stuck in my throat.

_What if he never wants me the same way I want him?_

I was too much of a coward to try to get him to tell me. I'd already been through enough rejection in the last 24 hours.

"Know what?" he asked hesitantly. When I didn't answer, he added, "Jazz, you're my friend and I hope that you feel the same about me. If it's something I can help you with, please tell me. I can't help you if you won't talk to me." He scooted closer to me. Placing his fingers under my chin, he lifted my face up until we were eye-to-eye.

I was so mesmerized by the depth in those emerald orbs, I didn't notice that he had moved even closer until I felt him push my knees down and apart. I was suddenly aware that I could feel his warm breath on my face. I blinked and noticed that his mouth was only centimeters away. He licked his lips and then leaned his head in and brushed them over mine. "Tell me, please," he whispered.

I closed my eyes, savoring the taste of his lips. Swallowing thickly, I finally found the strength to answer him.

"…unless I know for sure that there will never be a chance for us. Edward, I need to know that you feel the same way I do," I whispered.

Edward bit his lower lip. Closing his eyes, he leaned forward until his forehead was pressed lightly against mine.

"I-I'm not sure. I care about you, Jasper. I don't want you to leave. I-I'm scared that if you stay with me, something terrible will happen. I just know it will," he said as he searched my eyes for understanding.

"The only terrible thing that could happen would be if we never gave our relationship a chance. You know that I'm in love with you." I mumbled, worriedly. "I can't imagine not being with you. I think you're in love with me too. You just don't know it yet."

He was silent for several moments, staring at me intensely as though he was struggling to absorb the truth of my words. I began to worry that I'd said too much. Then, like the sun breaking through the gray clouds, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly forming a sweet, crooked smile. "You could be right," he said. Without any warning he suddenly smashed his lips against mine. Although his urgency was blissful, I winced from the pain of my swollen lip and he pulled back immediately.

"Oh fuck! I'm sorry. That must hurt," he said touching my lip lightly with the tip of his forefinger.

"I don't care," I proclaimed, pulling myself forward and kissing him back.

We wrapped our arms around each other and pressed ourselves so close that we were almost one entity. When we finally broke apart a few minutes later, we were gasping for breath.

"I need to hear you say it," I insisted after my breathing had calmed down. My eyes were so focused on his that I felt as though I could read every emotion running through his mind.

Finally, he sighed. "What, that I'm secretly in love with you Jasper Whitlock? That I think I fell in love with you the day you rescued me from my parent's house? Hell, maybe it was before that. I can't stop thinking about you when we're apart, and I've nearly lost my mind worrying that I'm too damaged for you to stay with me. Is that what you want to hear?"

I hid my grin in his shirt and nodded. He admitted it! It was amazing how all my worries about family and home abruptly diminished, smothered by the warmth of that assurance from him.

"I don't want you to worry," I said. "I trust you. Please trust me."

He gently pushed me back and looked into my eyes. I suppose he was searching for any hints of insincerity, but I was confident that he would not find any. After a few moments his expression relaxed and he melted into my arms once more.

Our kisses became more passionate and for a time they kept us warm, but they had their limit. Edward was only wearing a light jacket without a hat or gloves. His cheeks, lips and nose were deliciously red and the skin on his neck was ice cold. In addition, my lip was really started to throb.

"You're freezing, babe. Let's go inside," I suggested. He smiled and nodded.

I grunted as I climbed down the ladder. My back and ass were sore from sitting up there for hours and my fingers and toes felt numb. When I reached the ground, Edward was waiting. His expression showed concern.

"I'm okay. I've just been sitting on the hard shingles for too long," I assured him. Then I sneezed.

"I hope you're not getting sick," he stated worriedly. I smiled. Edward was so cute sometimes.

He put his arm around my waist and helped me as I slowly limped into the house. Alice was snuggled comfortably on Garrett's lap at the kitchen table. It was obvious that they had been having a serious conversation because the minute we stepped inside they stopped talking and stared at us. We acknowledged each other with a nod and then they watched silently as we started to walk past them.

"Are you guys hungry? I made some breakfast," Alice offered brightly.

She had cooked up a batch of scrambled eggs, sausage and brewed a pot of fresh coffee. A plate of blueberry muffins sat on the counter. Although my mouth started watering and my stomach growled appreciatively, I wanted to spend a little more private time with my boy.

Edward and I exchanged glances before he spoke. I could tell he was thinking the same thing. "Maybe a little later, Al," he said. "Jazz could use some Tylenol, though."

"Left side cabinet," Garrett answered him, pointing. Edward reached over and pulled out the bottle. He shook out a couple of pills out, grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and handed them to me. He waited until I had swallowed the Tylenol before taking my hand.

"You gonna be okay, Jazz?" Garrett asked me. "We'd really like to talk to you."

"Sure, sure. Thanks for the Tylenol. We'll be back later," I promised.

Before Garrett could respond, Edward began pulling me down the hall. When we reached the bathroom he opened the door and let us both in.

I must have had a surprised expression because he tried to explain, "You're cold. I'm cold. A hot shower will fix that. I don't want either of us to get sick." He turned the shower on and began to frantically tug on the zipper of my jacket. When he had pushed it off my shoulders, he quickly pulled my sweater and tee shirt over my head.

I stood still and watched him as he pushed me down on the toilet lid and pulled on my boots. I was uncertain as to what this meant. Yes, we had been kissing passionately just a few minutes ago, but was he really ready for this kind of intimacy? I hoped he wasn't doing this because he thought it was what I expected or, worse, because he felt sorry for me.

_Not that I don't want this. I do!_

I had fantasized about showering with him many times, but under different circumstances. He had me standing now and was unbuckling my belt. I placed my hands over his to try to stop him, but he ignored me, unbuttoning my jeans and jerking down the zip.

"Edward, we don't have to do this," I said softly.

"Yes we do," he answered back as he pushed my hands away and tugged my jeans and boxers down. I stepped out of them and then gasped as I saw myself in the mirror. There were large, angry bruises around my neck and on one side of my chest. One corner of my lower lip was puffed up and purple. My hair was a tangle of blond curls and my nose and tips of my ears were bright red from the cold.

"I just need to take care of you right now," he explained. "Doctor's son, remember?"

_Does that mean no shower sex?_

I couldn't help but pout a little when I realized that my shower fantasy was not about to come true.

Steam was billowing around us. He reached into the shower and adjusted the water temperature. "Get in, Jasper. I just need to get undressed and I'll be in too." He sighed as he gazed at my form, reaching out and touching some of my bruises with the tip of his forefinger. Then he gave me a little push toward the shower.

The thought of seeing my Edward naked again made my cock twitch with anticipation. I stepped into the hot shower obediently, too stunned to say anything. Within seconds, I felt his arms snake around me as he pulled my back to his chest. I could feel his lips on the nape of my neck. His warm breath tickled, making me smile. His semi-hard dick was pressed against my ass.

I needed to see him. It had been so long. I turned around in his arms and took a small step back to appraise his beauty. It hadn't changed much. The bruises on his ribs were long gone. He was still the most gorgeous man to ever walk the planet. To top everything, he had the sweetest smile on his lips.

"I love you, Jasper," he said quietly. He then added, "It feels so good to say that." He stepped forward and gave me the lightest peck on the lips.

"I love you too, babe," I told him.

We stood there for a while with our arms wrapped around each other and letting the hot water warm and soothe our skin. It felt so good to let him take care of me this way. A few more minutes ticked by before he reached for the body wash. Pouring some into his hands he lathered them up and began to wash me gently, even getting down on his knees to wash my legs and feet. By the time he stood up again, my cock was saluting at full attention. He ignored it as he washed my hair, scratching and massaging my scalp with his blunt nails. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips.

When I was rinsed off, he began kissing my bruises one at a time, leaving my lips for last. He then placed both of his hands on either side of my head and pulled me forward. Once his lips were molded to mine, I tightened my grip on him. I could feel his erection pressing against my pelvis and I was certain that he could feel my own. I reached down to grab hold of his cock, but he pushed his hips away.

"No," he said firmly.

I felt a blush heating my cheeks and turned my head away, hoping that he wouldn't notice my embarrassment. I couldn't comprehend what I had done wrong. Of course, Edward was hyperaware of everything in this small space. He cupped my cheek and turned my head to face him as he looked into my eyes.

"Believe me. I want to," he tried to explain. "Just… just not here. Not right now." His eyes begged me to understand. I nodded. Alice and Garrett were waiting for us in the kitchen. This would have to wait until later.

I reached for the shampoo so that I could start washing him, but he took it away from me. He quickly washed and rinsed his hair and body. By the time he turned off the water, it was starting to get cool.

As we stepped out of the shower, I let my eyes feast on his wet, flawless body. He dried himself thoroughly and then looked over at me as he wrapped a towel around his waist. I blinked, suddenly aware that I had been standing there stark naked and dripping wet just staring at him. I grabbed a towel and quickly dried myself off.

Wrapping the towel around my waist, I nodded at him. He opened the door and a rush of cold air hit us. We scrambled to my room to change before going to the kitchen to talk to Alice and Garrett.

"We're still waiting, Jazz!" I heard Alice call out.

For the first time in the last 24 hours, I was reminded that I did have people who cared about me, loved me. They accepted me and made no demands. Maybe they weren't blood relatives, but they were family too.

* * *

**We'll see what words of wisdom Jasper's friends have for him next.**

** Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Is anyone still out there? It's been a while. I know. Thanks to sapphirescribe for pre-reading. Love you bb. No beta this time around. All mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing but the idea for this story.**

**Chapter 9**

**JPOV**

It's amazing how our brains work to protect themselves. By the time Edward and I had dressed and emerged from my bedroom, my mind was already numb. I felt like I was floating along. I hadn't really forgotten anything, but as much as I tried, my brain refused to dwell on the events of yesterday. Instead, it focused on the strength and warmth of his hand wrapped around mine. Recollections of Edward's soft kisses in the shower lazily drifted through my mind like snowflakes in a snow globe, whiting out the landscape. Involuntarily, I shivered. Edward squeezed my hand. When I glanced at him his brows were raised. I smiled back to reassure him.

_Pay attention!_

Alice was rambling on about how working at Edward's shop was the perfect solution, but Garrett was saying something about the rent. What the fuck were they talking about? Were they arguing? Who knew? I managed to nod every now and then like a bobble-head doll. I laid my head against Edward's shoulder and pretended to listen. I really had no idea what they were going on about.

In general, they consoled me, encouraged me and cheered me, but I couldn't concentrate on anything other than the memory of Edward telling me that he loved me. Of course, there were hugs, tears, pats on the back and plenty of tequila to help thicken the haziness in my brain. Alice and Garrett assured me that they and everyone else I knew would always be here for me. We were our own family now and we would all get through this together.

_**We love you, Jasper. Don't ever forget that.**_

The wind whistled eerily outside, rattling the windowpanes. As the rain beat ominously against the roof, Alice's words resounded in my head. I knew they were meant to be comforting, but my mind wouldn't relax enough to fall asleep. I laid there with a dreamy smile listening to the thunderstorm outside. This was the first time in months that Edward stayed over. Next to me, a shudder ran through his body. He had been snoring all night and I wondered briefly if our time outside yesterday morning had caused him to come down with a cold.

A sudden crack of thunder shook the house and left my heart racing and my eyes wide open. Lightening lit up the sky and brightened the room for a moment. Edward groaned and coughed. I pulled myself closer, tightening my arm around his warm chest and nuzzling the soft hair on the nape of his neck. I was going to need his strength now. Even hearing all of Alice and Garrett's assurances, I knew there was no way I could make it without him.

The corners of my lips lifted slightly as I remembered our activities earlier in the evening. He had been as fierce as a starving tiger. It had been months since we'd had sex and his reluctance in the shower, regardless of his denial, reinforced my belief that he simply wasn't ready for more intimacy yet. I was shocked with his outright forwardness the moment Alice and Garrett left for the evening.

_Boy, was I wrong!_

Looking back now, I wondered if he'd talked Alice into leaving us alone for the night. Edward and Alice had a way of speaking to each other without words, giving them a special relationship that I often envied. I wasn't sure how they did it, but I suspected that it had to do with subtle gestures, touches and eye contact. After beating the subject of my predicament to death, I was relieved when she announced that she and Garrett would be spending the rest of the evening at her old apartment. They had planned to visit her parents for the holidays and would be heading to the airport very early the next day.

"That way we won't wake you up," she said, smiling sweetly and winking.

"But its raining buckets outside," Garrett protested as he stood in front of the open door with their suitcases. Alice simply grabbed his arm and dragged him to the car.

One moment Edward and I were standing on the porch waving to them as they pulled out of the drive and the next he'd dragged me by the waist into the house. Shoving me back against the wall, he pressed one of his hands against my crotch. With his other hand, he grabbed the back of my neck and crushed our lips together. In between his searing kisses, I felt his hot breath tickle my ear as he whispered, "I've waited for this so long. I can't wait anymore. Please, Jasper." He nibbled my ear lobe between his soft warm lips. Slipping a hand under my shirt, he skimmed my back lightly with his fingertips. Goosebumps formed on my forearms. I had waited for this a long time too.

_No need to twist my arm, darlin'._

I could barely contain my excitement. In one quick move I flipped us around and grabbed hold of his wrists bringing them up above his head. Our lips connected and our tongues tangled as we pushed them back and forth between our mouths. Fuck, he was delicious. My cock thickened and throbbed as we rutted against each other.

He tore his wrists away from me and gently pushed me back.

"Jesus, Edward. Don't tease me…," I moaned. I could see in his darkened, lust-filled eyes that it wasn't his intention.

Shaking his head and keeping his eyes trained on mine, he slowly began unbuttoning his shirt. "…need you… please…," he pleaded. His shirt slipped off of his shoulders and fell to the floor.

I tore off my sweatshirt and pulled his face forward with both hands. As we kissed, I pressed myself against him feeling the heat radiating from his chest. Our hearts pounded a steady rhythm which vibrated through my entire body. When we kissed it was as if we melded together. It always felt so right with him. I'd never felt it with anyone else.

_I need more._

I dropped my hands and sank down to my knees. Quickly, I unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. He buried his fingers in my hair and groaned loudly as I nuzzled his hard shaft through the thin fabric of his briefs. His intense scent went right to my dick and my mouth watered in anticipation.

I looked up and saw his half-lidded, dark green eyes staring down at me. Without looking away, I grabbed hold of the waistband of his jeans and briefs together, tugging them down to his ankles. He toed off his shoes and kicked the offending clothes behind me. They went flying into the living room and I laughed at his eagerness.

With the exception of his socks, he was gloriously naked now. Sticking my tongue out I ran it along the entire length of his shaft from base to tip. He shuddered and moaned, scratching my scalp with his blunt nails.

"Jas…," was all that he could utter before I sucked the head into my mouth.

_Oh yeah. Just like I remember. Delicious._

Wrapping one hand around his thigh for leverage and the other around base of his thickened length, I took him as deep as I could without gagging and swallowed. He cried out emitting all sorts of noises: gasps, groans and expletives. This was more enjoyable than I remembered. I took my time with him, bringing him to the edge over and over. When I felt his balls tightening, I knew that he was close. Using the middle finger of my right hand, I circled his hole lightly before just pressing the tip in.

"OH GAWD!" he screamed.

I felt his cock swell and begin to pulse as he frantically thrust forward. Long warm streams of his creamy essence filled my mouth. I sucked and swallowed until there was nothing left. When his cock was limp and sated, I released him from my mouth. He swayed and started slipping down to the floor. I had to hold him steady as I stood up and ravished his lush lips, allowing him to taste himself. A lazy smile spread across his face when I pulled away.

_My turn now._

Half of me wanted to throw him over the back of the couch and fuck him fast and hard. But the other half, the smarter one, wanted this to be like the first time. Better than the first time. The first time we simply fucked in desperation for release. This time I needed it to last. I wanted to pour all of my love into it. I wanted him to see that it wasn't just about sex anymore.

I brought both of his hands to my lips and kissed them. I tugged and led him down the hall to my room. The corners of his mouth lifted as he staggered drunkenly behind me.

It was always cold in my room, but now it felt as if we'd entered an inferno. He clutched me close, burying his head into my shoulder. As he began kissing me, he fumbled with the button and zipper on my jeans. I helped by kicking off my shoes.

Within moments we were both nude, our arms wrapped around each other standing quietly, savoring the embrace. After a few moments, I felt his fingers lightly running up and down my back. He moaned when I kissed him, forcing my tongue into his hot mouth.

"You are so fucking beautiful," I murmured into his mouth.

He smiled and replied, "Flattery will get you everywhere, love."

Leading me to the bed, he winked and said, "It's cold in here. Want to get under the covers?"

Without answering him, I pulled the blankets back and climbed on the bed. He followed. I scooted up until I was sitting up against the headboard with the pillows supporting my back. I beckoned him to straddle me. He placed his knees on either side of my hips and sat down on my thighs.

"What is it?" he asked with a mischievous grin.

_As if you didn't know…_

I reached for a condom from the bedside. "C'mere," I ordered as I sheathed myself.

Placing his hands on top of the headboard for balance, he lowered his head and our lips met. Languid kisses gave way to needy, fiery ones within seconds. My hands never stopped moving, stroking and scratching, as I reacquainted myself with every erotic patch of skin I remembered on him.

He gasped when my lube-slicked fingers first breached his delicate opening. He was very tight and his soft whimper reminded me to be gentle. As I pumped my fingers in and out, I held on to his hip with my other hand. I watched his expression carefully. When I saw him clench his eyes shut and grimace, I stilled my fingers.

"Are you okay, darlin'?" I whispered with concern.

His eyelids flew open and he looked down at me before nodding. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead and he was flushed from his chest to the tips of his ears.

"J-Jasper… D-D-Don't stop," he stuttered softly. Obediently, I started moving my fingers in and out. He brought down his hands bracing them against my chest and threw his head back.

It took a little longer than usual, but he when he began pushing his hips down to force my fingers in deeper, I knew he was ready for me. He whimpered when I pulled out my fingers and positioned him over my stiff cock.

"Ready?"

He took a deep breath and nodded. He impaled himself slowly stopping every few moments to adjust.

"Take your time, babe," I said watching him carefully, even as I was fighting the urge thrust up into him. "We have all night."

My breaths were shallow and my muscles tense until I felt his buttocks touched my thighs. It was a glorious feeling being sheathed in his hot smooth tunnel. Sighing in relief, I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him down. He brushed his lips against mine and I took advantage, sucking his upper lip into my mouth enjoying its soft texture. I waited patiently for a signal that he was ready to continue and never let my lips leave him. Running my tongue over the stubble along his jawbone, I stopped at his earlobe and sucked it into my mouth. Shivering, he sat up and deliberately circled his hips.

"Now," he said.

Our lovemaking was gentle and sweet, like a dance, rocking together in slow synchronized moves. I did all the work at first, thrusting into him slowly. However, it wasn't long before the slow pace became too much for us. Edward pushed himself up and started to ride me.

Gasps, moans and the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed in the room.

I could feel the tingling in my balls and I knew I couldn't hold back much longer. Grabbing hold of his cock, I began to stroke him furiously. As we stared into each other's eyes, thunder shook the house and the electricity went out. As though he had timed it to perfection Edward came, clenching his muscles tightly around my cock. Every nerve in my body seemed to be on fire. I saw sparks exploding across my vision and for a moment I felt as though I was flying through the storm with him.

Lying there, trying to gain control of our breathing, I was overwhelmed with love for him. I realized that I was crushing him tightly to my chest. He gave me no resistance and molded himself to me. It was as if we had become one person. Minutes passed. Finally I felt myself slip out of him and I felt a tremendous sadness at the loss.

"Mmmmm… Love you so much," he whispered sleepily as he rolled onto his back. "Will you set the alarm for 6? I have to get up and open the shop in the morning." He yawned and closed his eyes. I sat up and picked up the alarm clock on the bedside table. By the time I laid my head on the pillow, he was already passed out. Kissing his shoulder lightly, I thought about how far we had come in the last few months. It was more than I ever dreamed.

**oOoOoOo**

I must have drifted off at some point because I was startled when I felt Edward bound out of the bed. The bedroom door slammed against the wall. He had thrown the covers off of us and left me lying there naked and shivering.

_What the fuck?_

I yawned and sat up, grabbing the covers to pull them back over me. I let my head drop back down to the pillow and closed my eyes. Then I heard the retching.

_Oh no._

As horrible as it sounds, I wanted to ignore what I'd just heard. But I knew I couldn't go back to sleep now. He needed help. Sighing, I climbed out of our warm bed and pulled on a tee shirt and my boxer briefs. There was no time to find my socks so I toddled out of the room barefoot.

Across the hall, the door to the bathroom was slightly ajar. I could see Edward crouched over the toilet in the dark, emptying the contents of his stomach. I took a deep breath and switched on the light. I could never stand the sight or smell of vomit without gagging, but I forced myself to kneel down next to him. I rested my hand on his back and noticed that it felt very warm.

"Are you okay, babe?" I asked realizing immediately how stupid that sounded.

Groaning, he shook his head weakly and sat back against the tub. He looked so miserable. His face was pale and locks of his damp hair were sticking to his forehead. I pushed them aside and stroked his sweaty brow. Seconds later, he threw himself forward and wrapped his arms around the toilet bowl as he began vomiting again.

I stood up helplessly looking around the bathroom hoping to come up with a way to ease his pain. Of course, I had no idea what to do. It had been ages since I'd been sick like that, but it was a feeling that I never forgot and I was completely sympathetic. I grabbed a hand towel from the linen cabinet and wet a corner with water from the tap.

He sat back again and looked up at me with watery eyes.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

I shook my head and smiled weakly. "It's not your fault that you're sick."

I flushed the toilet and kneeled down in front of him. I wiped his face and mouth gently with the hand towel. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his knees. He was shivering and I realized that he didn't have a stitch of clothing on.

"You're freezing."

I stood again and pulled out a large bath towel from the cabinet. I wrapped it around his shoulders and placed my palm on his forehead. I sighed. He was burning up.

"You have a fever, babe. We should get you back into bed."

He didn't argue. I helped him struggle to his feet.

"Do you want to rinse out your mouth?"

He nodded and turned on the tap. Cupping his hand under the running water, he brought it to his mouth, swished it around and spit it out.

I turned off the water and the light and then helped him as he stumbled across the hall to our bed. He fell asleep immediately.

I went through my dresser and found a pair of boxer briefs and a long-sleeved tee shirt for him. It wasn't easy to dress him without his cooperation, but I managed to do it before I climbed into bed and covered us up with all of the blankets.

I woke to sound of a blaring alarm. Edward was still sleeping. I reached over him and shut it off. A glance at the clock told me it was 6:21. The alarm had been going for 21 minutes and we hadn't heard it.

"Babe, we overslept," I said, shaking his shoulder gently. His skin was hot under the thin fabric. "Edward?"

He groaned and sat up slowly. "Oh fuck! I think I'm going to be sick."

_Crap!_

I jumped out of bed and grabbed the wastebasket near my desk just in time.

Afterwards, I handed him the tissue box from my bedside table and shook my head as he dropped back down on the pillow.

"Jasper?" he whimpered, wiping his mouth.

"Yeah?"

"I have to get to the shop. I'm going to be late."

"Dude, you're not going anywhere."

"Fuck. Angela's out of town. I have to go in and open up." He sat up again and groaned rubbing his forehead with his hand. "My head hurts."

"I'll get some Tylenol. You stay." I ordered as I shuffled to the door.

I went to the kitchen and searched through the drawers until I found the familiar bottle. The sun was coming up and through the window I saw the remnants of pink clouds streaked across the sky. The storm was over and it was going to be a beautiful day.

_For some people._

After giving him the pills and water, I made some oatmeal. I offered him some, but he refused to even look at it saying that the smell made him want to puke. In fact, a few minutes later, he did puke.

_So much for the Tylenol._

I checked on him every couple of hours, but he was still running fever and by noon could barely open his eyes, much less respond to my questions. He had started sneezing and coughing, a nasty barking sound. I paced around the house and chewed my nails. This was not good.

I didn't even know what his temperature was. There was no thermometer in the house. I couldn't go out to buy one. I didn't want to leave him alone.

I tried calling Alice out of desperation not really sure what advice she could possibly give me. She didn't answer. For the life of me, I couldn't remember what time their flight landed.

_Should I take him to the hospital?_

In the back of my mind, I knew here was only one other number that I could call and I cringed at the thought.

_Shit!_

I paced for another hour. Checking on him, I noticed that he was still burning hot.

_I give up._

I dug around in the pockets of Edward's jeans and found his cell phone. Scrolling through the numbers I finally found the one for "MOM". It took me a few more minutes to gather up the nerve to press the number.

**oOoOoOo**

The loud knocking on the door woke me. I'd fallen asleep on the couch. It was then that I remembered that I was about to clean up the living room. I had sat down for a moment on the couch and that was the last I could recall. There were empty bottles of beer and tequila sitting on the coffee table, remnants from yesterday. I really meant to clean up, but exhaustion got the better part of me. The trash bag was still clutched in my hand.

More knocking and I realized there was no time to clean up now. I walked to the door and prayed she would forgive the mess.

He stood there in his elegant cashmere coat with a look of mild disapproval. Then, as though he remembered his manners, he said in a faint British accent, "Good afternoon, Jasper."

"I thought Mrs. Cullen was coming," I said trying my best not to look disappointed. I surreptitiously glanced over his shoulder hoping she might be hiding behind his back.

"Your assumption is correct. She'll be round soon. I came straight from work." He brushed past me carrying a black leather case. His sharp eyes swept over the living room and landed on the bottles littering the coffee table. He walked over and picked up an empty tequila bottle with one hand. Arching a blond eyebrow in my direction, he asked, "Are you certain he doesn't just have a hangover?"

"I'm pretty sure." This was not going very well. I was starting to feel a bit nauseated myself.

"Where is he?" he asked, setting the bottle back down. He walked over to our crooked Christmas tree and lightly touched one of the condom wrapper ornaments. Edward's boxers along with his other clothes were scattered nearby. He kicked the shorts with the tip of his Italian loafer. "Interesting."

_Fuck! Why didn't I clean up?_

"Sorry about the mess. I'll take you to him now." I turned quickly and headed down the hall to my room. "In here, Dr. Cullen." I opened the door. When I turned around, he was still a couple of feet back from me. He was staring at me with a smirk on his face.

"Jasper, you're sleeping with my son. I think we can dispense with formalities." He paused for a moment as though he was waiting for a response. Holding that smirk and shaking his head, he said, "You can call me Carlisle."

In a way, he was wrong. We'd just started sleeping together last night, but I couldn't tell him that. As if it was any of his fucking business anyway. In fact, I wasn't sure if he was just joking. I could feel my face heat up. How did he expect me to respond anyway? When I didn't say anything, he chuckled and patted me on the back slipping by and entered the room. I clenched my eyes shut and counted to ten.

_He's fuckin' with me. Bastard._

"I'll just… wait out here," I mumbled, trying to hide my anger.

His face registered surprise but he said nothing as I closed the door. I rushed back to the living room and started cleaning up to get my mind on something else. I needed to get a grip.

I gathered the clothes, threw out the bottles, cleaned up the dishes and wiped down the table until it shined. When I was done with that, I swept the floor. I didn't know what else to do with myself so I picked up my guitar and sat down on the couch to start working on a few tunes.

Twenty minutes passed before I heard the click of my door. Looking up I saw Carlisle walking into the room.

He sighed and plopped down next to me.

"I'm fairly certain he has the flu," he said wearily. "He wants to go to work, but he's in no shape to go there or his apartment right now. I hope it's not a problem if he stays a few days."

Wide eyed, I shook my head.

He gave me a relieved smile and patted my shoulder. "Good. I'll write up some prescriptions for the symptoms."

He pulled out a pad from his coat pocket and started scribbling.

"Dr. Cullen… I mean Carlisle," I started. My heart was pounding in my chest, but I knew I had to say this. "I know you don't like me, but I think it's because you don't want him to get hurt. I just want you to know that I really care about Edward. I promise to try to never cause him any pain."

The pen stopped moving on the pad. His piercing blue eyes were aimed at my own and the corners of his lips turned up slightly, but the smile never reached his eyes. His face looked so much like Edwards. He set the pad and pen down on the coffee table and turned his body on the couch to face me.

"I can assure you that you're wrong," he stated firmly. "I worry about Edward. That is true. You don't have children, so I imagine it's hard for you to understand how I feel." He sighed deeply and shook his head. I saw pain etched on his face for a fraction of a second. "You never stop worrying about them no matter how old they get."

He sighed again and rubbed the back of his neck back and forth with his hand.

"When Edward was a child, I was there to put plasters on his cuts or hold him tightly on my lap when he cried because some other child had been mean to him. His mother and I would take turns staying up with him when he was sick. I could watch out for him and keep him from getting hurt. I could comfort him, soothe his pain. The older he became, the harder it was to keep him from harm. Now that he's grown, he's managed to get himself into situations that I can do nothing about.

"I don't know how much he's told you about the last few years. They've been… very difficult… for all of us. I'm a doctor. I am used to seeing people suffer. Yet there is nothing that I can do to help Edward with the kind of pain he has suffered. And that, Jasper, is unbearable for me."

"Edward has already told me about Riley. He told me about the hospital and the meds. He even told me about picking up guys when he was a teen… how Adelena screamed and woke everyone up." At this Carlisle chuckled. I wanted him aware that Edward hadn't kept anything from me. I knew everything.

He paused for a moment and looked down at his hands. His face registered some anguish. "Edward and Esme are all that I hold dear. If anything ever happened to either of them, I can't imagine what I would do."

He took a deep breath and looked up. "So, I can assure you that I do not dislike you. I sincerely hope that you and he find happiness together. However, I'm not romantically delusional and do not believe that there will never be pain for the two of you. Life's highway has many bumps and the side effect of love can sometimes be pain. Many times that pain is fatal to a relationship. I just hope that you both can work through it."

We sat there silently for a couple of awkward minutes looking anywhere but at each other. Then tentatively, he put his right hand out. His eyes were now fixed on mine. I took it in my own and we shook hands like partners, agreeing to take care of the person that we both loved.


End file.
